I am upset that I won't ever get to have a natural birth again: Advice?

Having a emergency c-section is a life death situation I too wanted a natural birth however something’s in life dont happen the way we want.I am so happy my son is here and I am here and that’s all that matters

I think you are just stupid! In life you have gat to be thankful cuz their are women out there looking for kids and wouldn’t mind birthing them through their asses. Girl bye!


It’s possible. I had my first child csection my second and third were vbacs. I wish all the best and a healthy son!

Wow my mom had a c section with me… and I’m pregnant with my first but I’m mainly petrified of being cut open. That’s petty that you want vaginally birth only :angry::angry:

You know there’s many many women who can’t have kids! Period!!


I was never supposed to have kids, so the Dr told me, but I was blessed and ended up pregnant. When I went into labor and they broke my water, my son had had a bowel movement. I had to have an emergency c-section. I thank God that therr is such thing as a c-section because my son would have died!! When they pulled him out, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice. I’m very offended by a woman that thinks this way about c-sections. Some of us are grateful for our children no matter how they came into this world or what gender they are!!!

Oh my gosh, cry a damn river. You didn’t fail. Get over it. C-sections happen. Doesn’t make you any less.

Just be lucky you were able to birth a baby naturally at all. I only had csections and talk about feeling like a failure. I’ve never even felt a contraction I have no knowledge of what it feels like to bring your own baby into this world. Sorry you didn’t have the birth of your choice but it doesn’t change the fact that you are a mother!! No matter how your baby came into this world. All that matters is a healthy child. Hope you get your boy!


MANY women have vaginal births after a Csection. Just because you had to have one doesnt rule out a natural birth .


Hey people , enough with the nasties… nothing g nice to say ? Say nothing .
This lady asked a question ,she didnt ask to be ridiculed…

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Just because you have a C-section 1 time doesn’t mean you will have another one after. You can have a regular birth afterwards. I did …it depends on your doctor and your body.

The Dr said you could try naturally if you wait 18 months to heal. Don’t hate if you won’t wait.

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Giving birth is a beautiful powerful experience! I can understand wanting to feel that again! I have never had a c section, but I’m sure the healing time is awful, but you’re not a failure! You did what you had to to protect your baby and yourself! I hope you have the opportunity to have that experience again! But if you don’t, just know that one way or the other, the only thing that matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mama! Best of luck!

I always hear this from me that if you gave birth via c section you are not woman enough, never I’ll hear say this because she knows what’s happens in that labour ward. I have a son through c section and I dont care how he was born, what matters is he is healthy and I am ok. Enjoy your kids and stop worrying about something that some ladies would give anything to have a child


Do what the dr. tell you

And can I just say women who have c sections are way badder than mamas who have natural births. Slicing your body open to ensure the safety of your baby is bad ass.


I’m sure the women who are struggling to have children or who are told they can never have children would take your c section any day…be grateful


I am not able to have children. At all. I was never able to get pregnant, and in 2012 I had to have a hysterectomy due to medical reasons. The day of my surgery was the most devastating day of my life. I will never have the chance to give birth to my child and be a mother. That is a precious gift God gives women and I will leave this life never having experienced that.
I’m sorry about your traumatic experience

Be glad you can even have babies no matter how you birth them. This is so unfair to people who would give anything to have a baby. Stop whining you make me sick!


Wow. At least you can still get pregnant naturally… There are females who can’t anymore… Females who have to go to a fertility center. Females who once got pregnant naturally and now have to do this whole procedure … I’m 31 and got pregnant naturally with twins years ago, had an emergency c-section… Of course I’d love to give birth naturally, have the same experience as other moms. But fast forward to now - I got told two months ago that I’ll never get pregnant naturally ever again… At this point I didn’t care whether it would be a c-section again or naturally since I just can’t get pregnant the normal way again. Need to to do fertility treatment and the chance of it being successful at the first try is low… Besides if you don’t let your scar heal properly you can have complications. Because your belly will grow and therefore the scar will be stretched. And whether it’s going to be another c-section or not- you should be grateful that you can get pregnant naturally and give birth at all… Give your Body the time to heal that it needs…


You just need a Xanax

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I’m sad for the children you already have…


That’s a huge trauma , an emergency c section.
No wonder you’re not at all keen! I hope you can have your baby naturally if you can .
But if a c section brings your baby into the world without stress and trauma , that’ would be the best result
I had a planned c section, due To physical issues and although I was scared , my baby was born very quickly and quietly and she was alive and healthy and so was I
Push or Zip
Heres to you your wee baby x baby x

Boy poor Woman who posted her feelings and was slam by people. People feel what they feel. And everyone has a write to feel what they feel.


