I am in a love triangle and don't know what to do

So you’re kids are now involved in this mess? …… you sound stable.

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It started with your frame of thought. No man is going to be able fill all your needs, this is why we learn to accept the flaws of those we choose to be with. Well Not unless you want to be Pollyamist.
This is something you really need to sit down and think about because we all have an opinions but the opinion changes pending the person’s background. I find praying and a day or 2 of thinking long term helps me. God does answer prayers IF your patient enough.

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Whoa, you say August of 2021 like that was a long time ago. Worry about yourself and your kids when you have that together then consider a relationship.

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I would cut things off with the first guy as you went WAY too fast and slow down with the 2nd guy so this doesnt happen again…

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I say go with the one that makes you feel cherished. But if your not feeling it with the one who lives with you get rid of him sooner rather than later . So he can then move on to someone who is a better fir for him . Sounds like a good guy just not a romantic at heart . Not fair to him that you have the other guy getting your attention . Definitely consider taking is slower with the new guy . You should of realized that he wasn’t a good match for you way before you ever moved him in .

Goodness, jezebel. You don’t deserve to feel cherished :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t4:

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Have you considered at all of taking yourself off the market? Sounds like while he’s home with your mom, you’re out strolling and browsing for something else. The two of you should have gotten a place of your own to begin with, not living with your mother. Also, you are raising 2 daughters, be the example of what you want them to be. Don’t be selfish and dependent on a man. No man will make you happy until you’re happy with yourself.

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Sounds like you need time to stand on your own. Once you are strong solo, you can handle dating. You went from divorce to living with someone way to fast. Be your own best friend for awhile. And don’t wait for someone to cherish you, cherish yourself! :heart::v:

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You need to be alone

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U have girls and ur bringing men u met online home to live w them? Um u have bigger problems than trying to figure out which guy to go w. How would u feel.if u found out the guys had side pieces? Both if the relationships r doomed from the start bc of ur actions. Hopefully u practice safe sex .u need therapy . Eventually u will get caught up and u deserve to be !

You got yourself into this mess. Get yourself out of it. Next time, don’t drag your daughters into your shenanigans.

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I guess my question is 1. Do you check all the new guys boxes? 2. How will this affect your children? 3. Maybe end with the first dude first, give you some time to think about things and if you still feel the same move on. I don’t judge, I try to look at everyone’s feelings involved, it isn’t just you and your needs that need to be considered.

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You’re not in a love triangle! You’re just cheating on your partner!!! :unamused:

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You basically moved a stranger in to your moms house with you young daughters because you absolutely couldn’t stand being away from him yet you are cheating on him an including your daughters in on your cheating. You live with one man and took your daughters on vacation with another man that is not a good thing you need to stop bringing strange men around your kids. Definitely break it off with the first guy because If your cared an loved him you would not have cheated with the second man. You are putting your daughters in a very unhealthy environment and potentially dangerous situations you need to start putting your daughters first and stop jumping from bed to bed with different men.

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It sounds like you’re about to be found out, and lonely. Don’t lead people on. This is selfish. Loyalty is important. Tell the truth, hope they both don’t dump you for this sneaky stuff, if you weren’t getting your needs met it is your job to say it and what you want to your spouse, no one but you. You lack Loyalty, authenticity, truth, and have those narcissistic tendencies. I couldn’t be with you after this, I’d leave bc you love him but you didn’t love him enough to tell the truth. I have no pity or advice here.

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Thats why you dont move fast and then settle.

When the excitement wears off they both have a penis, fart and will ignore you the majority of the time.

Wait, your bringing your children around both men. What a great role model :roll_eyes:

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Why did you waste so much of this man’s time. Women like you make it hard for everyone else and it’s sickening. You basically used this man to have someone until someone better came along. Let him go and let someone else love him. RIDICULOUS!!!

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Sounds like the first guy was just looking for a place to live. Dump him,Start dating Outback guy without your daughters around,see how it goes.Slow it down a bit.

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Sounds like you don’t have your daughters’ best interests at heart. There’s no way I’d be letting strange men around my daughters. You need to let both men go and work on yourself.

