I do not like the way my boyfriends step mom dresses...advice?

I feel for this situation. There’s a level of modesty that has been lost in recent years.
I said what I said!
If you don’t want your children exposed to that, you have to express your concerns yourself, or simply choose not to be around her :confused:


How do you feel if dad says he doesn’t like what you wearing and will ask your boyfriend to tell you what to wear?

You’re all acting like the original poster is crazy for trying to tell another person how to dress. I don’t think she’s just talking about style. Her children are being exposed to literal genitalia. That’s a line Crosser. But unfortunately in the world we’re going to be exposed to people like that. If it was me I would remove my children from the situation but now this is family. I don’t think you should ask your boyfriend or your father-in-law about it. If you really have a good relationship with the mother-in-law ask her to speak privately. Sit down and say listen I think you have a beautiful body I’m glad that you’re proud of it but there are times where my children can see your buttocks your private parts and your breasts and I was hoping that since they are minor as you would respect that and please make sure all of those are covered when we are around you. You can still dress sexy and provocative if you really feel the need to without exposing body parts. Tell her you’re coming to her from a place of wanting to protect your kids and not a place of disrespect towards her.


If I was her and I was asked to dress more appropriately for someone else’s comfort, they about to see all my glory. You can ignore it, or leave.


Sounds like a YOU issue and you need to get over it. You don’t get to tell an adult, grown person how to dress no matter if you like it or not. Don’t look. :woman_shrugging: Get over yourself.

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Wow! This is just awful! You need to take a step back and your kids are only uncomfortable because you are uncomfortable. Teach yourself and your kids that taking pride in your body isn’t shameful. It’s the human body and beautiful. The audacity :unamused:


It’s is a PERFECT example to tech your kids that clothing is not consent. You teach your children that no matter what someone is wearing, it doesn’t make the person who they are, they only express themselves.


I hope your boyfriend is paying attention bc this is the real you and you won’t change. He’s absolutely right to refuse to “stand up” to his father over nonsense, and you sound ridiculous acting like you’re the one being done wrong here​:face_with_raised_eyebrow::face_with_raised_eyebrow::face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Hopefully his next pick is non judgemental and nicer to others


She is grown and can dress how ever she chooses. Sounds like it’s YOUR issue. Stop hanging around them, problem solved. And you have zero right to pick an argument with your boyfriend over the way his stepmom dresses. It’s not his problem either.

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It sounds like you’re jealous of his stepmom and sabotaging your relationship over it.


Tell me you’re insecure and overly controlling without telling me that you’re insecure and overly controlling

If someone that I’m dating picked a fight with me because I refused to tell my grown stepmother that she needed to get a whole new wardrobe then I would very quickly become single

Stepmom is a confident woman just trying to live her best life and not only do you want to shame her but you’re also trying to turn this into some huge family scandal. Get over yourself

Do you also not bring your kids swimming because people in bathing suits make you uncomfortable :joy:

If I were his stepmom and he came to me with this childish nonsense, better believe that I would be in a thong and nipple pasties SO QUICK just to be petty :tipping_hand_woman:


Be passive aggressive and buy her a new outfit for Christmas :woman_shrugging:t2:


Have a conversation with your kids about not judging others and letting people express themselves however they see fit :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: if a women is comfortable covered head to toe- great! If she’s comfortable in a sports bra and booty shorts- great! We love a woman confident in herself :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:

Honestly you need to leave that be. She just gonna be wild by herself. But also you need to just accept that people have strong personalities and if this is how she wants to dress. Tham that’s what she’s going to do.

“kIdS sHoUld NoT bE sUbJeCtED tO tHaT”
Literally grow up.
You’re the only one sexualizing that woman. I GUARANTEE the children are not looking at the step mom in a sexual manner. And guess what? You’re the one subjecting them to HER! YOURE the one that decided to take your children around her. If you don’t want your kids around his family then do not go . Literally the audacity of any of you woman to judge the step mom when she’s wearing what she wants in her own home is atrocious.

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You can’t stand what treatment? No one is doing anything to you. Worry about your kids and what you wear on YOUR body. And Kids only make a big deal out of things if we do. Mind your business and focus on yourself.


He can’t change how she dresses, you can just choose not to be around her

Just don’t go around her. Problem solved.


:rofl: girl make the comments yourself in a joking manner of course. Like wow Debbie you putting on a show for us today and laugh and see her reaction. I’d keep doing that till she or his dad say something or get it. Since obviously he thinks it’s a joke to point out to you her not so hidden gem, which by the way is disgusting and disrespectful to her and you. If it takes you to be the “bad” guy than so be it. I also use people as examples for my children on what is accepted and what isn’t. If your bf gets upset that’s on him and maybe he likes to look too bc why would you want to see your step moms stuff?