This was so painful too read and made me very angry! I can’t believe the post! So many women cannot have children as well as those who have had to deal with still birth, sids, and unhealthy babies not too mention mothers who have died during childbirth!!! Truly the most selfish thing I have read in a long time!!! You are complaining about having to have had a C-section when you have already had two natural births and that experience. My mother had 3 C-sections with all of us and was just thankful to have healthy babies! I am currently pregnant myself and if I can have it vaginally great if not no problem that’s what C-sections were made for. All I care about is my child being healthy and safe! SMH some people I swear!! Be thankful you have 3 healthy beautiful children!

Jesus people, her birth plan was completely turned upside down unexpectedly and she’s upset. People are allowed to feel how they feel even if it isn’t how you feel. I’ve never in my life seen such hateful comments on a page that is supposed to be dedicated to celebrating womanhood. She wanted to vent for Pete’s sake. What’s up with people nowadays? Holy moly. I’m sure I’ll catch hell for even insinuating that we should be nice. But dang y’all… this was sad to read. The world is sad enough already. I guess this is how we decided we’re gonna add to it :woman_shrugging:

I have sat here and read all these post fussing at this woman - why she just wants to express her fears and hopefully someone will ease her mind we are women and should stand beside each other I say to you do what your heart tells you and what is medically safe you will make the right decision


C section isnt less meaningful than natural, vice versa. You sound hella selfish and ungrateful. Grow up and be thankful you even had the opportunity to have another child, or better yet be thankful there was another way to get the baby out safely. Expand your mind a little, you’ll see it makes you look less ignorant.


You don’t have to wait 18 months you should but you don’t have to. For various reasons. The longer you wait though the more likely you are to find a doc that would let you try to birth naturally i know plenty of women who have done it… But even if you aren’t able to i get it however do not lose sight have that face that you have already have two naturally that’s awesome in itself. You aren’t a failure shit happens sometimes c sections are inevitable. But it doesn’t make you less of a women or mother.

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You should just wait the 18 months. At least you can still have another if you want. You did acknowledge the fact that it isn’t the same as not being able to, so it’s probably best to just focus on the positives. Listen to your doctor, its way unsafe to rush through just because you don’t want to wait. Give your body some time to heal!


I’m so sorry you have to read all these horrible comments. You are allowed to feel these things. Maybe you could join some VBAC groups on facebook so that people who have gone/are going through the same as you, can give you some advice and share their stories, without all the hatred and judgmental crap you’re getting from here.


Did you have same OBGYN for vaginal birth as the C section doctor

I would say wait the 18 months, but you never know what is in store. Yes, it is disappointing, and I’d rather have a vaginal birth any day. My 10th deliver was an emergency C-section. She’s here by the grace of God and an amazing fast-acting OB. Her cord prolapsed, the dr shoved her hand in my and held my daughter off of her cord. If I, the OB or the baby moved she was dead. She’s 4. Disappointment sucks, but would you trade it.

Sweetheart, you just gave birth. Give your body, mind and soul a bit to heal. A c-section is not a failure. You are not a failure.


I wanted a natural birth and ended up having to have an emergency csection he was my first. It was taken out of my hands I’d never ever had an operation or had to stay in hospital before so that was massive for me too. I was so proud of myself and I’m just so glad my little boy got here safe. I know what your saying by you felt like a failure and stuff but sometimes things are taken out of our hands … I’d do it all again tomorrow if I had to. Let your body heal and if you really want to try again then do so. :blush:

“If we want to have a son” - first of all you are not guaranteed it’s going to be a boy next time round and secondly even if you did wait the 18 months-what if the next baby is breach? Or gets stuck? And emergency c sec is the safest way.
It is what it is.
Aslong as your baby arrives safely is what matters.


