Then don’t watch them. 100% your house, your rules. You do NOT have to allow anyone in your home that cannot respect it. You are doing them a favor, If they cannot respect your house rules and just let the children run about with no actual parenting, then simply refuse to sit for them. If anyone comes to my home they are expected to follow house rules and I do not enable lack of respect or parenting when it comes to other kids in my home or around my children. Anyone that doesn’t like it or can’t respect my home knows where the door is.
9 Likes
I would be removing that toxic ass situation from my life
2 Likes
HELLLLL NO! your house your rules, if they don’t respect that than they can find someone else to watch them. You can’t just let kids get out of control in your house and you have to deal with it ESPECIALLY when your doing it for free but even if you weren’t. Kids need to be told no, kids need structure. I would never put up with that. And if you have kids it’s only fair that all the kids get treated the same and have the same rules when they are at your house.
2 Likes
Your house so your rules.
Lmao if your kids at my house they gonna follow the same rules my kids do🤷 They need to find someone else to babysit.
4 Likes
I would probably be petty and watch them at their house. Let them run around and do whatever they want and you not pick up. Bet that request to not discipline is out the door and if they start crap then I’d just not watch them
3 Likes
You tell them: My House, My Rules!!!
1 Like
I wouldn’t watch them no way you don’t need that misery them trying to tell u what to do and not to have any rules
2 Likes
Let them pay for a sitter if they don’t like the rules
It’s simple then don’t watch them lol you aren’t getting paid either. No thanks.
Your house your rules. If they don’t like them find someone else to watch them
Tell them stay home with their own kids , ain’t no way I would ever let someone tell me I can’t fuss kids that are in my house . Ain’t no one gonna tell me what to do in my own house . F@ck that , I would not watch them . I tell people don’t ask me to watch your kids or bring your kids to my house if you don’t want them being disciplined or corrected .my house my rules if something gets broken they not gonna replace it . You don’t owe them nothing especially for free . Let them find someone else that they will have to pay
12 Likes
Wouldn’t be watching them. I have rules, if you don’t like it then get the fuck out especially if I’m not being paid.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am not allowed to discipline the kids that I babysit: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am not allowed to discipline the kids that I babysit: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
It sounds like the kids do not respect their owns parents and THEY cannot handle them because they are not being disciplined by them. So the kids will not respect you or your home. I’m sure you love your family but you have to learn to say NO I CANNOT WATCH THEM. Until the parents are forced to discipline them they will destroy your home, your relationship with your family.
7 Likes
I wouldn’t be taking care of kids i couldn’t discipline. They must be taught when they are doing something wrong or damaging even harmful to themselves. Giving children the attention they need can avoid those times.
4 Likes
I’d be telling your mother and sister in law that you can no longer have the children as they do not respect your house or your things and they will need to find alternative care. How dare they say you can’t discipline in your own home. It’s not like you’re going to hit them but a stern talking too and time out does wonders
8 Likes
Absolutely lay down grown rules with the adults and kids. I feel bad for the kids to have no one teach them. If adults don’t agree than decline the abuse.
1 Like
Your rules your house. However discipline the way the parents do and ask them how they discipline them. If these children do not listen to you and you are doing it for free…say adios and catch another sucker for babysitting.
3 Likes
Nope. A child in my own home will not tell me what to do or not do. There’s no way on earth I would watch kid’s that can’t be disciplined. I’m not talking about spanking. I’m talking about being made to sit in time outs. Sit down and stop. They shouldn’t be allowed to disturb my belongings. Those are mine and important to me.
Best thing you should just stop keeping them. Your not getting paid as it is. 
22 Likes
Your house your rules. Children need to learn boundaries. If the kids decide to misbehave and disrespect you, you should have the ability and the right to sit them in time out. If they don’t want their kids to have timeouts or you know, be watched over responsibly then they can always look for someone else. I don’t know many babysitters who will allow the kids they watch to walk all over them.
6 Likes
Your house, your rules. Kids should know they can’t act the same way every place they go, and that each place has different rules and expectations. If they want you to watch the kids and not pay you, then the kids can abide by your house rules. If they don’t like that, they can find someone else to watch the kids.
7 Likes
Your house, your rules, if the adults can’t respect that, don’t keep the bratty kid(s). End of story
17 Likes
It’s your house, your rules . If they don’t like it tell them to hire a babysitter 🤷
4 Likes
Your house, your rules. Let them find their own childcare.