I guess I’d treat her with pity because she has nothing of value to offer the world so shows off her body instead.

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I mean you can’t control how other people dress . There’s nothing to stand up to dad about bc he realizes how dumb it would sound to tell his dad to tell his step mom to dress more to your liking. Your audacity is showing .


Stay in your lane.
Hey body, not yours.

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Mind your business. Ppl can wear what they want. Start dressing the same. :tipping_hand_woman:t2: :joy:

I would say mind your business but folks are ignoring she’s around her kids & if they are uncomfortable around it then they don’t need to be around it.

Embrace people’s differences


:heart: Unpopular opinion, kids should NOT be subjected to filth like that. I’m all for letting people be who they are and dress how they want. I think there’s a line between being unique and liking certain things and just plain being disrespectful around children. Truthfully you can’t change how she dresses and I highly doubt she will ever stop doing it to appease you. I personally would set boundaries and not let my children in her presence.


This treatment? Noone is treating YOU any sorta way here, if anything it’s the other way around. It’s not up to your significant other or your FIL to say anything to another adult about what they wear. If you have an issue then it’s up to YOU to say something, however, dont expect that conversation to end well.

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You have to let go of the things you can’t control. You are in control of you and your kids only. Not your boyfriend and certainly not his fathers girlfriend. You can choose to keep distance and stay away or keep kids away and from being exposed to it.

I think you should chill, sounds like maybe you’re self conscious.

You can’t control how other people dress.

My advice would to look beyond someone clothing a person personality says a lot about a person if u and ur kids r uncomfortable don’t go around her then. U could also have a sit down chat with her calmly n express ur feelings n also listen to her as well instead of starting a family feud over what someone wears!!

It’s her body, girl. She can wear what she wants. She is not responsible for yours or anyone else’s reaction. Maybe examine your own issues?

Why should he stand up to his dad?? No man, husband or bf has a right to tell a woman how to dress! This is not the hill to die on. Let it go. You cannot change her.


Id have a young kid go up to her and say why do you always dress with your private parts showing, that’s not lady like, your too old to dress like that but have it said in a busy public place. You know, since young kids are honest and maybe it will change her way of dressing


Personally I would just stay away from her .

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It’s her body her choice. But it’s your choice to be around it or not. Don’t like it don’t be around her. Although your boyfriends choice of words are a red flag. I’d advise thinking about all the other things he’s said you should bow down to. Maybe he misspoke in the moment but I’d keep that in mind.

It amazes me how many ppl are saying this women is wrong and has insecurities in herself, she’s not wrong for not liking it or wanting her CHILDREN to see it, it’s disgusting and the women should take some pride in her appearance! Save that for the bedroom with your husband! Ppl leave nothing to the imagination anymore they just show it all off, well guess what not everyone wants to see it!


YOU don’t get to dictate what another grown adult chooses to wear or not wear. Your BF seems to understand that. You however, not so much.

This stigma that women should be covered up is nonsense. It’s great to see people trying to destigmatize it.


That’s a you problem, not a her problem.

She has the right to dress how she wants and even her husband can’t tell her otherwise. If it makes you uncomfortable, just don’t go around her.

All you people saying she is a grown woman and to mind your business, what if your kids were the ones exposed to this I think ud feel differently about the situation.


Poor choice of words but he’s right.

Are you serious? She is a grown woman and can dress the way she pleases whether her husband says something or not. If you don’t like it don’t go around her. It’s a simple as that but honestly your opinion of how she’s dresses is irrelevant!! She’s proud of how she looks, so let her show it off if she wants to

Maybe some one is a lil jealous… leave that woman alone.


First of all, we are all assuming this woman is walking around in lingerie(even if she is it’s her business but thats the only way I could see her being sexual) but that may not be the case.

According to my grandmother I dress immodest because I want my clothes to fit my body properly. :roll_eyes: Modesty is an illusion, because the word and its definition will vary person to person based on their perceptions, culture, and experiences. For all we know, this woman spent half her life having to cover herself and now feels empowered to show a bit more.

What makes it provocative? Because another woman is insecure and finds it to be provocative?

Uhm stairs and dresses etc do not mix anyway. If you’re far enough behind someone on stairs you’ll be able to see all their glory regardless.

Either way you can’t tell a grown woman what to wear. This idea is toxic, and controlling. If your kids are uncomfortable then you’ve instilled in them an unhealthy relationship with the human body.
My kids could literally see a whole naked person and wouldn’t think anything about it but would probably laugh. Not because they are desensitized to sexuality but because they know the human body in itself is not sexual. Nakedness is not sexual. Sexuality is so much more than nudity.
So simply showing skin is not sexual or provocative.

As someone who grew up with a parent who forced their idea of modesty down my throat, not being allowed to feel comfortable in my own skin, I’ll tell you you are doing your kids a disservice and causing lifelong emotional problems and stigmas regarding nakedness and sex.

