I am struggling being a mom

Being a mother is by far the hardest thing. I thought I was doing good but now, I don’t think so. My daughter who’s 8.5 whines when I tell her to do a chore. Now I’m seeing things about reasoning capable kids which I definitely didn’t do that. My son who’s 6 has been having the worst attitude ever. I’m not sure what happened to my sweet little boy. I just want to raised my kids the best way as possible. Our family night is literally order food, and watch a movie (on dads day off). I’ve been struggling being sad, all these chores, everything lays on me(as we all do as mothers) that I don’t take my kids to the park, i push myself so hard to even take them for a walk. any tips or advice on how to humble my kids, how to be a gentle parent. What are your traditions you’d like to share? What does your schedule look like with the kids on a daily basis. I want my kids to learn a lot, what does it look like for them to be good in school. Like do homework with them daily, read and more?

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What is a gentle parent?!? All my kids (3), keep their rooms & bathrooms clean, I don’t allow toys or any of their stuff in the living room, after every meal each kid clears their plate/glass, rinses & put it’s in the dishwasher. I take away electronics/outings when they don’t pick up after themselves & I make sure to stick to the consequences. My husband & kids help maintain a clean house so all the chores don’t fall just on me. My kids don’t have certain chores that they do but just by them picking up after themselves helps me a ton.

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First off, you aren’t only one raising them. Stop taking on all the burden. Sounds like Dad needs to help more with them. Second, you sound like you might need to see counselor to reassure yourself you are doing best you can.

First thing is#1…Don’t reward bad behavior
#2 dishes, laundry, housework will always be there; the children grow up; go to the park or for a walk with them…

Seems to me that you have been parenting gentle enough for them to be behaving that way.
Been a mom is not easy , and I think most all us have felt that way.The good thing is that they still little ( so they are not a lost cause )start implementing rules like , cleaning and organizing their rooms , picking up after themselves, little things like this will help you to keep your place more organize and clean .
Put a stop right away when they disrespect you.
You should actually Ben helping them with their homework, ask them every day about what they learned , check theirs binders etc .
Settle a routine can also help a lot .
And let them pick something to do when they behave good , like go to the park , eat out at their favorite place ,etc .

I was told once the fact that I worry about whether I’m messing it all up, shows I’m not a bad mom. So please we all make mistakes and that’s a fear we all have, stop being so hard on yourself. However, my best advice is two things routine and sticking to whatever you say. So only say things you mean (like don’t say things like won’t go to the amusement park if you don’t vacuum the floor, unless you are prepared to punish the whole family for that). Be prepared occasionally though to hear I hate you and you’re ruining my life.

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I’m a very strict mama and gentle parent. Put the gavel down. My children don’t whine about chores or have an attitude towards me or anyone because I discipline when necessary. You have to teach your children responsibility and discipline or you will become the doormat.

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The fact you’re worrying tells me you’re a good mom! Best advice - be consistent set boundaries. Don’t ever give in to whining. Every day is a new day start fresh. Remember you are in charge and take one step at a time.

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Take a breath momma first and for most. Your doing a great job regardless!!! Rewards program for chores dad deff needs to help out more. I put my foot down last year with my husband and kids and things have greatly improved not were I want it to be but we’re getting there. Your all supposed to be a team kids included.

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Assertive I statements.

Discipline according to occurring event.

Give one chance, no more, action/consequence.

The struggle will be hard I’m right there with you, put do not back down.

Talk to your General Practitioner about how you are feeling.

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Stop being so gentle. Not everyone in the world will be. Take away electronics, give a chore chart. They get to do what they want when they do what you tell them.

Sounds like possible depression as well which isn’t uncommon in mamas :black_heart:

Sounds like you need a break or some me time to yourself mom. Them regroup with your kids and tell them this is what we going to do, and see how that goes

Good old fashioned spanking

I think we all think we’re the worst parents, when in actual fact we all just muddle our way through it the best way we can. It’s tough, it has joyful days and the hardest of times.
Try and be gentle with yourself, are your children fed, loved, warm? Do you support them? Set boundaries, do not let them run riot over you, you are their mother not their friend. They will push, you need to push back. No need to hit. No need to scream and shout. But for sure be consistent and firm and boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
Take some time for yourself, even if it’s in little snatches. A bath. An evening walk when dad is home. Children learn what they live. If you don’t have love for yourself, and lead from the front about that, they will grow up tormenting you, and that’s not the point or purpose of having a family.

And please, speak to,your healthcare professional about how you’re feeling. We all need help from time to time. I did.