I only had one child. I had to have a C-section because she was breech; butt first. If I hadn’t had a C-section; she would have died during birth. She was born perfect. Just because you have a C-section doesn’t mean that you didn’t give birth.

Stop being so ungrateful


Food for thought. I lost a baby at 30 weeks. I did the whole vaginal birth. I bled out right after and had to have an emergency hysterectomy. Had I had a c section I wouldn’t have lost my ability to have babies. I have no kids now so really I don’t want to hear this bullshit

She enjoys the more natural connection to birth of feeling her baby being delivered. Through all the pain, blood sweat and tears. Theres nothing wrong with that. Yes she had a csection and many mothers get a bit upset when their birthing plans change. She wasnt prepared or ready for a emergency c section and she IS grateful for her baby. Loves her all the same. Doesnt make her selfish for being a little upset that she possibly cant birth naturally ever again. She also did state that she knows many women cant have babies and that she feels bad about that. She wasnt meaning to hurt or judge anyone. Shes a parent who’s birthing plans went wrong. Any of you I’m sure would be a little upset if your plans went wrong. In the end shes happy her baby is out and safe and I’m sure the rest of you would feel the same as well. So really who’s being more selfish the mom who just had been told she might not deliver her kids anymore unless by csection to which scares a lot of people shitless. Or the women here judging someone for being scared of that even though she fully understands what her situation is and means. Think about that for a second. So many of you jumped to judge someone without really taking in what she is saying. Csection or natural you are still giving birth and you’re still a mother. Stop being judgmental bitches and support her. Every woman faces fears of birth and complications. A lot of women cant have kids that’s true but she didnt direct it to anyone. She was just expressing her fears and her situation. Doesnt make her a bad mom or person. IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY DONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!!

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I had an emergency c section myself, when my daughter was born almost 9 years ago. She’s getting so big… Makes me so small as a momma lol. My water broke when I was in the hospital already, but my heart rate dropped dangerously fast to the point that I could die so there was no choice. I wasn’t even awake, they put me to sleep entirely… My daughter was already 2hours old when I woke up so I didn’t feel like I was even there… I didn’t experience anything and it really broke my heart… I understand the fact that you’d rather have a natural birth, I really do and I feel so sorry for you that you cried the entire time. I also get the fact what you said about at least being able to give birth and that so many can’t even have children… I gave birth to a stillborn baby at 21 weeks pregnant, June 2016. There’s something wrong with my body, which makes the change of me ever having a baby again very small, almost impossible. It’s still unimaginably hard for me to accept that, I’m crazy about kids… All your kids are healthy, and the way they come alive is not that important. It’s about the life they get to live. Birth is just the start, not the journey.

Over reaction for sure. I had both of my children natural but if it was csection. Oh well. As long as my baby & I were healthy!
Whats the problem waiting 18 months?
I don’t understand why anyone wants to get pregnant right away.
Personally give that baby so time to at least walk.
When ppl have them back to back. I’ve always felt taken away form the other. not time for that one to just be. baby. Cause your rushing that one to reach milestones. Cause will have another to take care of.
Instead of the birthing process. Just enjoy and spend quality time with this baby.
There are plenty of people who want more but can’t afford or have any!
Wait the 18 months and Quit Pisting and Moaning !

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You do realise there are women out there who can’t physically give birth naturally,so have to have c-sections,it’s still giving birth,it doesn’t matter how your baby comes into the world as long as they arrive safely,it doesn’t make you less of a mom. If you can’t handle the possibility of another c-section then maybe you’re not ready emotionally for another baby yet. It could happen again,it’s always a possibility


With my c-section I felt her come out it doesn’t matter what hole they come out . She now almost 23 and we couldn’t be closer. She was my miracle baby. If they had not taken her she may not have made or I. Not one day did it make me feel less of a mom. God granted me a healthy baby no matter how she came out.

FAN Question you ungrateful bitch. First of all all my children were born by C-section due to an emergency and the kind of i of indecision that I had to have I am just as natural a mother as you my body carried that child just as well as yours did and besides all of that what are you saying to your daughters that they’re not good enough that you have to have a son you’re 32 years old there’s so many things could go wrong having children after that age to begin with be blessed with the children that you already have as some. people out there cannot have them!!!