You can be appropriate and teach morals without demeaning another woman or sexualizing the human form in every aspect.

No way is a man gonna tell me how to dress. I feel like you are wrong for asking him to ask his dad to tell her to dress a certain way. I understand you may not be comfortable but no one can NAKE get so anything. They can ask but chances are she will still do it. Then what,? That shouldn’t be your boyfriends problem. What do you do about the women you and your kids see in public that you don’t know that is dressed that way? Is he supposed to say something to them as well? I’m not being rude I’m genuinely curious how its different because they will see it in people they don’t know as well.

Don’t hang with them, She has the right to dress the way she wants. You have the right to let her know not in your home. She respects your home or stay away.

Who are you to think you have the right to tell his stepmom how or how not to dress? Your boyfriend has no business whatsoever to “stand up to his dad about it”. It’s not “bowing down”, it’s minding your own business! If you don’t like how she dresses, keep yourself and your children away from her. Period.

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None of your business how she dresses.
You’re a red flag and your boyfriend needs to run and save himself.

I’m so confused why this is such an issue for you. Almost like -it’s not your body so idk why you’re even watching her that hard. Please work on your insecurities and leave her alone. SMH.


Girl it costs zero dollars to mind your own business not your body not your problem wtf

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Does you BF check her out? I

Him saying something would be wayyyy out of line
She is a grown woman making grown choices and embracing herself. Your bf has no say in that…nor do you.
However if you can’t appreciate it, stay away from them. Don’t travel, visit etc. If you don’t want your kids exposed to it, don’t expose them. But don’t let them have tiktok, YouTube, Netflix or any other streaming device where they may be exposed to individuals wearing what they want that you likely won’t agree with…

Look past someone’s exterior. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Regardless of race, gender, religion the way they dress etc. Get to know them. They may just be a wonderful person that you will miss out on knowing and it becomes your loss. Embrace diversity. Too many judgements in this world. The only judge is your Lord. If she is a mean, nasty, judgemental person(like you appear to be). Then graciously go your own way. We are all different, wanting everyone to have the same beliefs and ways as you will limit your relationships and create a lack of understanding that will eventually cost you.

How is it any of your business how she dresses

Omggggg lol. Let it go. Your issue :100:

Um, she’s a grown woman & free to wear whatever she likes! Ima have to agree with the boyfriend on this one! It’s none of your business how she chooses to dress. Maybe you shouldn’t be so offended by the human body!

Your a girlfriend, Not a wife. And the lady is a grown woman, she can dress how she wants. She isn’t your partner. Don’t take your kids around her if your uncomfortable with it. Or, your an adult too, how about YOU talk to her about it and ask nicely. She doesn’t -have- to change anything

Child you need some real problems :rofl:is she nice to you ? Is she nice to your kids ? Maybe just let it go :heart:

You can’t tell a grown woman what to wear. What’s your problem ? Your causing problems where there shouldn’t be Your boyfriend is right. He doesn’t want to interfere with her dressing problem. If you don’t like it then don’t go around them.

Pretty sure shes a grown ass adult and dress however she wishes. And if youre going to allow how another person outside of your relationship dresses cause issues between ylthe two of you you have more issues than just wanting control. Get a grip and possibly some therapy.

You can not control the way someone else dresses no matter how uncomfortable it makes you.
Honestly, if you are the one feeling uncomfortable the problem is yours!
You sound controlling

Oh… so you want a controlling man, huh? Nah! See, you cannot control others only yourself.

Listen to yourself. You want to control how another person dresses. Stop not picking on the step-mother or his family. You’ll end up a single mom, no boyfriend, nobody.

I probably would refuse to associate with his parents if I really wanted to continue the relationship. However the fact that he doesn’t stand up to his family will not change. This is just a pattern that will carry on in which he would rather please and cater to his original family instead of being a man and demand that his parents respect him, you and the kids. He was probably not taught that this behavior is inappropriate. I would probably have to leave the relationship for my kids sake.


You can’t tell her how to dress

Mind your own business & worry about yourself! She’s a grown ass woman & can dress however she wants. It is not affecting you in any way! If it bothers you so much why don’t you talk to her about it instead of trying to get your boyfriend to talk to his dad?

If he allows that type of thing to be displayed in front of your kids then it’s only going to get worse and it sounds like your feelings don’t matter. Think about that

one day dress as she does se what happens.

She’s a grown woman if she wants to dress that way she can dress that way. And if she is dressing that way she’s embarrassing herself in public.

It’s not your business how she dresses no matter how inappropriate it is. Don’t go around her. And your boyfriend has no business saying anything to his dad either. He prolly likes it…Get over ut


As my daughter would say it sounds like a you problem smh

Yeah you have no say in this in any capacity.

Get over yourself, accept the fact you can’t change her and get along.