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You said boyfriend. Which means the choice is all yours to make. If you aren’t happy romantically you are not going to be happy. Don’t settle, but don’t keep introducing your kids to these people and do not move in together.

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My advice would be this… think about if your daughters came to you saying they in your situation, what would you tell them? And do that.

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Go with #2 do #1 a favour

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Erm… I’m glad you realize you moved too fast. Although I wouldn’t call it a triangle unless the guys know about each other and are vying for your affections. You just ended up meeting someone while you were otherwise occupied by another man, aka cheating. You can’t have one guy standing on the sidelines for things to go wrong. You should also think about how long it should be before all these men meet your kids… not only could they get attached, there’s yet another person out there that knows your kids. That shouldn’t.

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Yeah, definitely get out of relationship one. As far as relationship two, tread carefully. And sheesh, your kids are young and impressionable; make better choices. Not to mention, moving one guy into where your kids live and then taking a vacation WITH another man you barely know- their safety matters! This is about more than you’re wants; their NEEDS should always come first. If you can’t take them into more consideration, have them live with their dad; hopefully he’s more mature.

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I have nothing nice to say :shushing_face:

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I think it’s like 20 times more likely that your children are abused if you have a non married non biological male living with you and your children. You need to slow down.

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You’re nasty better be careful u got kids & you playing games with 2guys SMH I don’t see it ending well

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Ewwwwww you need to work on yourself.

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I think you’re bringing those girls around too many potential father figures too soon. As someone who watched my son struggle after one of my relationships ended, it really messes with them. Maybe focus and worry about them first.

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If you’re still thinking about another guy then obviously the first guy isn’t the one. Sometimes we answer our own questions if we just listen to our own questions.

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How would you feel if their father was doing the same thing in thier presence?

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You’re not in a love triangle. You’re cheating. Time to let the first man go. If you truly loved him, the thought of cheating on him, breaking his trust and hurting him would have never been an option.

See, there is no such thing as moving to fast or to slow in a relationship. Every one has their own pace. I met and married my husband within 2 months of meeting him. The difference is, since meeting him, another man hasn’t even crossed my mind. If you loved the first guy, the second guy would have never been an option.

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And when #2 loses his luster on to #3?? Stop :eggplant: jumping you have two young daughters that are watching and influenced by you

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You are running from man to man with two girls. And you think the one who you let move in Gonna go away that easily? Girl it’s about to get bad​:hushed::hushed::hushed:

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Grass isn’t alway greener on the other side . Seems like you need to be single. And focus on your daughters first .

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feels like it’s time to rip off the band-aid. If you do it fast it won’t hurt as much

First, get that interloper out of your mother’s home. Put the lust away and concentrate on your mother and your children. You should not even have time to consider outside relationships at this point.

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How does a person working at outback afford a Hawaiian vacation for four ppl?

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Oh. But when a woman does this, it’s not “cheating”. Just a love triangle. :joy::joy::joy:. You’re apparently attracted to anything that gives you attention. As soon as you’re with outback dude full time for a few months, sounds like you’ll start to get bored with him and find an excuse to stray elsewhere

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My first thought is to give yourself more time. More time to work on yourself before committing to these men, more time to get to know the man before bringing them around your daughters, more time to get to know them before moving them into your home. The beginning of any relationship is the honeymoon phase but once all that lust fades then the true person will show.

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Most important thing: your kids see your actions and they learn from it. So think of how you want your kids to behave!!

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I would get rid of both of them and concentrate on my relationship with my girls first. You’re rushing from man to man, they’re going to get attached to one or both and you’re going to end up hurting them. Plus you aren’t getting to know these guys that well. You keep this up and you’re bound to run into a sexual deviate sooner or later. You don’t want your girls getting messed with. I speak from experience. I put my kids through hell. All because I thought it was necessary to have a two parent family to keep my ex-husband at bay, and I wasn’t crazy about trying to go it alone with two kids. I was an idiot. The three of us were uncommonly close, the kids and I. We’d have done ok. But I didn’t see that. Men were trouble for me when they were small. Believe me, Girl. Dump them both. Get that guy out of your mom’s house, and the four of you thrive together. Once your girls are out of school, then see what the dating scene looks like. Trust me, you won’t be sorry.