I had three c sections. That does not make me a failure and it’s disappointing that your life experiences make you believe that you are just that. You are young. 18 months will go quickly. That said, natural birth or c section isn’t it about the safe arrival of your baby. Maybe make that your main focus and how bub is delivered may become irrelevant


I do hope you get some emotional help.
Sounds like post partum depression. Or even psychosis (considering this is about the fantasy you have about the next one will be a perfect birth, it Must happen immediately, no matters cost to tour own health. Sounds like you are ignoring the actual children you have bc you are obsessed with a fantasy AND you blame yourself.)
That’s a setup for a very bad mental break, if you dont get PROFESSIONAL help.

Bc you arent a failure for giving birth via c-section.
It is a problem that you feel you self worth is tied to how you give birth.
Especially since you want to disregard everything the doctor told you for a the fantasy of some picture perfect birth moment…

Might sound harsh, but the focus needs to be on making sure you are healthy and that the kids are healthy.

Someone taught you a very warped since of motherhood.
Or you or your husband developed this idea on your own.
That only the ritual matters, and not the actual birth and the child.

Child birth is one moment out out their lives.
Why are only focused on that moment?
Not the child, or the other children you have, or even your own health … even to the point of saying f*ck what the doctor says about waiting.

Why can’t you wait?
What’s the obsession with immediate and back to back child births?

It’s time to talk with someone.


Surely it shouldn’t be about the journey into the world, it should be the journey through life of the child?

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Bc these feelings need to be dealt with.

A moment of sorrow, fine.
This is an obsession that is even putting her life at risk.
What if the next one is breech? What if the next one is also a girl?
Is she going to continue to push them our every year until she managed to have a boy vaginally?
What if she has a boy, but his c-section?

Do y’all want the woman to get honest advice?
It would you all rather we pat her on the head while she tumbles down this unhealthy rabbit hole with the obsession of hers??


Never and waiting 18 months are not the same thing. .
Why the obsession with doing it right now?

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Some of you people are fucking monsters. You’re all basically screaming that other people have it worse so she can’t be upset things didn’t go as planned. It’s like saying oh you lost your foot well that guy has no legs so you have no right to be sad.
Guess what everyone get to feel however they fucking like without wankers like you beating them down for feeling like that. You people make me sick. I’m getting out of this toxic nasty mess before I get more pissed off


It is fine to be disappointed. I guess the question comes down to what do you want more? The joy of raising another child. Or the experience of natural childbirth.

Life throws us obstacles all the time. We can be resentful that we didnt get what we wanted, how we wanted…or we adapt. I dont really think this has as much to do with the mode of birth as how you feel about yourself. You are fully a mother and have earned that regardless of how you bring a child into this world. Perhaps instead of focusing on what you’re missing, focus instead on what you have to gain.

Good luck and best wishes.

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Someone else needed to hear this woman’s story…i truly hopes she gets the healthy son she wants and the natural birth she desires :heart:

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Wait. Give your body a chance to heal. And having a c-section does not make you less of a woman. I apologize in advance, but the way you worded your question makes it appear that you romanticize childbirth. You might want to get some professional help. I hope you get your boy but when you do, remember you have 3 daughters who will need you just as much as your son.


Wow what a supportive group from people based on the little info the Op gave.

  1. I knew from day one id have to have a c section. And yet some days and after birth I felt like I failed and I missed something I could never have. Id read and read and knew I could do a natural birth but my doctor disagreed because of health. My baby was 7 weeks early due to pre eclampsia and I felt like it was my fault no matter how many times I was told it was not. Your are entitled to feel how you feel and just because someone else thinks its wrong to feel that way the fact is you do. The feeling will start to lessen with time.
  2. Wanting another child because you want a boy is your business. And im sure you have other reasons for wanting another child that you did not share with us. As long as your able to have another and are in a place in life then do it. If you have the means to care for another then have one. As to waiting or not that is something only you can answer. If you can go through a c seastion and be ok then do it sooner if having natural is really important then wait. I wish you luck and hope you feel better. If you ever need someone to talk to my ears are always open and I’m in no way judgemental. Oh and I cant have anymlre kids and yojr post in no way ofended me.

