Have a question for some mamas. I’m one month postpartum today; I just had my first child, a little boy, in May. I’m a single parent. Is it just me, and this may just be my postpartum talking, but does it seem like after you have a child that you just don’t matter anymore? That you don’t exist to others? I had friends and family up to my ass while I was pregnant, and now that I had him, they don’t want anything to do with me and don’t even care that I’m still healing from having him; they just want to see him. They don’t care that I’m still healing and went through a traumatizing birth, don’t care that sometimes I’m too exhausted to even get out of bed, don’t care that it takes a miracle for me to even leave my house. They don’t ask how I’m doing, just “Where’s the baby, how’s the baby, when can I see the baby.” I just feel really alone right now and like I don’t exist with anyone anymore. When I see someone I know (friends or family), they don’t say hey they just say “let me see him.” I know when you have a child, it’s all about them from there on out, but damn is it so hard to get a “how are you doing?” Or an “I know the baby has all he needs, do you need anything? “ I just feel like I’m forgotten now and like I don’t exist at all anymore. I thought my child and I were supposed to be a pair. People and family that don’t even like me are asking to see how he’s doing, and it just hurts. Any other mom went through this? Is this normal? Is something wrong with me? Thank you, and I’m so sorry for the long post.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My parents favor my daughter over my son Advice? - Mamas Uncut
1st it sounds like your postpartum is getting you
2nd if someone doesnt like you they dont need to know about the baby.
3red sometimes people need to understand that it’s just you and sometimes you need the attention that isnt a bad thing
I think maybe you should find a therapist to talk to. I’m not being mean, and I’m no professional, but stay ahead of this feeling. It sounds like ppd.
Postpartum is definitely getting to you, but you’re not alone. I went through something very similar with my son. Don’t be afraid to look into therapy, it helps a lot. Hugs mama
Welcome to motherhood. It sucks. Learn to be ok and not have high expectations on others. Enjoy your baby and once he is a little older you’ll find your group of mama friends
I had PPD after both of my boys. I felt very much this way. I would talk to your gyno about it and also maybe try to get in to see a therapist. It’s not permanent. You can do this momma! I hope you’re feeling better with every day that passes.
Oh mama. Hang in there girl. It’s postpartum and I would go see your doctor to maybe try some medicine. With my son I did and felt the same way. My doctor got me on some antidepressants and I felt better over time and stopped taking them eventually. It gets better and it’s so worth it especially when that little one smiles. All the heartache and battles is worth it.
It’s sounds like you are suffering from post-natal depression… I had the same with all 3 of my children and I wasn’t a single mum. I would suggest talk to your health visitor the next time they come to see you about how you are feeling xx
Ppd mama. Talk to someone
Hey momma, it gets better, I promise. There is nothing wrong with you. You might be experiencing some baby blues but your feelings are very valid. My suggestion is to get out more and join some mommy and baby classes or groups. I felt exactly the same way when my first was born. I was super lonely and I made a decision that made everything feel so much better. I got my butt out of the house every single day. Maybe it was a short walk, maybe it was coffee with a friend, maybe it was a mommy group. It changed my life changing one simple thing. I know it’s hard to get out of the house and you are exhaust but it will get better
Unfortunately, this is quite normal. It never occurred to me that this would happen, but when a friend of mine had baby many years ago (1st in our group) she started bawling when I asked her how she, mom, was. She told me that no one else had asked her about her, only the baby. I see and hear this a lot when I talk to friends or just overhear conversations in public.
With this, I can tell you are struggling and at least a little sad and lonely. I think it would be a good idea to speak to your OB about all of this and see about getting some help with the baby and maybe counseling. I know how difficult early motherhood is, especially when you’re alone. I know I don’t know you, but please feel free to PM if you need some emotional support.
Definitely sounds like postpartum. And that’s totally normal. Your body just had HUGE hormonal changes.
Talk to your doctor, and be direct with your family and friends about your struggles.
If they don’t know, they can’t help. And it winds up costing relationships in the end. Just be blunt.