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Wait!! Break it off with both of them because at this rate - you’ll be taking both your daughters to counselling every Wednesday night & you might meet someone while waiting at restaurant next door!

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Follow your heart however you should not bring men around the kids unless you plan on it being long term. Don’t feel bad your not ready to settle down. It takes more than one relationship after a divorce to figure out what you want. Just know u need to decide so your not hurting him anymore it’s not fair to him.

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That is cheating… you are with another man infact you live together and on the side you’ve been flirting with this other guy. You open the doors to temptation. How would u feel if the tables were turned and your current BF was hanging out and talking to some other women and it was becoming more than just talk?? AHHH… yeah terrible… no wonder you don’t care what the BF at home does because if you did you both would be working on your issues…

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Yikes. Sounds like you already know what you need to do.

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Some people really just have the audacity

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Yeah your cheating. Well your bout to reap what you sow.

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Your kids are watching you do this. You need to make up your mind so no one gets hurt

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You’ve answered your own question.if you’re falling for someone else you didn’t want the first guy,you just settled because it was convenient

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Don’t introducing strange men to your children. I hope you end up alone and you fix what’s wrong with you…you’re setting a bad example.

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Your first and BIGGEST mistake is bringing different men around your kids. How do you know nothing won’t happen to either one of them? You let some dude you barely know move in with you and your kids. Forget the rest of the story. You’re messing with your kids safety. You do you on your own time. Don’t bring someone around til you know it’ll last and it’s serious.

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Break it off with both of them and focus on you and your girls. Get yourself back on your feet and figure out what you really want. You doing want your girls being tangled in your cheating. It’s not fair to them and they come first.

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Gurl, you don’t know that guy either. Wait a couple years.

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Well it seems to be that people are saying don’t jump from man to man and the grass isnt always greener. I’m sorry I disagree. You’ve already had your children. You divorced their father and moved on. Sounds like their dad is in their life and has them half time. So you don’t have to worry about trying to save things for the benefit of the kids. And yes they definitely can get attached to somebody but they will move on they are young. You matter too. You deserve to feel love and as you say cherish ed. And your boyfriend deserves honesty and respect and the new guy deserves a legitimate opportunity to be with you if that’s what he wants. I would talk to the guy from outback. Ask him if he’s ready for a serious relationship and is that something he wants from you. Also you spoken to your boyfriend and explained your love language and he can’t give you what you need. He sounds like a really nice guy but like you said you both moved on too fast. Perhaps he was also using the situation to move in with you to make things easier on him. At the end of the day your boyfriend deserves honesty. And despite the fact that yes in fact you are cheating you deserve happiness. You need to tell him that it’s not working out for you. That you care about him and you appreciate him but that you can’t be committed to him in a romantic relationship. I honestly would probably avoid telling him that you treated because it might just add more hurt and resentment and maybe cause some scenes in front of the kids that you don’t want. Keep things amicable and tell him that you want to give him a month to look for a place to go. Don’t just kick him out in the street he didn’t do anything wrong. If you end up having a relationship with the guy from out back try to keep it like it is now don’t automatically progress really fast take things slow. You shouldn’t have to live your life with somebody that you don’t really want to be with just out of guilt. And you should not be treating me either. That’s not fair to anyone and honestly it’s not safe because God forbid you catch a disease and spread it.
I know so many people trapped in relationships and marriages where they are unhappy. Don’t be trapped. But also you can’t continue to cheat. You are divorced and you have the right to date around until you find somebody that you feel completely content with. You just have to do so in a way that is fair to everyone

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But you’re not a garden tool?! Bs!

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What is seriously wrong with you? You aren’t stuck in a love triangle, you are lying and cheating. If a man did this it would be so wrong yet you try to use the whole I don’t feel loved bs to get away with it, pathetic. Do what’s right and take care of your kids

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omg you need some down time here get that man out of moms house n put guy next door on hold your not ready to settle down just think about the girls instead of Your LOVE needs

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There really is no such thing as moving too fast or too slow, relationships develop at their own pace. My husband and I met on a dating site the day that I signed up for it. I flat out told him from the get go that I had a toddler and I was pregnant, if he couldn’t handle that, then he needed to move on. We met in person the next day without my son. We have literally been together ever since. I moved in with him at his parents after we had been dating for 1-2 months, got our own place at 3 months, married at 10 months and have been happily married for going on 11 years (May 28). I did what you did and was jumping guy to guy, but that’s not a good thing. A strong long term relationship is something that just happens, you don’t go looking for it because you will be seeing things that aren’t there and overlooking things that you shouldn’t.