24 Likes
It is one thing to help but sounds like maybe have them find another sitter…
3 Likes
My family know I’m the tough aunty soo if they send their brats my way they know what that entails. My house, my rules. You don’t like them, find someone else to look after them!
besides all that I have said my nephews and nieces know exactly whats expected of them when they’re in my house because they were taught from a young age and know to respect others and their belongings no matter where they are!
3 Likes
Seems like you need to stop babysitting them. While you can’t discipline them too harshly, they do need to follow house rules and if anyone has problem with that, then they need to find someone else to babysit their kids.
3 Likes
Your house your rules. 
The rules are nothing to crazy simple rules; clean up after yourself, use inside voice etc. I would let them know they should be looking for someone else to watch the kids.
5 Likes
My house rules. My daughter does not like what I do when the kids are at my house. Don’t care. Don’t bring them. They are spoiled no bedtime eats all over the house up all might on video games. NOT MY HOUSE
4 Likes
If they don’t want to be there don’t take care of them. Also you should have rules in YOUR house. To hell with what they think. You need to put on your big girl panties and put your foot down.
6 Likes
Let’s make this easy. Apologize that you can no longer watch them because in your house you do not deserve to be bullied and disrespected by children who can not follow the house rules. You may not be liked but you don’t deserve the stress. They want to go out and have a good time and do it for free. You don’t need to be abused and if you must watch them get paid for your trouble because the adults are no better than the kids because the consider you free help and easy to manipulate. If they had any respect for you they wouldn’t let them treat you that way.
7 Likes
You’re the adult in charge! Stick up for yourself. Any kids in my house are disciplined like I’d do to my own… they can find a different sitter if they don’t like it.
83 Likes
Ummmm no! It’s your house, your rules. I can understand them not wanting you to use physical discipline but there’s no reason you can’t give time outs and take their freedom of playing away when they’re mishaving. Structure is extremely important for children to learn. If they don’t like it, Id suggest them finding a new sitter. You’re not required to do anything… family or not!
117 Likes
Your house your rules… I would expect if my children went to someone else’s house they’d be disciplined the same as anyone else
3 Likes
You have to set boundaries. People will treat you the way you permit them to treat you. You are the boss over your home and property. Forget about respecting their wishes, how about them respecting your wishes and rules under your roof? You sound like you are being too nice. You must be firm and if they don’t like it, they can try to find another unpaid sitter for undisciplined children.
8 Likes
I would honestly have a convo with the parents and explain all that and if they want you to watch them that there are certain rules you must follow when its outside of the parents home. Kids should be taught to respect other ppls houses and belongings. You are doing this for free in your home. If they went someone else, they would pay and a set of rules and contract would be made up going over whats acceptable and not. If too many rules are broken, then they can’t go to that place
4 Likes
Okay so firstly, your house your rules. I had rules at my parents house, different rules at my grandparents, hell I’m 26 and if I go to my friends house, I follow theirs or their parents rule. It’s simple respect. But, they are kids. They are going to make mess, they are going to be loud, thats part and parcel. So if you seriously can’t stand having things out of place, or your house isn’t child friendly, then you are probably better off going to their house to watch them
13 Likes
One rule with me, is when kids pass my gate they are to respect my house and everything in it, or don’t bring them to my house 
Kids soon learn I have boundaries, if my kids can follow what I set in place then so can everyone else’s kids.
7 Likes
then they will have to find a new babysitter that they have to pay cant discipline cant keep not tearing my house up
5 Likes
Don’t do it. Your nieces are not your responsibility, get your step son, only if he behaves. You have a right to respect and your home is YOUR home, the kids behaviors are not anything you want around your own kids. Their example will not be a positive impact on your children. What does the fiance say about all this or do about this, after all, they are his unruly relatives.
3 Likes
Yes, you should be able to discipline them when they misbehave while in your care. However, you also need to take responsibility and childproof the area the children will be in, and limit them to that area. You cannot expect children to understand value or sentiment. Before I had kids, when my friends would bring their kids over I would grab my breakables off the shelves and put up a baby gate to the basement and lock my office door. Took me about 15 minutes to kidproof my house, but then I didn’t have to worry about anything!
Also, are they bringing toys or activities to do? When my boys start destroying the playroom we go sit at the dining room table and paint, make necklaces, play with play dough. I don’t know how old they are, but I’m guessing on the younger side, so find something you can do together that is age appropriate. My 14m will sit there scribbling while my 3 year old cuts up straws and strings them together to make “snakes”. My 3 year old will sit there for a good hour cutting and stinging straws. Then we play hide and seek with the snake…I had a small house and not many places to hide. So we hide the snake and then we have to go find it. That gives me about another hour, and I pick up the house as I look for the snake, so I can get some cleaning done while still playing with them.