Sounds like postpartum depression to me
Honestly, it’s normal for people to be excited about a new baby and have all the focus on them. But still, my family checked on me to make sure I was doing okay too. I think it’s odd that nobody comments or asks about you. I’ve heard many times things like “oh wow, baby looks great. He’s getting so big. And how’s mom doing?” Moms definitely need a little TLC and need to be thought of, especially after having a newborn. I’m sorry you feel so alone.
You definitely have postpartum going on which is normal therapy or just some medication could help you out alot. Takes a while for you to feel semi normal again and thats ok too!
Hang in there and speak to your care team. I promise they will help you.
I had felt this for a while with my daughter. The second your baby comes out it’s all about him/her. It’s a leap from being about yourself and your relationships with others.
You should definitely communicate this to your friend and family. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little attention and alone time with people
But that’s basically Parenthood. There gonna be highs and lows. But that’s normal.
You gotta make the best of it
You should talk with a professional or therapist about your Post partum. I can’t diagnose you or anything but it def sounds like you’re at that stage and there is NOTHING wrong with you. Don’t let it sit. Okay?
And I think it’s really brave to admit what you’re feeling to so many people.
Just hang on, things will get better. Esp as the baby starts to get into a routine and you can plan things around his schedule.
Don’t hold it all in. And practice self care when you can. Some music … a nice bubble bath. Reading (if you can focus). And ask others for help. Everything will fall into place.
It sounds like post partum depression. I didn’t really go through this, but I’ve read about it and my doctor told me that it could happen. My family checked on me and baby after he was born last year. Me, my husband and our baby boy even stayed with my mom for about a week after we left the hospital. Talk to someone, or your OB because they can help and possibly put you on some meds to make things better. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can message me and I will try to help the best I can! Praying for you girl:pray:t3:
Postpartum. Need to be meds. Not having friends or family is a part of motherhood . You are expected to take care of your own needs, but can allow others to help with baby. It is normal for everyone only to show interest in the baby. Just see if can talk to someone and vent about how you feel. It will help some. Try to get plenty of rest and make sure try to see the good in things. Enjoy your baby while you can. They grow fast.
Oh look someone who probably has NO kids. How insensitive can you be to laugh at this?
My son is almost 3 months and dealing w the exact same thing. Everyone was asking me questions on my feelings while preg now it’s how is he. Nothing else. Nd its been a rough dmn near 3 months. Exhausted. This is why I dnt deal w many ppl, even family. Everyone swore would be over or whatever nd only a handful came in the beginning. Now, nothing. Sadly I think it’s common these days.
Its of course normal for people to be excited about the baby. But if I’m being honest these do not sound like the most considerate people! Its very rude of them. I’m sorry.
Sorry this is the way it is - kids first
Thats normal.most people don’t know what else to ask.they assume that your child is your world.
Mothers are some of the most hardworking, and yet most unappreciated people on the planet. Don’t take it personally because it’s very common. Moms take care of everything, not get taken care of usually. Find something for you, join a mommy & me group or just get out of the house in some way!
I went thru same thing with my first born. I went thru post partum with all three of my babies and that is some of the issue but not all. Tell people how it makes you feel. The second and third baby was easier after people realized how they made me feel like I didn’t matter anymore. Speak up girl!
I lost all my friends after I had my son. It does happen. I’m sorry you feel this way. I hope you can talk to someone about this it will help
CONGRATULATIONS on your new baby, Just maybe they , everyone is given you peace to settle in, And don’t want to disturb you , in case you are sleeping. They also might not to overwhelm you with constant calling or coming over. Maybe you need to reach out & tell everyone, how lonely you are without them
Definitely post partum. I didn’t go through this with any of mine, but a lot of other mother’s do. Definitely talk to ur Dr. Get a counselor, try some meds.
So sorry momma
I will ask, how are you? How’s it being a new momma? If you need to talk or vent or have crazy questions, my inbox is open!
You find out who your friends out when you get sober or have kids. I can honestly say I have one true friend and she loves my babies. When they ask about the baby say “don’t worry about my child if you can’t worry about the one caring for him first!”
Welcome to Motherhood.
Nothing is wrong with you! It’s ok to feel how you are. A lot of new moms do feel this way. When someone asks “how’s the baby doing” say “oh we’re doing great thanks for asking” and when they ask “when can I see the baby” respond “you can come see us at X time”. This may get people realizing what they’re doing. If it doesn’t though, just remember that it’s easy for people to get swept up in a new baby.
