I wanted to get advice. My husband and I have been planning for a year now to have our last baby next year. This is not something we discuss with anyone but ourselves. We like to keep our baby-making plans private. Someone we are close to is getting married next year (it was supposed to be 2-3 years originally). I am in the wedding. Now, whether we have a little one or not, I can still be at the wedding. I would either have a young baby (this is not a child-free wedding, and some of my family would be there to help) or be pregnant if everything went as planned. She has recently brought up to me that someone else at the wedding is planning to be pregnant at the time of the wedding and she is really upset about it. I honestly am not sure what to do. I am not getting any younger and do not want to have my last one after a certain age. I had every intention of trying before she was ever engaged. So do I put my family on hold even though I have been planning this for a year, or do I just go about my life and hope she doesn’t hate me? I want to be by her side for her big day, but I also want to start wrapping up my life and family before it is too late. I’m so conflicted.
You don’t put your family on hold for someone else that’s insane
You don’t put your family on hold for someone else’s wedding…
If you are truly close to this person- she shouldn’t have anything but happiness in her heart when you get pregnant. You should absolutely NOT put your family plans on hold because you’re in a wedding.
I would definitely put your family first, if she is truly your friend she will understand.
You do what you want, it is your family. If she has a problem with it, ask her to move the wedding date.
Get prego, a true friend would be happy for you, regardless of the timing, in the end.
BRIDEZILLA ALERT!!! Your friend is being selfish to even think that way.
You and your family come first! If she really cares about she’ll understand, if not your not missing anything!
Don’t put your life on hold for anyone dear. Littles are precious
This isn’t even a question. Have that baby. Your “friend” can kick rocks.
Bridezilla dont put your family on hold for that. This person should be happy for you not cause such a thing. It’s none of her business if and when you get pregnant.
Why would you even have to tell her it was a whole plan? Like ooops I’m pregnant. So happy. Yay.
I wouldn’t be in the wedding.
I was asked to.be in my friends wedding. Way before I got.pregnant. I said yes because I got them together orginally. It was a blessing. After I found out I was pregnant. I had to tell.her I was 5 months by the time the wedding rolled around. She was so.happy for me. She was more mad about the other bridesmaid who hid it from her that she was also pregnant be open and honest if it happens.
you do NOT need to put your life on hold for that. If you are pregnant by the time of her wedding and she’s upset than it is her problem. It’s messed up that she’s angry the other woman is pregnant and she should not be treating her friends that way. I’m sorry but I feel she needs to grow up. You do you and if she gets mad or kicks you out of the wedding than let her.
Tell her to like it or lump it, it’s not down to her whether you get pregnant or not… Don’t put it on hold for her xx
who cares what she wants! It’s your life!
I find it hard to believe that a person would be so incredibly selfish to be upset that people in her wedding party are pregnant…
Sounds like this person is not grown up. Pretty childish to expect people to put their lives on hold for her wedding.
U can’t put ur family on hold for others. My friend was pregnant for my wedding and she still went to my Bach and was in my wedding. I was pregnant for my friend’s wedding after and I went to her Bach at 30 weeks and was totally fun! She’s being selfish…
Well, I know I’m still very young. But I think you should explain this to your friend and if she gets angry I think she will get over it. If she is a good friend she will understand and support you. Strongs. ☉
She sounds salty af… make a baby! This is your life!
Family comes first always.
Your family should NEVER take a backseat to a friends 15 minutes of fame!!! You do you girl!
Don’t put your family on hold no one. If she’s your friend, she would be happy for you and understand…
Girl. Get pregnant. Don’t worry about her wedding.
Sounds to me she’s a crappy friend! Do what’s best for you not for her. You’re family is more important!
Dont put your life on hold for a “friend” who would get mad for following your dreams
Soooo your life time child should be postponed because her one day wedding… if she wants u part of her wedding then so be it. But she has absolutely no say over your body and what happens in your personal life…
Tell brizezilla to shove it… obviously she’s not a true friend if she has to dictate that part of you’re life
I would try for that little baby just as you both planned! Clearly you’re a very good friend for even considering putting that off till after her wedding. If she can’t be happy for you then I think maybe you can see who cares about the friendship more.
Her poor future husband is all I can say
Girl if she doesnt want anyone to be pregnant thats kinda rude one of my brides maids was 8 months prego at my wedding lmfao yall try for that baby!
Dude, get pregnant. If she doesnt like it tell her to fuck off
Family comes first! She sounds ridiculous. What is the big deal with anyone being pregnant anyway?