3 Likes
No time to feel bad that they don’t have a baby sitter. Your house your rules they don’t like tell them to find someone else.
4 Likes
My question is, after everything you are going through for them, for free, and them not only disrespecting you but also your rules and how you want your home: why are you continuing to babysit for them? I think it’s time to put yourself first and stop babysitting their kids.
If your fiancé gives you a hard time about it, maybe it’s time you reconsider him too. I can’t believe he’s allowing his family to do that to you.
4 Likes
I have 5 kids of my own and so long as I know the kids (family -close friends) and know that they are comfortable with me I treat them as my own … PERIOD. I do not care if I’m at their house with their parents I will not stand by and let a child be disrespectful to an adult. I will not allow my children to be around disrespectful children in front of me . If I don’t speak up I am teaching my kids that it’s OK to speak to me or their father that way . Also I’m not obligated to watch anyone’s kid so… please feel free to abide by my rules or pay for legit childcare 
thanks
2 Likes
If I’m watching someone else’s child, I’m responsible for their behavior. If you don’t trust my judgment to do so, the find someone else to watch the children.
23 Likes
I disciplined the children you are in my house. When you go home do what ever you want.
3 Likes
It’s your house and you set the rules. If Kids are misbehaving then they need to be corrected. For instance if they are roughhousing and you feel something will be damaged, then tell them there is no roughhousing and screaming in the house and they can do it outside. There is no need to let them destroy your home and peace of mind. Once they have finished playing with a certain toy, it needs to go back where it belongs. Also, you need to make it clear to sis that her children will mind you while in your care and if she has a problem with that, then she can hire someone to take care of them, plain and simple.
5 Likes
Your house your rules. They don’t like? Take somewhere else. Simple
3 Likes
Your house, your rules. You don’t HAVE to help ANYONE, family included. You aren’t getting paid, its your house and your belongings, they will respect your stuff. If you choose to continue watching them, you get to discipline them while they are under your roof. But not abuse, just discipline.
1 Like
Sounds like they don’t appreciate the free childcare, smh! If you’re not being abusive (verbally/mentally/emotionally/physically) with the ways you treat them, you should certainly be allowed to get on them for things they’re doing that disrespects you or your belongings. Sounds like some “entitled” family members you have there. Like really, who doesn’t want their kids to be taught things like respect, etc?!?!
1 Like
I always say, you want me to look after your kids, well my rules. Regardless of where we are.
1 Like
I would politely say i cant babysit unruly or unmanageable children…they arent doing you a favor…you are doing them a favor…but they cant tear up your house and your belongings…and walk all over you…
1 Like
SET BOUNDARIES FOR YOURSELF TO THEM . Take the kids out of the situation. Sounds like they don’t respect that is your house your rules ! I treat any and every kid that comes into my house I do time out as discipline and that’s what I do to the neighbor kid when they stay the night. I don’t mistreat or hit any child . But they will learn right from wrong in my house !
I love my son and his 3 year old son. My son was a really good, happy, obedient child. He was never spanked, he wasn’t yelled at or needed punishment. I joke he was raised feral since he was so easy. Now I’m told I can’t say no to my grandson. That I’m old fashioned. When he tries to hit me or throw a tantrum I’m supposed to “distract” him. I’ve watched this and it doesn’t work. I say don’t be so cooperative with demands of your family. Your house, your rules, they don’t like it they can go pay for child care. Some kids are both overindulged and over controlled at the same time. Good luck to you. I’m happy to care for him but under my rules. He’s fine with me, by the way. His intuition tells him not to cross the line.
My advice is don’t babysit. If you are instructed to leave them alone and not say anything then they can leave them at home and NOONE will be saying anything and they can for real be left alone 
This is ridiculous.
Now, you have to understand that if you DO agree to keep them that kids are messy and don’t always listen. If you stay consistent though kids ARE capable of knowing/learning different houses = different rules.
1 Like
I completely agree- your house, your rules. I wouldn’t tolerate anyone (family or not, child or adult) running wild in my home like that.
I would suggest trying to find activities to keep them busy and out of trouble if you ever allow them in your home again.
Just say NO. You have choices you are the one extending the favor. Who would they have if you didn’t babysit? If they have someone else let them call them.
1 Like
It is difficult. But how are they going to learn respect for others and their property. Personally I would tell their mother that you don’t mind having them but that whilst in your house they will abide by your rules. I think if I was the parent l would want my kids to be told the the limits in other peoples homes.