The comments that say “sorry that’s just the way it is” are wrong. That’s not the way it has to be. You are more than just your child, and people should be asking you how you are doing as well.
I’m not suggesting you have postpartum depression, but I did have pp baby blues for a little bit and felt like I was doing it all on my own even though I had tons of support. Baby blues go away but pp depression stays for longer. Talk to your doctor if you have other symptoms and they linger
Speak up. Call them out on it. Don’t entertain people who don’t even acknowledge you. Mother’s are an integral part of our society. We create and raise the future. You matter. Your mental health matters. You can message me any day any time if you need to talk I’ll be thinking about you
It makes me irate that women-mother’s- tell others moms who are struggling things like, “better get use to it” “the kids are all that matter” etc bullshit. There is a reason why the leading cause of death in post partum women is suicide. Support moms! This is not normal. Our society is so messed up. Like, no, Karen just because you “got over it” and let people treat you like crap does not mean other moms should. Stop with the, “I tougherd it out so can you” mentality and realize maybe you did tough it but you shouldn’t of had to in the first place. Break the cycle.
i have a 3 week old baby shes my 6 th baby but this is normal postpartum baby blues i think your midwife may have mentioned it to u in your after care it does get better if it doesnt soon please see your doctor its so hard at first but i hope your ok and congratulations on baby xxx
Hi everyone, this is my post. I decided to let yall know an update, I have any appointment to get on some meds in a few weeks. Thank you for all of your kind words and encouragement, I thought I was crazy and something was wrong with me for a minute there. I just wanted to say, its not like I don’t have anyone, I have some friends and family, I just don’t understand why they’re constantly redialling and texting just to see what he’s doing, and when can I leave my house so they can see him. They don’t ask if he needs anything, nothing like that. Just “when can I see him”. Especially my MIL, (To clarify I am a single parent, fiance is in prison) My MIL is especially the worst at this. We had such a close relationship when I was pregnant, and since I had my baby she doesn’t want anything to do with me, but constantly redialling and blowing my phone up to see him. Last time she seen him she called him "bo legged"and that he “barely looks like her son.” I cried after she left. She says these things but then constantly blowing me up to see him and makes me feel like shit when I’m busy or something has come up to where we can’t meet up. She’s been treating me like shit and since she’s said those things I really don’t even want to be around her, but I’m so terrified of her being spiteful and possibly calling DHS or CPS on me, even when they’d tell me to have a good day since he’s well taken care of. A couple weeks ago when she seen him, he was crying and I told her no pacifiers because I had a bad overbite growing up because of them (nothing against those who use them), but I told her no and she forcefully held one in his mouth so he’d stop crying to where he was gagging. I’m scared to stand up to her. So I’ve just been sucking it up. It hurts really bad and I cry a lot because I just want to cut her out but scared to. I’m alone and her making me feel like shit and talking about my child doesn’t help at all. I just feel so alone and defeated.
Check with your doctor about post partum it’s a very real thing. people are ridiculous out of touch about moms and their needs. Being a mom solo is hard, no if’s ands or buts. Sign people up for a casserole train or something chores wise that would help when they come to visit when you are ready of course. People are all about the baby, but that means taking care of you too. You do matter but people are obsessed with babies. You are a month out… give it some time.
Girl! thats so normal I promise! itll fade the more attached you get to your LO
It happened to me! As soon as they wisked my baby to the NICU (diabetes) everyone left me! I didn’t care cause I got some sleep!
It sounds like you’re feeling alone. You can feel alone even if you’re not physically alone. Talk to someone. A doctor. A friend. Anyone. It may be post Partum or it may not be but it’s best to address those feelings early on so you can find a way through it. Congratulations on your baby and being a mama. I hope baby and YOU are doing well.
You MIGHT start getting some recognition around when they get married… lol…just kidding.
Unfortunately that’s how it goes.
Mom’s just don’t get acknowledged really. People assume that asking about the baby equates to asking about the momma. Definitely talk to your doctor if you’re having trouble leaving the house and things. You still need to be able to do things you would do. This is a hard one for me but reach out for help if you need it, people don’t know what need unless you communicate. Momming is so hard but worth it. You can do this.