For all of you talking about women not bashing each other and then bashing this …I have a question. Do you want to see your grandma’s coochie and tatas? Ewww Women should be able to dress whatever way they want, same as men but there is also a time and place for certain things. You don’t dress in a suit or evening gown to go to the circus and you don’t dress like a hoochie around kids. Decorum and consideration are sorely missing in our world.


You gonna change your style cause your kids girlfriend doesn’t like it? Maybe have a conversation and mention the kids noticing. See what she says but YOU should do it, speak to her directly. It’s not your bf job to relay your opinion and if the husband had an issue with it he wouldn’t have you ‘look’ and I’m sure would put a stop to it himself

You have absolutely no say in how a grown person may dress. Her husband doesn’t have a problem with it. It’s not your business.

If his family makes you uncomfortable, limit contact with them. Dont be around them so much.
If he wants to spend time with family, he can go himself.

If these are not possible, you relationship may not be worth saving

It’s non of your business how she dresses.would you be uncomfortable if it were a stranger?us as woman tend to judge and shame.i refuse to be in that club.good for step mom to feel that comfortable in who she is.its also ok.if you take a more modest approach to dressing.

You know why he won’t stand up cause she’s a grown woman and can dress how she feels just like dress how you want. What a world we live in when a grown woman wants to control how another grown woman dresses. Do you pick your mother clothes out for her?

Be an adult, instead of your boyfriend talking to his dad, you talk to the step mom… its a problem you have and only you, so find a way to express your uneasiness or live with it.

This treatment? She can dress how she wants and maybe your boyfriend couldn’t care less how his step mum dresses and doesn’t want to start a family argument over something that has nothing to do with you. Think of having your son say their girlfriend doesnt like how your partner dresses/acts. She doesn’t have to dress a certain way just for you I’m with your boyfriend he shouldn’t have to speak to his dad about anything

It’s not your place to tell her what she should or shouldn’t wear.

Hahaha when I get old and if I still have it, I’m going to show it. … sorry not sorry

Seriously? Seriously? You think you or anyone else has a right to tell someone how to dress? Seriously? And this is drama? Seriously? We are all out here facing real world problems and you are upset about how someone, an adult, is dressed. And you think her Husband has the right to even dictate that? Stand up to his Dad? Lol. For what? You think his parents treat him bad because of how she dresses? Or that his Dad points it out?

A ho can’t change it’s stripes. Saying something is only going to start drama. Its not the BF fault…

Although the dad pointing and saying “hey look” is pretty f*ckin weird, ngl

Sounds like you’re jealous because his step mum has a nice body and shows it off and you’re worried he’s looking…
If it was his biological mum I bet you wouldn’t have a problem.
And the fact that your children are “uncomfortable” because of what someone else is wearing is very weird.
It’s clothes.
It’s a body.
We all have one.

Honestly your feelings are valid to be upset about it. There’s always a ‘line’ for what you are comfortable to be around. Sounds like she’s pretty revealing about her body. It’s her choice, but don’t be around it if you don’t want to be. If your KIDS are uncomfortable with it prioritize THEM. If THEY don’t want to be around her & whatnot then maybe the relationship isn’t worth it. I want women to wear what they feel comfortable in, but I think around children it should at least be decent. If you saw her in ‘all of her glory’ then how easily could your kids see it at some point?

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You should mind your business if you love this guy. No one anywhere needs to dress a certain way in order to make YOU comfortable.
How could you expect this guy to talk to his dad about how his wife dresses slutty. Good grief. That’s ridiculous expectations to put on him. :roll_eyes::joy:
I hope this post is a joke.

Sorry dude I’m sure it’s awkward but she has every right to dress however she wants

If you are uncomfortable and your children are uncomfortable then you have answered your own question, time to leave.

I can’t believe the amount of “how dare you not want a woman to show her vagina to your children” there is on this post! :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:

Kinda curious to know what everyone would think/say if it was turned around and the dad/step-dad would wear loose clothing to wear you could see his privates, especially around small children. Probably not that he’s a grown man and can dress how he wants, lol.

Do nothing, stop making this your problem. Many women do not feel comfortable with their bodies because of dialogues like this. Worry about yourself because how she dresses is simply not your business.

I can understand not wanting your kids to see her privates. There is no reason that one should be allowing her vagina to be visible, especially when walking up the stairs and children are around. And it’s disgusting her husband would point it out to you as y’all are walking up the steps.

He isn’t talking to her about it because she’s an adult and can dress how she wants. He probably finds it weird u want him the step son to address it making him look like the creeper creeping on step mommy when it’s really you looking

If you don’t like it then don’t go around her.

Why do you think her clothing choice is up to you?

Yes she can wear whatever she wants but at the same time she shouldn’t be so exposed in front of children. It’s called having some form of respect.