Gul…this is petty to be upset about. Some people can’t even have children. Be grateful you had a healthy baby. You sound baby crazy…You probably need professional help.


I had my 2 daughters completely natural. I took absolutely nothing! It was by far the most excruciating pain I’ve ever had. With my 2nd child, I tried to get my Dr. to give me an epidural, but he said, you’ve done this before, you don’t need anything. By the time it took effect the baby will already be here. It offends me today that Dr’s schedule delivery dates if you choose to forego natural birth, because I don’t ever think you can really ever truly experience or appreciate the true tears and joy until you go through it that way. With that being said, it doesn’t make any difference. The outcome is the same. You’ve done this before. Be thankful you got to experience it, as some women never do! Just pray for a healthy baby, and you’ll be fine. Wishing you the best!

Wait the 18 months. Not just so you can try for a vbac but because your body needs that time to heal. I didn’t wait and I almost had to have a C-section again due to the placenta trying to grow over my cervix. Baby and I could have both bled out. Luckily in time the placenta moved just enough. It had something to do with the scar

I was lucky enough that after my first baby was born via c section babies 2 and 3 were VBAC and I didn’t wait long enough and my uterus was so thin that it put my life and the baby life in danger and I was told no more babies. Side note you want a healthy mom and baby when all is said and done so how they come into the world in the end does not matter.
Side aide note… My labor and recovery was so much harder with baby 2.

How is a baby being cut out of your womb not being birthed through your body… The stigma around c sections is ridiculous.


Wait the 18 months. It will be better for your body and baby. Just because you had a c-section doesn’t mean you can give birth naturally. My first child was a c-section and my other children were VBAC. Be patient and take in the blessings of a healthy baby

A c-section is harder to heal from also. The baby is still being birthed from your body. I guess i don’t understand the issue. Why would a vaginal birth make you closer to your baby? Why would anyone feel shame foe a cesarean birth? I have much more respect for a woman who has had to have a cesarean. The pain in healing is so much harder as I seen my daughter go through this.

You have to decide yourself whether a natural birth is more important than the age gap between your children. I have had both and I would make my decision based on the safest way. I couldn’t breastfeed as my youngest was a preemie, so I never got the chance. But I am grateful he survived though, so I suppose it comes down to what’s important to you.

I cant even fall pregnant again be thankful

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Ungrateful is an understatement !!!


Yep, definitely didnt feel like a failure for having a c section.

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3 kids is enough so stop there also this is an odd thing to be upset over


Ladies you do know it have men who tell women who had c sections they aren’t “real woman” because they didn’t give birth naturally. maybe somebody told her she is less of a woman. Also dearie you do know what surgery means right? They cut you open. OPEN I say hold off on making another. Heck if The nurses hear you doing th nasty after surgery they might cuss. Girl you need to rest not even move.

  1. Having a c-section is still giving birth through your body.
  2. Give your body time to heal and then go for that fourth baby.

I had my first baby at age 32 and my second at age 37. Both were c-sections. I’m just so thankful I have two wonderful healthy girls: my Ladybug (10 yo) and my Butterfly (6 yo) :heart::heart:

It’s ok to be upset. Everyone has different experiences and things that upset them. Exspecially after a complicated birth. Pregnancy and birth can be a rollercoaster of emotion. Just don’t get stuck in the sadness and such.
If the doctor says to wait 18months, I would listen. I had a C-section too with my only child. It’s major abdominal surgery that requires a lot of healing and time. Try too early and your uterus could rip open during labor. No one wants that to happen. Doc is trying to give you info for the best chance at having the vbac you want. Listen and be patient.
Also know, that having a C-section doesn’t make you or your birth less than. It’s not a failure. It saved your life and your baby’s life. That’s an accomplishment and wonderful. Just take some deep breaths and try to calm down. It’s going to be ok. You did great!

I would seak and speak with a doula, stay out of hospital settings. There are great forums out there. i would dabble in the “unassisted” world.