This is “normal.” It’s mostly because the baby is new! Sometimes it takes a: Yes. I’m doing okay! (Sarcastically) after being asked to see the baby or how the baby is doing! Let people know that you feel invisible since the baby has been born. I hope things get better, girl.
Congratulations I would suggest some pp therapy as it may be pp depression. No one ever checks in on me. And after I had a loss a month later no one once again gave two licks about me. Soon they won’t even wanna see baby. Trust me. It all fades. You could join some support groups or find a hobby? I like little to no friends for little to no more drama than what my minions already give me.
A closed mouth don’t get fed. If you need help… Ask for it. It’s okay to tell people you’re overwhelmed. It’s not okay to assume they know and be mad because they don’t.
I’d say this is very common, especially with friends/family members that don’t have kids.
Sometimes people are oblivious. When they say “does the baby need anything” say “no, but I could use a shower” divert and make it obvious to them that you still have needs. A new baby makes people blind I swear.
Yep totally normal.
It sounds like maybe you need to speak to your doctor hun.
Get used to it. I’m not meaning that to sound harsh, but you’re going to have to pick yourself up and understand that you’re a Mom now and we get pushed to the backburner as far as anything being about you anymore. They probably don’t understand that hormones are crazy after having a baby, and I’m sure once yours level back out you won’t be feeling like this.
It is normal, unfortunately! You should call a friend/family member one day and ask can you come sit with the baby while I shower or while I nap. Call another friend and ask them to just come over for coffee and adult conversation. If you ask then they will realize, you need help even if it’s just once or twice a week. They can’t fix what they don’t realize is broken. You will get through this but if you’re feeling so overwhelmed, please contact your doctor. Congratulations on the birth of your child! You’ve got this Momma!
Nothing is wrong with you! It happens when you have a baby. Good luck momma!
Maybe you’d like to join a mom’s group like La Leche League if you’re lonely?
It’s normal, they did it to me too but I started saying something like yeah I’m good thanks or flat out like I’m chop liver now, here he is. Probably not the best way but it showed them how I felt
It’s common to feel this way. I think even more so with the first baby. He’s new and exciting! As the focus of your world, time and energy … it’ll be important to put yourself up to the top of the list of priorities as well. If you are healing or tired SAY NO. between my first and second I learned it’s ok to say no to visitors…, made healing with my 2nd much more peaceful and the experience over all was easier.
As far as parents - yea mine’s focus shifted right to my girls. Friends -50/50. Honestly I lost so many when I had my first because of their lack of interest. I was young when I had her so it instantly put my friends and I in very different paths.
My advice? Talk to them and set boundaries now.
Absolutely hunny I felt the same exact way , people need to do better at checking in with Mamas after birth , not just the babies . And god forbid you voice how you feel-then the guilt just sets in. I’m here to talk anytime ! I was a new mom only 19 short months ago. PM and anytime .
people always forget about the mom and its always about the baby. well most people. ive had a few that have asked how im doing after i had my kiddos. not the point though. i think people don’t realize they do this. don’t hesitate to take time for you. that’s so so so important. just cause you have a baby now doesn’t mean you get put on the back burner. you need to take care of your self also. if the dad is around and in the picture have him watch the baby while you take a nice hit relaxing bath or shower and have time to your self. or do w.e u do to relax. if you don’t do this you’ll lose yourself and most likly slip into a very dark hole of depression and it fucking sucks. ask me how i know lol . seriously though. don’t take it to heart. just how ppl are
Yep, that’s about it. I’m also a single parent and when my son was born, everyone wanted to see him or look after him. Now he’s nearly 9, I hear from and see noone. I can’t get a babysitter for quids.
By the time I had my 3rd, nobody cared anymore. Just get used to it but do things for yourself. Don’t forget yourself
Single parenting is lonely… Mine are 9 and 10 and when they were babies, we had so many visitors but not anymore… I’m sorry you feel this way, I get it… you do get used to it
Get involved with new Mom groups and it’s a good way to to get to know new people that have problems also and are good to share your problems with.
Oh, yeah, and it was B A D for me, like, dark times and considering not living bad. Nobody helped me and I have no idea why I lived. Get some help, go inpatient if you need to. This is very valid, and you need help.
