My boyfriend and I have been dating for sometime. We get along great and he’s amazing to my kids. They adore him. Problem is his family. His step mom dresses in very provocative clothing to where her breasts and butt hang out her clothing. We went away with his family and as we were walking up a flight of stairs his dad said hey look, pointed up and I of course out of instinct looked and saw her in all their glory. I was shocked but didn’t say anything at the time. Since then when she dresses this way around me and my children it makes me (and them too) very uncomfortable. It’s starting to cause my boyfriend and I issues. He will not stand up to his dad because it’s his dad. He said he will never stand up to him about it. That I should just “bow down” and accept them how they are. I love him with my whole heart. I just can’t stand this treatment. What should I do?
You cannot change how a person is, you can mention something directly to her about it,privately, but do not expect it to go well. If this is a bridge you want to fight over leave before you do
You need to mind ya own business
He’s right u know he doesn’t have to bow down ,agree or disagree but i he has the right to say something in account of the Children.Most of all You and the Children Don’t Have To Be Around her either. They shouldn’t be around Vulgarity and Inappropriatenes
She’s a grown woman she can wear what she wants.
Her husband (your fil) is obviously pleased by her clothing choice and proud, rather than embarrassed, to be pointing it out! I hope my hubby will still think and tell others that I’m hot as we get older!! Relationship goals!!
Unfortunately that’s a matter of opinion on what’s appropriate to wear. Some people believe you have higher self esteem dressing more modestly and that you send a better message to the world. Others believe in embracing openness with their bodies and like to be free spirits. This is not your place mama.
What’s is he supposed to do? He can’t control someone or make them do something they don’t wanna do. So “standing up” to them isn’t gonna do anything but cause a rift in his family. All you can do is talk to her and that’s all
Why not talk to her, woman to woman, and simply ask if she could dress more appropriately when she knows she will be around the kids. If she refuses, just make it clear that you and the kids will not be participating in any outings or get togethers with her. If your boyfriend can’t accept that tell him to kick rocks! Your children’s wellbeing comes first. There’s a reason why there’s age restrictions on strip clubs and movies!
Would you dress differently for her?
I’d have tucked her skirt in and probably said something about wanting to keep breakfast in.
I would certainly not let something like this bug me she is comfortable in her own skin…if I had a beautiful body I won’t hide it …
She can dress however she wants, especially if it’s not causing problems in HER marriage, why in the world would it cause problems in yours? My guess is there is some projecting of personal insecurities here. That’s definitely something you need to work on for yourself. As for the step mom, as much as she is a grown woman, you are as well. And make the choice to be around them. If it’s something you’re uncomfortable with… guess what… don’t go. I mean I’m sure they would have liked to have a family vacation with just their family without drama but they let you and your children come and be involved.
Eeeerrrrrrmmmm you dress yourself don’t you so you wear what you want to wear your boyfriends mum dresses herself so she can wear what she wants. If you dont like it tough put up with it or find a new boyfriend. No one can tell someone else what they can and cant wear. We all have the right to dress in what we feel comfortable in.
It’s amazing that she feels so comfortable in her own skin in a safe environment. You may not think the way she dresses is appropriate but who says what’s appropriate? I would explain to your children that as humans we are individuals who have different taste and we need to accept peoples choices in dress, regardless of whether it is how we would dress. If you don’t want them seeing her naked, don’t go away with them
How she dresses is her decision, if YOU are uncomfortable either don’t look or stay away from her… it’s quite simple.
I agree with the ladies, who have commented before me. It’s her body she can dress however she wants to. If your that uncomfortable about how she dresses stay away.
How about teach your children and yourself apparently to not judge other people by their clothing…your welcome. Go nite nite
I’m confused about the “I can’t stand this treatment”. What treatment? That’s a grown woman. She can and should dress however she likes. No one should have to water themselves down for anyone. It’s not for you to decide what she wears and it’s not for your boyfriend to “stand up” to either of them. There’s nothing to stand up to them about. I could see if she were mistreating you or your children, but that doesn’t sound like the case. Sounds like you’re a little salty that this woman feels confident and comfortable in her own skin. Your children won’t be traumatized or affected in any way. Grow up.
If your uncomfortable with the way someone else is dressing that’s a YOU issue. She’s a grown woman. Its not up to you what she wears.
You do not love him with your whole heart lol you don’t even trust him.
No one can control how someone else dresses. If you are allowing that to get in the way of your relationship, you need to reflect. I understand it may feel uncomfortable, but you have to deal.