Good lawd. Who cares what she thinks. Don’t be in the wedding then??
Why would you let someone dictate when to have a baby
You don’t need that week
Family first. Good luck with your baby
Wow, i wouldn’t want a friend, who gets pissy about friends being pregnant. Go on with your life. Chick will be divorced in a few years anyway.
It’s also a bit insane, that you would actually hold off on growing your family, due to some silly weddding.
Nah. I’d out of that wedding and enjoy my last pregnancy.
Um…She’s ridiculous, do what’s best for you and your husband and if she doesn’t like it, she’s selfish and not your friend
Dont.let a few minutes in a wedding stop you from making your own family.shes not.much of a friend.walk away from her
Just say you can’t be in the wedding then.
If you guys are good enough friends to be in her wedding party, then I’d sit her down and explain the situation. I am sure if shes that good of a friend that she would understand. If she does not. Then shes not a good friend.
That, or just do what u had planned on. make a baby and act like it was a surprise lol oops sorry. I’m a married woman who has sex, I got pregnant. she gets pissed, she gets pissed. Shell get over it
Shes a selfish something. Lol what? Psycho much? Like plan your life around my big day! Umm get better friends… that arent so self absorbed.
Your family should be first! This is your life. She will get over it if she’s a true friend.
That is ridiculous. How can someone be upset about a pregnancy
Well I wouldn’t want a friend that would be so petty and selfish as to be upset that a friend was going to be pregnant during her wedding. That’s outrageous. You start your family on your schedule dear.
Some people are just too extra with weddings these days. A girl in a mom group I was in spent 30,000 on her wedding, had all kinds of rules to make it “perfect” and she ended up divorcing less than a year later.
I’d tell her oh well. I’m sorry but if she was my real friend she wouldnt be a spoiled conceited bitch that thinks the world revolves around her and her plans. Woohoo you’re getting married that wedding lasts 2 hours-5 hours? But she wants all you guys her supposed friends and loved ones to put all your lives on hold for her ? Nahhhhh sounds idiotic to me. It’s a no brainer. Have your baby
I was pregnant while being in both my best friends weddings. I am beyond flabbergasted that she would care. Glad she no friend of mine.
What kind of friend doesnt help celebrate in the beggining of a new baby.id ditch the wedding completely and make some mom friends.
I think you need to tell her your plans and no you shouldn’t change them. I personally don’t understand why anyone has a problem with their wedding party being pregnant but if it’s that important to her then kindly tell her you’ll have to back out from being part of it. YOUR family and decisions are more important than a bride’s demands for her wedding party.
I found out I was pregnant shortly after I was asked to be in a wedding and they were the sweetest most accommodating people and I am ever so grateful. When I got married one of my bridesmaids was pregnant, though I didn’t know. Honestly, unless you’re selfish and vain about the aesthetics of your pictures why would it even matter? I’m not ok with enabling people who get power crazy like that.
Do what’s best for you and your family. If they kick you out of the wedding because of it than oh well, wipe your hands of them because she is not truly your friend than!
I would say get pregnant and not be in the wedding. You never know, waiting a year might make it a lot harder to conceive. And you wouldn’t want to resent her because of it forever. Family comes first.
Don’t let her know you planned it, Other than suggesting you terminate the pregnancy or in inviting you Tobe in the wedding party, what can she do?
You deserve to make the choice. If she doesn’t like it, she can shove it.
Your family comes first!
Do what you have planned. She will get over it or not that isn’t your problem how she feels.
The fact that you’re even conflicted over this is crazy. Your immediate family comes first 100% of the time- your kids, your spouse and yourself. She sounds like a bridezilla🙄marriage probably won’t last she sounds like a giant bitch
She is a control freak. Thank u
You don’t stop your life because someone’s going to act like a child about it. If she doesn’t like it then she can kick rocks.
Sounds like the bride needs to grow up
Make a baby! I lost my best friend since diapers after having a baby & not being attentive enough during her wedding prep… guarantee my son makes me happier than that friend did.
Go ahead and start trying for another baby, there’s no guarantee that you will be pregnant when she gets married. Honestly I am 31 almost 32 weeks pregnant and there is no way I’d be able to stand in someone’s wedding, I can barely stand for 5 minutes. Your family comes first and a true friend would respect that and be happy for you.
Lol is this real? Girl DO NOT place a hold on your life because someone is getting married.
Get pregnant and she can do whatever she wants as far as her wedding goes. Pregnancy trumps a friends wedding.