You might want to talk to your doctor. You might have a little case of ppd… If no one is asking about you just throw yourself into the conversation. Say something like here he is all cute and well taken care of while I’m just…( insert problem here) people tend to forget about the mama but you are a strong person and you do matter. Try to get some of those people to come love him so you can get a break and someone to talk to.
The baby is new & is now the center of attention & personally I would be okay with that because atleast you have people who care about you’re baby family/friends I have NO family other than the one I created with my husband & all they have is my husbands grandmother whom they barely see because she lives far & doesn’t drive but I would give anything! Too have someone care about my babies the way people care about yours.
I know you might feel alone but sweetheart you aren’t alone you have you’re precious baby.
Tell people they can see the baby if….they bring a casserole, watch the baby while you nap and/or shower, if they do your laundry, change your sheets, mop the floors, run your feet, paint your nails, fix your hair, fill your gas tank, pledge to call and talk to you about YOU every (Monday, Tues, Wed.—whatever day of the week and time you choose) for X number of minutes, or whatever you would like.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and the more specific your requests are, the more likely you are to get what you want. Most people haven’t a clue what to say or do, but are always curious about the new baby. So be assertive!
Are you on Facebook or something similar? Post a list of what you’d love to see and ask people to volunteer for various listings. Once someone volunteers, take that item off the list & generate a reminder for that person. Tell them they will get paid in snuggles, that “new baby smell,” coos and utter cuteness, and your undying gratitude.
Ask other moms how to “grow your village” of people who can help you out. You can never have too many! Look in forums like these, your neighborhood, your religious institution. Many have “helping hands” programs with volunteers who will run errands, drive you places, help with groceries or whatever. Check out mom’s groups, Mother’s Day Out programs, library programs for toddlers. Ask older or more distant family members (e.g., that third cousin once removed) to come help you. There are lonely singles in retirement communities who would gladly help out in exchange for someone to talk to, companionship, or the chance to hold a baby, even a screaming, stinky one.
And do check in with your docs ASAP. Help us out there! Life will get better!
What general area are you in? I’d come help if I were within an hour’s drive!
P.S. How are YOU doing!
That is completely normal everything is about the baby now
This breaks my heart and I’m so sorry you feel like this. Sometimes ppl are just unaware, and it’s unintentional. It really takes someone to really have been there to understand. It’s nothing like support. Nothing wrong with you and NO your not crazy. Your perfectly normal… It’s good to find some groups with other moms if you can that way you can pull on each other for strength. You will get through this. One day at a time.
Dont reply to these people. They are fair weather folk and dont deserve your time. Focus on you and baby and recover, bond and get the heng of this munma thang. Im 6 years in and still feel like a hot mess
People can be very careless. In the excitement of a new baby, a mother is often forgotten about. Maybe speak to someone who is close to you about it. They may think you are coping really well and don’t realize that they are even doing it. Give yourself more time to settle and don’t be afraid to use your voice
Talk to your friends and family tell them how you feel a lot of times when a new baby comes along ppl get baby brain it’s nothing against the mom it’s just baby is new just open up
I felt like that when I had my first son then when I had my second son 19mnths later I felt the same because this time people had forgotten not just me but my eldest boy too… I think it’s normal you feel this way and I don’t think people do it intentionally it’s just they’ve never met this little person yet and want to share in your joy… and thats normal too
Its up to you to express how you feel… When they ask about baby tell them he’s fine but you are tired
When they ask to come over to see him tell them yes but could you bring me this that or the other thing from the shop on your way as I’m struggling to get out… I bet you’ll find they are more than willing to help out they just don’t know how you feel or that you may need support because you perhaps haven’t expressed it clearly
I think it may also be beneficial for you to speak with your doctor about how you feel also and to find out if there are any local mother and baby groups you could attend where you will meet other women/men in the same situation as you… Being a single parent isn’t easy and many people feel lonely especially when their child is small so a good support network can be a real life saver…
The thing is you have to go out there and find it!
Good luck xxx
Unpopular opinion alert
Are you a bit jealous? You talk about your family being up your ass through the pregnancy. Now you’re pissed they’re not
You can do a couple of different things: ignore those people, obnoxiously declare “I’m fine, thank you!” (This would be MY choice ) or look on it that your family are excited for you and want to share your excitement. I doubt they’re deliberately being insensitive.