She’s a grown woman, you’re meant to be a grown woman. We don’t shame each other for the clothes we wear. You sound jealous or just plain old weird.
MYOB. Not your place or your boyfriends to tell someone how to dress. She’s a grown woman and can dress the way she wants. If it’s inappropriate to you and your children, remove yourselves from the situation or don’t look.
Give her some bike shorts for under her dress like you would a young child when they are learning how to sit and play appropriately in dresses? Might give the hint
Shes a grown woman and is allowed to wear what she wants. Its weird that you care so much & want him to get his dad to say something to her. If you and your kids feel uncomfortable maybe you should exclude yourself.
This is the problem with us as women today… Always in each other business and always looking for the negative instead of uplifting each other!
It’s her clothes, her body and her choice! If she is comfortable wearing clothes like that then let her be, life is too short to be worrying about how people dress!
Live and let live…
If you are worried about your partner looking at her then the problem is with him and you. How she dresses is her business. It doesn’t bother her or your father in law so Maybe refocus on why you dont like it
Bow down my ass. Let someone say that to me and they’ve bouncing right up on out to the curb
You sound ridiculous!
There’s nothing for him fo stand up to his father about though…how she dresses is her choice and no one should have a say in it
You can however decide not to bring your children around her, if you all live together maybe it’s time to change that
Ahh she’s a grown woman and can dress however she likes lmao wtf
Lol…maybe she doesn’t like the way u dress. I’m pretty sure no one needs your permission on how they should dress!!!
You want to tell a grown woman how to dress… The Nerve… ur overstepping and creating unnecessary issues for u and ur bf… her husband loves it and ur creating a YOU issue nothing else… Leave ppl live their own life and live urs… we take too many all things and create a big thing…
Mind your own business and if you feel uncomfortable being around her maybe you should just stay home and go check your Granny Panties
You should mind your business. She can dress however she feels comfortable and you don’t have to like it. That’s ok. What’s not ok is you expecting other people to change who they are to fit who you think they should be! Your kids will see people dressed in a lot less in their lifetime.
Your kids don’t care and it won’t harm any of you. You are an adult. You deal with it and try to figure out why this bothers you so much. I don’t like how a lot of people dress, but I just move along because it doesn’t hurt me or anyone else. It’s okay to have your preferences. You cannot make someone follow them, and in cases like this, let whatever bother you.
How dare she dress the way she wants to dress ,simple if you don’t like her way of dressing then don’t look or don’t be around her,you sound controlling and a touch jealous to me
Uhm. It’s literally nothing to do with you, you have no choice to accept them as they are. Please leave this man alone so he can find someone decent
Who are you to tell another person how they ought to dress!!! Or even scared to say yourself and want your boyfriend to tell his dad to tell his mum!! The problem is yours not hers, if she is happy why should she change if that was a man asking his gf to change it would be called controlling!! You need to appreciate what you have got than judging others for what they wear and if your not happy stay away from her but it could cause problems with your lovely boyfriend
It’s crazy to me how many of you are okay with this woman’s family member walking around with her privates pretty much hanging out for all to see No one wants to see that nonsense. And to the poster, I would just refuse to be seen with them in public anymore, especially with children involved.
In my opinion if this woman’s attire bothers you give him up and find someone else guess step mom enjoys partial nudety
….Sounds too comfortable exposing children to sexuality & sexual predators/abuse/trauma. Any person comfortably exposing their genitals or private areas (not including breasts) is sexually harassing the child. By standing is guilty of such as well If they got caught with their shirt blown up in public that’s an indecency charge. Bcuz it’s not appropriate to expose minors to Who knows what that women’s exposed ur bf too whether she came around when ur bf was young or grown… PROTECT UR BABIES FIRST. A nice man with a nice D that u enjoy should never have red flags passed when there are children involved.
Not your business how she dresses.
I swear, you can’t make this stuff up
This is a YOU issue. She can dress however she likes. That’s none of your business. Your husband should not say a thing, neither should you. Grow up.
Would you accept someone telling you to wear something more modest ? … I thought it was empowering for women to be the sexual object on there terms ?. Just minimise the time you spend with her … there is nothing you can do.
“I can’t stand this treatment”. Your boyfriend should run. Right now. Cause that’s a whole ahh red flag. You’re ridiculous.
She sounds like a character. Maybe she should look in the mirror once in a while. She should dress her age not her shoe size.
How snotty are you hopfully they find out how sneaky and sly you are.
