The other day I contacted my hubby’s first wife on Facebook because I am worried about some of his habits. She said he emotionally and financially traumatized her and since she’s finally getting over it, she couldn’t help me. I understand her feelings, so I didn’t push it. Now, I’m worried about both types of trauma because it seems they are starting to happen. What should I do?
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Coming from someone who wishes their new ex’s husbands wife would have contacted them prior to marrying that man, I think that was super smart on her part not to discuss the things that happened but to at least tell you that much. I had to go to therapy to help cope with what happened in my marriage and now I’m the same way, I don’t wanna talk about particulars but I wished I could have warned her before they got married.
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She didn’t want to discuss the stuff because she didn’t want you to go tell your husband because she knew what type of person was and she didn’t want him harassing her for telling you. Now if you’re seeing the same signs and you feel like it’s starting to happen to you then I highly suggest you make a plan to leave before it gets worse.
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I am a domestic abuse survivor and I’m here to tell you that you may need to think of an escape plan, so to speak. If you feel you need to get out then start saving. Keep a bank account he has no knowledge or access to. Make your own money and keep full control. Don’t share payment stubs with him either.
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What are these types of habits!? This is such a blank post- without knowing the meat of the problem its so hard to give situable advice.
I know had I’d contacted my husband’s ex wife- I would have heard exactly what a horrible monster he was and is and that I should run He is nothing what she would subscribe.
If its financial issues- always have a separate bank account for your pay cheques. Keep your monies separate, we don’t have money issues however my husband and I have our own accounts and an account we place our respected amounts in regards to bills in. If you don’t work, look at finding a part-time or even full time job. That way you have a means to support yourself and aren’t relying on him.
Mental Health? it a drug problem? Abusive?
Really depends whats all going on, on how you proceed. I wish you all of the luck.
You can only go by whats happening in YOUR relationship, sometimes"ex’s like to poison the well, if you see definate signs then act upon that
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If you made that phone call and this post I’m pretty sure you already know what you need to do. Good luck
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It’s CRAZY you would even listen to the word of a ex wife 
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Open a bank account without his knowledge and have your paychecks or part of it direct deposited into them. No paystubs. You’ll also need to hide your bank card from him and check paperless statements.
Red flag…leopards and spots…
he traumatized his ex & showing that behavior to you. RUN! Emotional trauma is difficult to recover from. The longer you’re subjected to it the harder it is to cover. If you have no place to go go to a DV shelter. What you’re going through is abuse.
Sounds like you’ve gotten a heads up. I’d leave before it gets any worse if you’re already seeing signs of it. You have the chance now before the hell starts.
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Save yourself a lot of headaches and pain and RUN !!!
Start putting your paychecks into your own account and leave.
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Yikes. Lots of wrongs here.
You know what to do. Get out now.
Get out before he destroys you
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