I Am Having An Affair And Do Not Want To Lose My Kids: Advice?


“I have been married for ten years, and I’m currently having an affair with my husband. The love has completely gone out the window, and we are practicing with each other for the kids. The guy I’m seeing is my friend’s husband. We are madly in love, and he won’t leave his wife and three children either. We are scared we would lose our children in the process. Please help; what do we do?”

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“First, you need to come clean and be honest. Being cheated on is so incredibly hurtful. Then, you go to court and get joint custody. Your husband deserves as much right to the kids as you do. Your kids will be better off in two loving homes than in one where there is no love.”

“Break it off with this other guy since he is married and doesn’t want to change that. Then I would end things with your husband, let him find someone who wants to be with him. You don’t need to be together to raise your kids and it’s better if your not if you don’t want to be in the relationship.”

“If he does not plan on leaving his wife why are you ruining your family for him. Honey get out now, I had a friend lose custody of her kids. She had to pay him child support. Just think is it really worth it? There is no future with him, he has already told you that sweetie.”

“Leave your husband. You’re not happy and staying in a relationship for the kids is not a good thing to do! Trust me you’ll realize it later in life. If your lover doesn’t leave his family that’s on him! Do the right thing for your or you’re going to lose your kids respect and have a whole mess of other issues!”

“Your kids won’t get taken away from you, but if they find out what you did then they’ll probably want nothing to do with you.”

“Obviously stop the affair. Start counseling, both alone and as a family. Be honest with your husband.”

“Having an affair is not grounds for losing your children but you need to come clean with your husband and friend.”

“Better to be honest than keep this huge secret before blows up in your face cause the truth always comes out! You guys will be caught! If you don’t love your husband he deserves better than you stop dragging things out longer than need to be!”

“Stop, step away, sit your husband down and talk, express how you’re feeling, try and relight your love for each other, if it doesn’t work you walk away, then you can move on, with whoever! Basically stop the lies, the secrets and be honest!”

“You have to tell them, both of you, of course it’s going to break up a family and the kids will be sad because they don’t want to lose their parents. But they can’t keep the kids from you guys. Or if you don’t like that idea, either way you need to tell them it’s only right! You and your husband can take marriage classes, but you can’t keep seeing your secrets boyfriend. I wish you two best of luck!”

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I have been at the deception end of an affair I have been the one lied to and cheated on. I think the lying is what makes it harder to be nice about a divorce. Especially if children are involved. If you are honest about your feelings and tell your husband you want a divorce I believe he will be accepting of equal divorce and joint custody. The reason the person lied to wants to hold custody over the other person’s head is because they want to hurt the other person that hurt them. You aren’t thinking right when you are angry. Its best to break the affair off because you both have families that you don’t want to hurt but I don’t think he will ever leave his family. If the affair wasn’t with you he would have someone else. Whether you want a divorce or not think about it this way do you think if the other person left their family and you ended up together he would be faithful to you? Get smart and get honest.

What would you want your husband to do if he was cheating on you and you weren’t? Put yourself is the other persons shoes. Now life relationships are so hard. Once it gets to hard for someone they leave the relationship instead of trying to work it out and get counseling. You have strength in family. Personally I think cheaters should go to h3ll. Own up to your mistake and have balls enough to leave your husband. Your kids are gonna grow up thinking it’s ok to cheat and break people’s hearts. Making it even harder to find an honest relationship.

Youre not much of a friend if you’re sleeping with her husband.