I’m just going to put this out there…

BE VERY CAREFUL with men on the internet around your children!!!

An arrested pedo in my city once told police the easiest target for him is a busy single mother with young kids.

Personally I say send him packing& see where things lead with the guy you met in person.

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You maybe afraid to settle again and are looking for a way out. Any excuse to leave or push him away. I say take a hard look at everything. Maybe go to counseling and figure out what’s going through your head, what are you afraid of, what are you trying to run from run to, run into. If I have learned anything don’t settle because the guy likes you and everyone gets along with him, itf it doesn’t feel right it’s not. In five years you might be in a shttier tougher situation and beat your self up because you knew what you needed to do then. Best of luck. Whatever happens happens and all you can do is move on. Also, it’s so easy these days to do back gound checks on people. Maybe do that on all guys you date as well. All woman should these days.

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Why do you women expose your children to men you don’t know :broken_heart:. These. Poor children

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from the frying pan, that are you living with , into the fire…

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If you’re talking to other guys then you’re no longer invested in the first relationship so break it off. Then get your own place and take it slower.

Wait he gave you guys a vacation to Hawaii? But you have only know each other for a couple of months? But your living with the other man full time. You basically don’t know either of these men. Something is definitely off. My advice is slow done. Figure out what you want before you hurt someone. So what’s best for your babies.

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Your boyfriend isn’t going to feel cherished once he finds out about this other guy

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I don’t have enough time to unpack everything wrong with this :woman_facepalming:

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Gurl u still dealing with your divorce, u have girls for pete sake, u cant bring any dick tom ad harry home, tmrw your girls will follow ur example, noo darling get your act together for your kids sake ad work on your emotional state 1st,go for counseling to work thru your divorce, maybe then you need to choose the 2 guys, and pls choose right this time, for your girls sake…And howcome your mom cant teach your the proper way in life, u wudv gotten a good thrashing if u were my kid, id hit the nonsense out your head, dont run after men, its worthit, God choose u for those kids look well after them, they need u, not a man

You introduce your kids to everyone you date?? I feel awful for your girls. They honestly both sound like red flags. And so do you. Poor babies. Stop being so focused on dating and who does well by your kids and focus on your kids and what YOU can do for them.

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Feeling cherished will only last so long then LIFE begins.

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Break it off with boyfriend,take time for you,get out of your moms place and get your own then while dad has the kiddos start dating around

How did you get 2 guys in love you???

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1st you need to stop bringing strange men around your children. Thats how so many kids are both sexually and physically abused. THEY come first. 2nd the guy you moved in needs to be told the truth. You are not being fair to him. Let him go find someone who will cherish him the same way you want to be cherished. 3rd i think.ypu should spend some time dating people and finding put what you truly want from a partner and taking rhe time to really know someone. People always change after the honeymoon phase is over. Stop jumping so far in so fast and give yourself time to find yourself again.

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How about you just take some time to be alone and figure out your priorities ? My babies always come first. And the example I set for them is important too. This is just messed up. Moving a man into your MOMS house that you barely know. To be around your KIDS!! :woman_facepalming:t2: I just can’t with the stupid sh!t :expressionless:

Tell him you are done, it sounds like you have already made up your mind about that.

There is no such thing as a “love triangle” that’s straight up cheating. :nauseated_face::face_vomiting:
Always go with the second person.
If you loved the first person, then the second person, would have never been an option.

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Not everyone’s love language is the same. If you and your partner love differently that’s a conversation that has to happen between you two, not getting another person involved. Everything is great during the honey moon phase, it’s working past that that really shows your willingness to make a relationship work. If everytime the lovey doveyness isn’t there, you run to someone else, you’ll never have a healthy relationship.