Don’t watch them then. Sounds like too much drama. Not worth it honestly. Who in their right mind tells a person who is doing them a favor that they can’t tell children to chill and not be chaotic and destructive? And you’re doing it for free? What kind of child doesn’t have some sort of structure or manners in their life? Sounds weird and not worth the bs.
If they don’t want to be there, tell them to find someone else to watch them. Why go through all of the stress and grief?
1 Like
Your house. Your rules. I wouldn’t help them out anymore. They can get a paid babysitter.
3 Likes
As a childcare provider I say YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES. Children need boundaries and rules it is a very important learning and development step.
Nothing works better than the way we used to be raised. We were told not to do something and what would happen if we did. Then if we did then the thing we were told would happen happened. Simple. We have respect, boundaries, manners, self-discipline,and common sense. Quit tip-toing around these spoiled kids. That’s why we end up with lazy, spoiled, disrespectful, entitled brats.
Its your home and of course you need to have rules and boundaries… but children also need the freedom to run, play and be a little wild. Children make messes. Things get broken on occasion. That’s just life with kids. I have two of my own, my infant niece, babysit one other and have playdates/sleepovers often. Yes, its hard work and the kids need constant reminders to follow the rules. I make sure they have plenty to do though. Play dough, art supplies, puzzles, toys galore, swing set, sandbox, playhouse… lots to keep them busy and usually away from the things I like to keep nice (which are mostly put up or not in common areas). Healthy balance makes it all much easier.
1 Like
Be prepared that you will not be able keep your house entirely clean while they are there, especially if they are young. When it comes to important things you should have the right to discipline them though…Your house your rules! Refuse to watch them if it’s not okay with anyone.
Sooo, make sure she watches your kids when she’s off, in return for watching hers for free, and apply the same rules, and make sure it’s for the same lengths of time. I’m sure she’ll have a much better understanding as to why kids need discipline when it’s warranted no matter where they are or who is watching them…
1 Like
Your house; your rules!!!
If you are minding them in YOUR house, then you have the right to discipline then. No ifs or buts. Simple. Otherwise they can pay a sitter!!!
Your house your rules and they ALL need to respect that or get paid childcare who most definitely will not tolerate how to be told how to do their job and to not reprimand them when there is cause or need to!!
If they don’t like how you do things they can go elsewhere…
2 Likes
Just say no. If they don’t trust you to discipline then they must not trust you. Why are they leaving with you if they don’t trust you? I’d say no. Something happens to one of them and they’ll be all over you it sounds like. I’m sorry. Do NOT let that happen. It’s not worth it.
Respect yourself enough to say No !
Your house your rules ! If you don’t put your foot down and let them know your house your rules in the end the only one who is getting hurt is you!
1 Like
It sounds to me as if you are an older person, caring for children, even good behaveones, takes lots of energy on your part, both physically and emotional.
Nobody should take that kind of abuse from youngsters.
Your health and well-being are important, thus, if something happens under your watch, you will be held accountable.
It’s their children, let them find someone who has the energy and training to handle them.
You owe it to yourself!
Don’t be surprised if you become “the monster” in their eyes.
I would tell them to send them to a child care place, you don’t need to be disrespected.
You have to establish boundaries for behavior in your home. I would suggest no yelling, you need to set expectations like no screaming and be able to request “quiet time” involving a quiet activity like playing a game, reading a book, using an electronic device, watching a movie etc. The trick with high energy kids is to tire them out. They need outdoor play. After, you can request quiet time for a break. Establish a routine and schedule. Ask the kids to help plan it by finding out what activities they like. If you are inclusive with them, perhaps they will be respectful in return. Remember, you are the adult by example and by setting expectations and boundaries or you cannot agree to care for them.
Your house your rules. If they can’t respect that. Then stop babysitting.
1 Like
It is your house, if they can’t/ won’t obey your rules then I wouldn’t babysit anymore. They can pay someone to do it!
What’s wrong with a time out? Yes you can have rules in your own house as long as you don’t hit, slap or shake, or threaten. They won’t be able to act like that at school. Frankly if they act that way I wouldn’t baby sit them.
Your house your rules if they don’t want to follow them don’t come simple as that
1 Like
Honestly your going to be there ain’t soon and you need to set limits. If they have no respect for you then watching them is a no for me
If they are in your house they follow rules at home seems they can do whatever, but coming to someone house must obey rules its your house
Your house, your rules. These people are trying to control you & you’re playing into it. Why? Tell them the kids will have to respect your house or to find someone else to watch them. Or ask for money. That might do it.