I would tell her to her face that you and your kids are uncomfortable with the way she dresses and you will not bring them around her if she continues to dress that way. You decide what’s appropriate for your own children. If your boyfriend has an issue with it, sucks. Your children are most important here. And it’s very concerning that your boyfriend is speaking to you this way and disrespecting you and your childrens’ feelings. You should never have to ‘bow down’ to what makes you uncomfortable as a mother. That’s complete BS. Shame on him for being so ugly towards you. Stand your ground mamma. Protect your babies at all costs. NO ONE is more important than them.
It obviously doesn’t bother your boyfriends Dad, take no notice, it’s not as if you live with them, just enjoy your relationship.
How is the way she dresses courseing issues with you and your boyfriend, what’s it got to do with you, the problem is not her it’s you if its making you uncomfortable your obv paying to much attention to it, don’t like don’t look simple, maybe try teaching your kids not to judge another person, children to learn from there parents so if there uncomfortable it’s because of you, even if your boyfriend did say somthing to his dad didn’t mean it’s going to change anything his dad obv likes the way she dresses and so does she so why would she change the way she dresses to please you, j wouldn’t change anything about myself to please another person, this is a fight you can’t win, and there is no right or wrong in this situation what’s appropriate to her is obv not to you and that’s fine, I don’t like to
Show everything but I don’t care if another person does,
It’s a YOU issue not her, you sound insecure.
StepMom is a GROWN woman. She can dress as she sees fit. Just like in a regular public setting if it makes you or your kids uncomfortable then don’t look or don’t go around her. Simple. You cannot change how people dress merely because YOU are uncomfortable. People wear bras and underwear aka bikinis at the beach, does that keep you from ever taking the kids to the beach? People wear what they want.
If she has the body let her do it . It’s doesn’t mean your kids are going to follow in their footsteps. I have a cousin who dresses like that but she’s much older and doesn’t have the body for it . I’m only embarrassed because it’s trashy . She has never treated anyone poorly
Yes she can dress however she wants although I do think it’s disrespectful of her to be flaunting herself like that in front of the children. They aren’t her children and I personally would say something.
I think there’s a bit of a control issue here. Your not being “treated “ any way. Your uncomfortable but I really don’t think your kids are. It’s none of your business what the parents do. Keep your own yard clean and stop looking up. Let her be the last one to climb the stairs
So He’s supposed to tell his Dad to tell his Wife how to dress? I’d not walk behind her upstairs after that. Like ok saw her lady bits mental note do not walk behind her upstairs if she got a dress on. Cleavage and bootie cheeks though let her enjoy it while she can.
Talk to your kids about it …let the woman be herself…you will be out of line if you do…follow your boyfriend’s advice…
You should mind your own damn business, how she dress is not your problem .
Your bf should run away from someone like you, I’m glad that he stay in his place unlike you
The audacity to think you should get to dictate how other people dress. Get over yourself.
I think this is a YOU issue. Maybe address why you find it uncomfortable rather than project your judgement on to her. Also your kids are probably only uncomfortable about it because you keep mentioning it??
None of your business how anyone else is dressed
It’s clear that yall are missing the part where it also makes her children uncomfortable. I would ask that she cover the parts that make her kids inappropriate when they are around. Or just don’t take them around.
They Better be glad I’m not the children’s Mother
It is none of your business how other adults dress. That is YOUR shit to deal with not theirs. Pull your head in and wake up to yourself.
U mind your own business. Who r u to say what she can and can’t wear. Don’t like it, don’t be around her. But u damn sure can’t control her choices. You need to just shut up n grow up. I feel sorry for your boyfriend.
Maybe I dress too inappropriate being a single mother to a 5 and 3 year old… or maybe it’s none of your business how other woman decide to dress. Sounds like a YOU issue. Not her.
Your gonna leave him over how his step mom dresses? Lmao. Sounds like he’s better off without you .
It’s not your body not your choice. Once upon a time you could’ve submitted her to what not to wear. I will say ruining your relationship over something you can’t control isn’t fair for yourself or your boyfriend.
If the conversation ever comes up with her you could try to help her see that she doesn’t need to dress that way to be beautiful. But I wouldn’t go seeking that conversation with her.
But other than that you just need to let it go or limit how often you are around them. Sounds to me like there are some insecurities within yourself if you’re that bothered and it’s causing issues in your relationship.
You can mind your own business
We can never control others… we can only control ourselves
I agree. Birds of a feather flock together. And who you are with reflects on you. I wouldn’t want to be around that either. But I wouldn’t make her change because you don’t like it. I simply wouldn’t be around it.