I had a miscarriage last December and it devastated us as we had planned and planned for baby #2. After the loss I was in the same position as you time wise. I knew if everything went as planned I would be pregnant for my cousins wedding, in which I was the maid of honor. My cousin fortunately was incredibly understanding and told me it was completely my decision and she supported either decision I made. I went back and forth for a few months on it until a friend of mine said… “Are you really going to put the rest of your life on hold for ONE day? 12 hours of fun and then no one will hardly remember it”…
And I decided right then and there that I was not. I ended up being about 13 weeks pregnant for the wedding, you could hardly tell and we had a great time😊 I say go for it.
What if people would have told her mother they don’t want her to b seen
Make a new friend shes bridezilla
Family first!!! Always
Who means more to you, family or a friend?
She isn’t doing any of the 3 F’s sweetie so make that baby!
Go forward with your family plans. If she doesn’t like it and removes you from her wedding she wasn’t a true friend anyway.
I wish I would have your conflicts…seems easy enough…
What the hell? If she isn’t someone who would be happy for you, and is that selfish, do you really want to be at this wedding? Go get your baby makin on.
If shes a “real” friend she will understand and suppourt you and be excited. If she doesn’t then she obviously isn’t that great of a friend or person
Honestly you and your husband should do whatever yall want to do. I wouldn’t even say anything about it… Yet. And then, if (when) you find out that you are pregnant call your friend with the good news.
If she is anything but excited for you and your family then… That’s her problem.
50% of marriages end in divorce. Don’t change your plans. She can always change the members in her bridal party.
Your life comes before her and if she has a problem with that then she is not a friend at all
It isn’t for her to decide whether anyone is pregnant.She needs to grow up and realize families happen.And you need to tell her
you cannot be in her wedding.She is ridiculously immature.
I have neve heard such stupidity
She cant decide who’s pregnant or not things happen and if shes worried about pictures then her attitude will ruin them not a baby bump
What’s more important to you, your life or her wedding. Don’t be in the wedding party but be there to help and celebrate.
Is this really just an AITA question and you’re just looking for permission? Because you can’t seriously think you should put your life on hold because this bitch can’t handle a pregnant bridesmaid. The answer to AITA, is no, you are not the asshole. Live your life. If you’re pregnant, be like oops. If you’re not, no harm no foul. You have our permission to live your fucking life. Happy? Good. Now go get yo ass knocked up! lol
Family first, weddings aren’t shit compared to having a family of your own. If she was really your friend being pregnant wouldn’t matter
Um she can’t tell someone not to get pregnant. Thats a tad uptight and rude. But if you are trying… Not to be rude but stop you will get pregnant faster, stress will keep your body from getting pregnant cause ovulation gets delayed. I had a few close friends stop stressing and they got pregnant within a few months by themselves because IVF wasnt working…
Oh God she needs to get over it. It’s her day. You aren’t taking away from that. It’s ok for her to be nervous to be pissy about someone pregnant? That’s irrational
Would this friend of yours do the same for you?
You shouldn’t even ask this question. Have that baby and build a home for your family. Luckily it’ll be your friend’s choice whether she wants to be a part of that or not and you won’t be the bad guy
Um keep trying for your family screw the wedding
Your friend sounds extremely selfish. Why would you put life plans on hold for that?!
You do you- get pregnant. Skip the wedding if it’s such a problem
If she was that great of a friend, she would be thrilled for you and still want you there pregnant or not. Go on about your life and have that baby.
I look at it this way. You are private about your pregnancy plans. Treat it like you aren’t TTC and it’s a surprise baby. She can’t get mad if you don’t tell her it was on purpose. We are adults no one should be privy to your bedroom besides the ones in it. What is she gonna do? Pay for your birth control? Keep you away from your husband until the wedding? Literally can’t stop pregnancy unless the person doesn’t have sex.
Seriously? Why would you plan having your baby around someone else’s wedding?!
No one will put that on hold for you don’t put that on hold for someone else have your child and do what’s right for your family her wedding is one day. Your family is forever.
Seems very selfish. If you get pregnant and it ‘interferes’ with her plans, then I would decline your invitation to be part of the wedding party and the wedding altogether. It’s harsh, but not ‘allowing’ anyone to be pregnant is straight up rude.
I would never cave in to her insecurities. If she doesn’t want to see you pregnant at her wedding,what other important family and friends gatherings will she not allow pregnant women at.? Sorry, live YOUR life.
Really? How is this even a question?
Some of these questions lately
She sounds like bridezilla