Stop watching them. They aren’t respecting you or your home. Either are your in-laws. Its not too straight or boring when they need minding is it?? Say no. The mental peace is worth it
How old are these kids? Over 6? Your house, your rules, enforce them. Younger? Set up a space for them where they can’t harm your things and keep them there for play (unless they’re outside or whatever, obviously).
Even if they are younger, if they get ahold of something they shouldn’t you have every right to take it away and tell them ‘no’. That’s not discipline, that’s teaching them to respect you and your things/space. Kids NEED to be told a flat ‘No’ sometimes, only explain if they argue. If they tantrum or keep arguing, discipline.
When it comes to dicipline, ask their parents and follow their rules to your discretion. If the parents say to spank and you don’t want to, don’t, but you need to have some other discipline techniques in your toolbelt like corner timeouts or priviledge revocation that the parents agree to. And of course, always talk about it after.
That’s not discipline that’s just your home and belongings being respected. If they don’t like the way you run your home then they can find someone else to put up with their feral monster children.
1 Like
Your house your rules. I feel children need rules. I have rules for my granddaughter when she comes and she knows them. She follows them as it’s out of respect and love. My house is fun but I have rules. Every child should have rules. You learn from little there are rules to follow If your mother in law can’t respect that than maybe she should find someone else
Setting rules is #1. Let kids know if they follow rules with that comes certain privileges. Movie night, swimming,board games,phone or tablet time,etc. Keep them interested,but always make them aware of consequences if they don’t want to cooperate,like chores, reading,cleaning up after themselves.Give alittle,take alittle. Cooperation earns respect for all of you.Good luck!
Don’t watch the little brats. In our house the rule is my house my rules.
Just leave the whole family alone including your finance who doesn’t have his son
Your house your rules, I would limit where they can go if the adults that care for these children don’t like your rules then let them find someone else to look after them.
Kids aren’t allowed in my house if I can’t discipline them period case closed . if other adults have a problem with that then they can take the kids else where
When I was 16, I babysat for a family who had 7 children. I was given permission to discipline them. I wouldn’t have babysat otherwise. Good thing too…one day, I was watching the 3 younger ones (ages 1-4) inside while the 4 older ones (ages 7-12) played outdoors. The eldest came running in to tell me the 7-year-old was playing with matches in the garage (don’t know how he got them). The eldest stayed with the little ones while my feet grew wings. I raced to the garage. There he was…in a wooden garage, sitting beside a can of gasoline, striking matches. My hand found his backside and he was grounded to the house until his parents came home. When I told them what he did and what I did, they did it again. I would not then, and would not now, babysit unless I am allowed to maintain control. If they don’t like my rules (especially if I don’t charge), they can get someone else.
Your house your rules. They need to respect you and if they don’t then tell them to get a new sitter
Stop looking after their entitled children.you will never win with these.parents Have.they ever asked what.your definition of.punishment is, and how.& when you would apply it…
Where I live in HK. you get live in maids with the same issue, spoiled children who aren’t taught by their parents and have the maids at their beck and call. The maids can’t complain since the blame will fall on them not to kids.
Simple matter here: your house, your rules. If they want to stay at your home, they abide by your rules. If they won’t follow, they leave and are not welcomed back. Make sure the parents know, so they are aware that their children will need to follow some basic rules or deal with the consequences.
You are an adult. Grow a back bone! You’re being used. If your mother in law can afford to gamble at Casinos, she can afford to pay a sitter. These kids sound as disrespectful as the day is long. Sorry but there is no way I would put up with any of it. I hope you can overcome this dilemma.
If you are watching kids, they need to know how you expect them to behave. What happens when they are in school or at a friend’s house. If they don’t follow your rules they can have a time out. All kids need to learn that there are different expectations at different places. Maybe have some special things for them when they come over. My sister used to keep a basket with special things for her neices and nephews. They knew where they were and they were expected to put them away. She often added something new to the basket. There were,books, cars, action figures, etc. Be creative. And maybe play on the floor with them.
Sounds like there a whole lot of mess going on there… grandmother has custody of kids, other grandchild living there, grandmother doesn’t want to be a parent, she wants to go out. It doesn’t sound like those kids have any structure in their life…sad. Shut that madness down and don’t allow it to come into your home.
Easy answer here. My house, my rules. Say NO. You can’t allow yourself to be a doormat. Set boundaries. Well-behaved children are welcomed everywhere, badly-behaved hellions are not.