Dude im.sorry but WHAT??? Ur issue is with how spmeone elses dresses themselves??? I have the best advice for u…dont look at her.
run run as fast as you can…this will not end well
Umm she should be able to dress however she wants. Her husband or anyone else should not have a say of what she does or does not wear.
How would you feel if the tables were turned. It’s not your place or his to tell someone how they should dress. If you don’t like it don’t look or avoid get togethers. Entitlement at its finest.
Shr is a grown woman who can dress how she wants. It is not up to your boyfriend or his dad, or even you to dictate how she dresses. They way you feel, is a you issue…not her issue.
He can’t force her to dress differently. She is an adult whom chooses to dress as she wishes. How she dresses is between her and her husband. If it bothers you so much, you need to find another partner, because evidently he isn’t your type
You can’t stand "this treatment "??? You’re the one that thinks you can control how a grown woman dresses. Lol. Your bf can’t do anything about that. That’s literally not any of his business. There’s nothing he can stand up to his dad about. If you don’t like how she dresses than don’t hang out with her.
Your kids are behaving as you teach
They should be being taught people don’t all dress the same and deserve same respect.
I wear revealing clothing at times, my kids and all else love me for me not my clothing.
I’d say it’s a you problem. She’s obviously confident in her skin, maybe you’re not so confident, or is it because it’s round your partner and you feel he’s looking so jealousy?
You’ll be creating issues in the relationship by trying to control others. It’s a very toxic trait so is being judgemental and actually you’re basically body shaming a woman as she is confident in her own skin.
First off your the GIRLFRIEND. You dont even have a say. Imagine a girlfriend trying to tell a wife how to act. You would get checked and quickly. Unless you all are living with them and your around it 24/7 and even then you don’t have anything to say. Pick your battles and choose them wisely.
Insecurities can be a b****. Kinda sounds a little controlling. Plus I’m super confused as to why this would cause a problem in your relationship. It’s not cool to be a mean girl anymore. Just hype the girl up and leave it be. I honestly love seeing women dress the way they want no matter the age, shape, or size. More power to her. I think you might have some deeper issues towards yourself that you might want to work through.
She can dress how she wants you sound controlling.
Look, a grown woman trying to police someone else’s body. If you don’t like it, maybe you should reevaluate yourself. She shouldn’t have to water herself down to please you. ￼
Unfortunately, she’s a grown woman
It kind of sounds like you are insecure with yourself and your relationship.
She’s a grown up and can dress how she wants. How would you feel if your husband told you to dress different bc his step mom didn’t like it
Sounds like a you issue. She is a grown as women she can wear whatever she likes
How bout nothing it’s her body
How she dresses is none of your business. I think you just don’t want your boyfriend looking at her. (Weird to even think he would since that’s his stepmom). It’s not like yall live with them.
You’re incredibly insecure, to the point you want to control how another woman dresses.
Well, he’s a boyfriend and not a husband, and how his step-mother dresses is not in your control, or your boyfriend’s. He wants to keep peace with his family. You can opt out of being with her, without being judgemental.
Mind your own buisness . Good LORD!! You have personal problems.
“ I just cant stand this treatment “ what is exactly is she doing to you? If you don’t like it don’t go around. But don’t cause drama in your relationship over something you can’t control or that has nothing to do with you. Are they nice to you? Do they treat you nice? Well…… then definitely learn to let things go. At least try.
I’m sorry, but I’m gonna go against the general consensus here. I don’t think it’s appropriate to dress that way in front of children. I don’t care what somebody wants to wear any other day/time, but if you’re going to be around children, you should not have every part of your body showing. It’s also weird for the dad to have pointed it out. Don’t force people into being involved in the things that get you off. I don’t know how anyone can sit here and think that any of that is normal or appropriate. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking her if she can just dress a little more modestly around the kids, or just choosing to no longer go around his parents. There’s a difference between dressing sexy and dressing in a way that looks trashy, too, by the way. Idk why people are so focused on being tolerant and empowering women, that we can’t even acknowledge that there is a difference and a point where it’s taken too far and/or the wrong place wrong time. I’m sure all of the women defending this wouldn’t be defending it if some man exposed himself to their children.
Honestly you have no say in how a grown woman chooses to dress. She’s not even hurting anyone this seems to be an insecurity issue that you have which you should really try and work through.
I find it weird that the dad would tell his son to look at his partner that’s what I find inappropriate lol
Youre kind of TA here. You aren’t being treated poorly and you’re causing unnecessary drama. He can’t control what she wears and neither can his father.
We are all unique! If you cannot accept/ tolerate her, then move on! You will never be happy or accepting, of his family! Not everyone will think and be as perfect as you!