QUESTION:
“I have been married for ten years, and I’m currently having an affair with my husband. The love has completely gone out the window, and we are practicing with each other for the kids. The guy I’m seeing is my friend’s husband. We are madly in love, and he won’t leave his wife and three children either. We are scared we would lose our children in the process. Please help; what do we do?”
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“First, you need to come clean and be honest. Being cheated on is so incredibly hurtful. Then, you go to court and get joint custody. Your husband deserves as much right to the kids as you do. Your kids will be better off in two loving homes than in one where there is no love.”
“Break it off with this other guy since he is married and doesn’t want to change that. Then I would end things with your husband, let him find someone who wants to be with him. You don’t need to be together to raise your kids and it’s better if your not if you don’t want to be in the relationship.”
“If he does not plan on leaving his wife why are you ruining your family for him. Honey get out now, I had a friend lose custody of her kids. She had to pay him child support. Just think is it really worth it? There is no future with him, he has already told you that sweetie.”
“Leave your husband. You’re not happy and staying in a relationship for the kids is not a good thing to do! Trust me you’ll realize it later in life. If your lover doesn’t leave his family that’s on him! Do the right thing for your or you’re going to lose your kids respect and have a whole mess of other issues!”
“Your kids won’t get taken away from you, but if they find out what you did then they’ll probably want nothing to do with you.”
“Obviously stop the affair. Start counseling, both alone and as a family. Be honest with your husband.”
“Having an affair is not grounds for losing your children but you need to come clean with your husband and friend.”
“Better to be honest than keep this huge secret before blows up in your face cause the truth always comes out! You guys will be caught! If you don’t love your husband he deserves better than you stop dragging things out longer than need to be!”
“Stop, step away, sit your husband down and talk, express how you’re feeling, try and relight your love for each other, if it doesn’t work you walk away, then you can move on, with whoever! Basically stop the lies, the secrets and be honest!”
“You have to tell them, both of you, of course it’s going to break up a family and the kids will be sad because they don’t want to lose their parents. But they can’t keep the kids from you guys. Or if you don’t like that idea, either way you need to tell them it’s only right! You and your husband can take marriage classes, but you can’t keep seeing your secrets boyfriend. I wish you two best of luck!”
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