If you really don’t feel invested with your current boyfriend, it being more than he doesn’t cherish the ground you walk on, then walk away. But don’t go hopping to the next “best thing” because he’s nice and gives you things especially with kids involved

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I’m confused. He gave you a vacation to Hawaii? That’s a bit extreme for someone your not completely involved with. This isn’t fair to your current boyfriend. I’d say break it off with the current bf and take it from there.

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Ummm how does a dude that works at a restaraunt take you Hawaii lkl

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It sounds like you need time to yourself to connect and learn more about yourself and what you really want. Take more time with dating to fully learn these people because you’re only meeting their representative. It’s always good in the beginning. Think about it like a job interview, they will say and do anything to get the position but later you realize they’re a terrible employee whose taking their position for granted. Definitely keep them away from your kids, it sounds like they’re meeting these men too early. It may feel good and then you’re going off the relationship with the kids but that will only further complicate the matter and confuse you from using proper judgment. If you don’t want to let the new guy go, then slow it down. But you definitely should break it off with the one you’re already with. People make mistakes when they’re lonely. You recognized that you’re settling so that is the first admirable step, now the hard part. Break up and then spend some time alone before getting further entangled with the new guy, or any guy at this point.

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Break off with both and get some counseling. You do not know yourself.

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Your not setting a good example for your children. This guy lives with mommy but we’re going to see this guy too? Kids aren’t dumb. I feel bad for guy #1. He’s going to be so blindsided when and if you tell him. And I also would bet your mother knows nothing of this.

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YOU NEED to Check his Back ground !! You know nothing about them guys !! Make sure you check there Back Ground Is He a sex offender is he crazy ! You don’t know any thing about these man your dating Already !!

Stop introducing your kid to strange men wtf? You need to worry about yourself.

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Wait. So your kids are watching you do this. Poor girls.

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Surely this is not real :woman_facepalming:

Its so very nice of you to start geometry lessons for your daughters, they get to see intersections turn into triangles, then conversions to downward spiral

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Break up with current boyfriend.

The waiter has mistress advantage. He doesn’t have to put up with you 24/7, you don’t have to talk about bills, or kids, or real life. Mistresses always have the advantage. It’s easy to make someone happy or impressed for a few hours at a time. He won’t likely be all that sparkly if you move him in. All that being said. Cut the good guy loose, he deserves someone who is not comparing him to Santa daddy. You don’t have to have a reason. You’ve convinced yourself you’re missing out, so you won’t be satisfied.

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You’ve never felt so uncherished yet you moved him into you MOM’S house???
Leave them both alone until you figure out what you want . They don’t deserve what you’re doing and your kids don’t deserve it either.

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Sooo. You’re having an affair and you’re trying I justify it by calling it a “love triangle” … if a man were doing this he’d be torn apart. What you’re doing is unacceptable. Period. Zero excuse. Cut your boyfriend loose, clearly he’s not for you & he deserves to find someone who loves him. Also, it’s absolutely ok to know your love language & to tell your partner what your needs are. However this whole things makes me wonder if you’re just addicted to the honeymoon stage. Relationships are filled with ups & downs. This also sounds like it’d be confusing for your kiddos. I think you should do some self work before getting further involved with anyone.

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This sounds soo made up. Just saying.

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Find your own place to live and Focus on your daughters. 

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I just really hope Match.com uses this as a promo. :joy::joy::joy:

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You should leave both men alone. Imagine a man dating two women unbeknownst to them. He’d be the world’s worst person. Also, I’d never want to be an option. If you don’t know for sure you want to be with me, leave me alone. It’s either me or it’s not. I’m not an option, I’m the only choice or no choice at all. :woman_shrugging:t4: Generally, when thisbhappens you choose one and when it doesnt work out, you choose the other. Which is wrong. Noone wants to be second choice.

Imagine how both of these men will feel when they find out. If the outback guy knows about your boyfriend, then he probably doesn’t really care about you he just knows you’re not going to make him settle down since you’re in a relationship already. Girl, stop.

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I mean… it sounds like you rush into a relationship and fall hard for that person until the next comes along. So this new guy is gonna be great for how long?

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You sound like a teenager.

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