Motherhood can be one of the most lonely things. I too, was a single mother throughout my pregnancy and for the first 3 years of my daughter’s life, went through some really difficult things, went through postpartum depression, and felt the alienation! You’re not alone. Nothing is wrong with you. Having a baby flips your life into a completely different direction and most people don’t understand that a mother needs just as much attention as the new baby. I ended up talking with a counselor a couple times per week, and it helped me to just have someone to talk to who was a neutral party. If that’s not an option for you, there are tons of support groups on Facebook, and tons of people who would empathize with you through conversation (including myself!!).
Look into something for post Partum depression maybe? Ik every thing changes but it won’t be like that for ever. An while it seems like you don’t exist or your not important, you are the world an most important to your new baby. He don’t care about any of those people, just you momma!. You gotta stay strong an take care of yourself.
That’s not too much to ask, I’m sorry you’re going through that. Respect to all single moms.
At least they ask about the baby. Mine don’t ask about me or my kids.
Me personally I would just say something to them and be done fr
I felt this after having my first baby!! I was only 16. Then a lovely friend of my mum’s came to see the baby with a card and a present and when I opened it… it was a pair of sandals? I looked at her confused?
She hugged me and said i’v always thought it’s Nat fair that you do all the hard work but the baby gets the presents so they are comfy shoes for pushing your pram!!
I burst into tears! But never felt forgotten after that one kind little gesture.
I have done the same over the years for friends and family as I know what a difference it makes
You are not alone I went through that too with my son it gets better what I can say is go see a therapist it worked for me
I recommend talking to your dr about post partum depression and your feelings. While what you’re feeling is not abnormal and many of the other comments are right, there could be something else adding on to those feelings. You wouldn’t want it to turn into resentment towards your child down the line and you don’t want to hate yourself for feeling the way you do. If you don’t feel like you can talk to your friends and family about it then definitely talk to a dr. It might really help
You sound depressed. Please talk to your doctor. The baby is lucky to have people that love him. Your lucky to have him
If you need a “check in buddy” please message me. I know it’s not the same, but I love meeting new friends and being an ear to talk to. Regardless of everything, you need to make sure your mental health is good too. I’m here if you need me! Hugs!
I really hurt for you, because they should be helping you and making sure you are okay. Of course, the baby is the most important to you, but that doesn’t mean your mom, grandparents, etc. should not be making sure YOU are okay. There are plenty of ways to see the baby and help out. If that was my daughter, I’d be over to help her. I’d obviously want to see my grandchild, but my daughter is still my baby and I’d be taking care of her and helping her out. I’d talk to your family and let them know how you feel. I’m really sorry you are going through all this alone, it’s really cruel. If your emotions feel like they are swallowing you, make sure you get checked out for post partum depression. I’m not saying that what your family is doing isn’t wrong, just that the depression might start making you feel worse. I really hope you find a good support system, you deserve to be taken care of too
That’s how it is… everyone was all over me while pregnant then all over my baby as a newborn now were both forgotten about by most since hes been a toddler.
Nothing wrong with feeling that way, but u should honestly speak with ur doctor sounds like post partum depression ( trust me your not the only one to experience it and there’s no reason to feel ashamed for asking for help either !) In all honesty it’s better to be safe then regret it in the long run, you have a beautiful baby boy who needs u and u don’t want to resent him!