I had all three of mine c section. They were all breach. Sometimes I feel like it wish I had that experience. A lot of women end up with an experience that they didn’t expect. It happens. I say do what you feel is best for you

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I encourage you to find a licensed midwife experienced in VBAC birthing! It is definitely possible and beautiful!


Ive been pregnant 4 times but only have one child. I almost died doing it vaginally and would have welcomed a C-section.

I hope you can wait the 18 months that’s not long.
I had an emergency c section on my first child and I almost died.
I had a planned c section with my second he almost died.
I am grateful for my children and my life.
We stopped playing with death.
I went through a time it was hard to be grateful, for I never birthed a child.
Keep exploring why it bothers you, in the end as I processed this info, it was my ego.
Let go enjoy your motherhood, everyone’s is different.

I had all 3 of mine C-Section. My last child i wanted to try VBAC, but my doctor discouraged me from doing it that way. I will never know what it feels like to have a child the normal way and at times it does bother me. I’m too old now to have children.

Birth is about loving the children you have regardless if there boys or girl … being able to have a baby is a gift and that gift is to be loved and cherished, no doubt you do but please tread carefully as you don’t want your children growing up thinking that you would have preferred one of them to be a boy … no one has that say and every gift of a baby is worth much more then feeling lost about a natural birth or having a certain gender … you have a family build around that instead of worrying about what if, it’s time wasted that can never be caught again and as you get older one day you will realise this … I just hope you don’t destroy what you already have … as your family and you are priceless … big hugs take care x

Expectations ruin so many things …

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Wait and be thankful she is healthy and with you!!

Wow all the negativity on this post is plain sad! What happen to women building each other up instead of tearing them down. I had an emergency c section with my youngest and literally was depressed for some time because i wasnt able to have a vaginal birth. I felt like a failure. People are entitled to there own feelings doesnt mean you have to be a shitty human being and make them feel worst.

OMG, your baby is alive…

I had 2 c-sections and recovering from them is a heck of lot more work than from a vaginal delivering and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them - the point is you had a healthy child with no complications due to having it - and why wouldn’t you just wait 18mths. to get pregnant again to be able to do what you want doesn’t make much sense to me but it’s your life and remember every child no matter what the gender is gift given from GOD.


Give your body a rest…I’m sure that your doctor is giving you instructions because he knows the complications that can occur. Be thankful for what you have.

I had 4 children by c section and thn a natural birth. I always wanted a natural birth.it csn b done

It’s never easy when our birth plan doesn’t go the way we want. Its understandable to be sad about how your body will handle any future pregnancy/birth. Itll take time but you’ll come to terms with i.

I had 2 natural births after a csection.

I think you should wait, regardless.

You’ve just had a baby. Your body as a whole, needs time to recover.

Just be easy on yourself.

I have 3 children​:blue_heart::sparkling_heart::blue_heart: all c-sections. Between my last 2 sections there is 10 months. The agony I felt whilst carrying my last was so immense I couldn’t walk properly my insides felt like they were going to burst out my stomach, i bled a lot, and was told I could miss carry.I was monitored every 2 weeks as my insides had not had chance to heal proplerly. My consultant was disgusted that I’d got pregnant again​:woman_facepalming:t2::roll_eyes: but everything was fine I had my final baby at 36+4 (had my tubes clipped at the same time)I had him at 08.36 and was home by 3:30 the same day. Had no problems with the healing. I wasn’t given a choice of VBAC as there was only just 10 months so it wasn’t possible apparently! Doesn’t make you any less of a mother if you have to have a section, your body is still going through a tough time to deliver your baby… as long as the baby is delivered safely and healthy I wouldn’t care how they were delivered.
My advice would be to definitely wait the 18 months from experience lol you also have your other children to think about. If it wasn’t for my mum I wouldn’t of coped xx

the more vaginal births you have the earlier you will have bladder leak issues…let your body heal and thank god for the babies you have now. If in a year you still want another, then by all means but don’t do it just to have a vaginal birth. BTW…not all births following a C-section are C-section. I think you need to examine why the vaginal birth is so important, seems you are obsessed with it over the baby itself. I find it strange that it’s more important than your baby, congrats on that. smh

I had 3 c-sections. I never felt less than a woman because I didn’t have them naturally. As long as they were healthy that was all that mattered.