This is normal, and talk therapy can help. Also, reach out to family! You had a traumatic birth! Ask someone who wants to see the baby to come over and see the baby while you rest and practice self care. Tell your friends and relatives that you could use the favor. I bet you get volunteers. I would do it for you if you lived near me. I would probably wash your dishes and sweep the floor while you got your much needed rest. Been there girl!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My parents favor my daughter over my son Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Please tell them how u feel im sure if they care about your child they care about you but are just too excited Please tell them how u feeel im 100000% they care and would be smacking them self to know you are feeling this way
They are just excited , you’ve been growing that lil angel past few months… the “golden egg” has arrived. People do tend to forget that the mama just went thru something traumatic as well. Rest , take it easy … good luck Mama
It is very common, I’ve heard it from so many moms I know and it happened to me too. I know easier said than done, but be honest with people about how you are feeling. Especially as a single mom, you are going to need to advocate for yourself a little. If you have family or friends nearby (especially if there are other moms your age), saying “Hey, I could really use someone to come over and chat for a bit” or “it would really help if you asked how I was doing” or “I would appreciate some help doing this”. It is not going to feel good at first because we are programmed to not ask for help, but we all need it from time to time. And you may find that some “friends” and “family” fall away. I do think part of it could be PPD and you may want to speak to your doctor about how you’re feeling in that aspect too. Some people dont need medicine and that’s great. And some do, and that’s also great because we are living in a time that that resource is available to us and we are able to ask for it without the fear of being made to feel awful about it! Blessings to you and your new little one
I felt the same…very common…village isnt like it used to be
Yes momma bear, I been there and it sucks. But speak up and say something…hey u wanna see my boy, come by and watch him for me while I take a shower…or nap or something…most people are genuinely willing to help and open the question of how you doing!
If you feel you are lacking in support maybe express that fact to the ones that are closest to you and are repeats in coming to see that gorgeous bundle of joy. After all noone can know what your feeling by looking at you especially when there is a new baby. So open your mouth and ask for what you need sweetheart. Its perfectly OK to ask for a little extra tender loving care for yourself.
They are just excited, it’s normal and if you feel you need help just ask for it. These feelings are somewhat normal. Also you should express to someone you feel this way, you may need counseling or something if it gets worse.
Very very common. I’m sorry you are going thru this. Part of being a mom, especially a new mom is taking care of yourself. If these people aren’t helping you or you weren’t really close to them why do you have them over? You need your core. 1-3 people, mine were other moms that I just word vomited to them that can relate and support you. Even if its thru text. I spent 6 months doing what you are now with a hard birth and at 6 months my ppd kicked me in the ass. I would suggest calling your doctor and saying you feel this way. You don’t want to get post partum from other people. Turn your phone on silent and get some sleep. They gave the rest of their lives to see your kid. You gotta focus on you and speak up to what you need even If its I need to talk. Motherhood can be very lonely. Find your people. But regulate who you allow around you. That will be a help to you. I had been exhausted with my daughter and posted on fb I needed help and a child advocate I was friends with came said go to bed. And woke me up when she had to leave. Sometimes it’s the random things like that that mean more in the moment that the how are you. The someone just doing what you need when you didn’t realize it help
My granddaughter gave birth May 17th. I can see the same thing going on there too. Everyone fights to have a turn holding the baby yet no one notices how she is doing. I’m glad you brought this up and I want you to know that you aren’t alone it happens all the time. I for one will be asking how she is n what she needs now. I hope you start to ask your family too. Good luck to both of you.
I’ve gone through the same thing. I don’t know if it’s normal, per se, but it’s definitely rough and you’re for sure not the only one. I think part of it is PPD, but it hurts that people become more interested in your child. I’ve distance myself and my child from a lot of family for this exact reason; people who never had a care before now want pictures and updates and whole conversations about him but they didn’t (and still don’t) care about me before.
It is 100% common and so very, very wrong. You need to speak up to your closest friends and family members and let them know that you’re exhausted and not feeling well mentally. This should snap them out of it and get back to being a normal human asking how you are doing. Make sure that when someone does come by, you hand that baby over and take the time to do something for yourself - shower, eat a full meal, take a nap - ANYTHING that makes you feel more human and like yourself again. This phase will pass, and it’s so so so hard, but like anything else in life with practice and patience you’ll get past it. Big hugs mama
This is exactly what happened to me, only no one checked on me or my baby. Keep your head up and focus on getting well and taking care of your little one.
Sounds like a little bit of post partum + you feeling a little lonely. I’d definitely talk to those closest to you and say you feel lonely and would like company.
Another thing, you don’t owe anyone anything - including seeing your baby. Don’t feel pressured by people to do things you aren’t comfortable with.
That’s how it is unfortunately. The baby takes the light there’s nothing wrong with you. But some advice, don’t think on it so much that you send yourself in a hole. Post partum is real and try to take care of yourself, heal, breath, ask for help if you need it. You will be fine momma.