How to cut off toxic family?

Would any of y’all feel bad for cutting " toxic " family members off ? Here’s my story back in 2010 I had a blood clot in my lungs ( we didnt know until it was to late ) my mom literally let me sleep for 3 days straight and on the 3rd day I woke up … Finally with my oxygen levels of 2% . fast forward to 2014 and my mom started depositing my deceased grandparents pention check into my chase bank account … Needless to say it’s negative 8000$ and they’re suing me . she claims I have money . fast forward again to 2015 ( when I had my oldest daughter ) my mom was watching my daughter while I worked I came home from work early to my mom being passed out high off drugs . fast forward to the year of 2017 when I moved to another state with my youngest daughters dad and its been he’ll since . she doesnt come visit , yet she claims she misses us and needless to say I’ve ALWAYS went and visit them . fast forward to this year I gave my vehicle to my sister and they never switched it over to their name … Again I fell off with them and they kept drivint around with the vehicle in my name and recieved a speeding ticket that was 165$ and she refuses to pay it and so I had to pay it and my mom says " well you owe me money so pay the ticket " my question is should I feel bad for loving them from a distant ? Every keeps telling me " she’s your mother and gave you life … You should forgive her " how could someone forgive someone who keeps repeating the same hurt over and over again ? I just wanna hear others opinions . TIA


nope. toxic is toxic regardless of who it is. cut them off. and take back the car if they’re not gonna put it in their name


Your not wrong at all. I would never trust her with my child again! Sounds like you gave her many chances and she’s not changing.

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You can love her and forgive her and she can stay the heck away from you from now on :metal:


Nope. The hell wuth them. That’s not family.

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No!!! Cut her off! That is a damn mess and sounds like she’s nuts! Do not ever feel bad for cutting bad fruit off of your tree and protecting yourself and your kids from someone who is making your lives harder.

I’ve cut my entire family (except my mom) and a bunch of friends off for a lot less


Cancel the insurance for that car!

She obviously has no respect and love for you so why should u be forced to ? Toxic is toxic no matter who or what .

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Mom or not, she needs to go. And whoever is telling you to forgive her also needs to go.


Nope you have the right to cut toxic people out of your life.

Nope. I don’t care how the family is related- toxic is toxic and I ain’t got time for that! I deserve better. So do my kids.

Nope ditch em. Would you allow a man to continue hurting and abusing you? Nope. Just because you share DNA doesn’t mean you have to stay. Protect yourself. You matter. Your feelings matter. Move on and heal.

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You’re nuclear family (you, kids, spouse) come first and don’t feel any guilt for doing everything neccesary for theirs and your well being. This means laying healthy boundaries with family members and then abiding by them…

You gave her plenty of chances. Some people just dont deserve to be in our lives.

Leave them where they are and get on with life. They disrespect you honey. Don’t let them do of again. Lesson should have been learnt a long time ago. You can keep in touch, don’t give them anything.


Just because she is your mother doesn’t mean you should have to put up with her shit.
They say blood is thicker and water. But blood always seems to be more toxic than the taco Bell shits. Cut them off. They don’t give af about you and just want to use you

Nope. Toxic is toxic.

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Haven’t spoken to any of my 6 sisters in YEARS except 1

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If she doesn’t change the name of the car report it stolen take it back sell it to someone who will want it. Then let her go in sorry but she ain’t changing any time soon.


Cut toxic waste from your life


I’m so concerned with my happiness and the happiness of my children that I will cut anyone off these days. Even leave the state if I have to. :joy::v:t2:

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Giving birth to someone, does NOT a parent make! ACTIONS speak a whole lot louder than words. I too, had a very toxic “relationship”, (if that’s what you want to call it), with my incubator. 20 plus years ago I finally told her to “go kick rocks!” BEST decision I EVER made, as her toxicity also was effecting my marriage & children.


At this point she is no mother, only the person that gave birth to you. I say cut her off completely and take her to court for all the crap she’s done to screw you over.

Just because they are blood doesnt mean they are good. Never feel bad about letting go of toxic people. If they can’t love you right that’s there problem not yours.


Not at all. She’s done enough bad things to you over the years! Take care of you, your kids, spouse!

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Nope. Toxic is toxic. Doesn’t matter if it’s a parent or acquaintance. No one needs that. Your kids come first!

Nope. Toxic needs to go. Youll be better for it

A ticket in your car wouldn’t be cause for you to pay it. Only if they used your license.

BUT anyone driving your vehicle still in your name you’re liable for any crashes or if they run over people or anything like that in it.

Absolutely not! Her attitude and the way she treats you is disgusting! You owe her nothing!!! Get your name off that car!! You paid that ticket now you have points on your license! You could have went to court and explained the situation. Smh. I’m going through a terrible situation with my mother, iys a long story but I had to end up coming back to live with her and it’s been hell ever since. I’m now in the process of moving out in a few more months. I’m to the point I want nothing to do with my family ever again! They have done nothing but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually abused me. I cant even believe how disgusting family can be to each other! Its sad!! Get your name off that car. And keep your distance. Maybe one day shell get off the drugs and wake up and smell the coffee and realize what a wonderful daughter she has.

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Leave to ice people alone. They don’t care about you so show them the same and stop giving them stuff unless you take it out of your name first

Um no. I cut my whole family off for being toxic to me and mine. Hubby did the same. We’ve never been happier. Sure, it’s hard, but it’s better to have a psychologically healthy momma the a damaged one. Good luck to you.


Get yourself away from her! I agree that toxic is toxic. Your babies come first. I have a similar story! My mom had a severe drinking and gambling addiction. I thought she was so much better and agreed to let her watch my 3 year old while I take a weekend away with my husband. I get called less than a day later because the police showed up…long story short. My mother took my child to a restaurant, drunk drove home with my child then did drugs in a closet until my step dad found her and my babygirl left alone for who knows how long. We no longer speak! I suggest joining a Narcissistic Parent support group because that what it sounds like you have!

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I dropped my parents after growing up neglected and many instances where she told me she was giving me her old car but then turned around and gave it to my brother that wasn’t hurting for money. A lot of bad stuff has happened and after a miscarriage in January and no emotions from them, I dropped them. Haven’t talked to them since and I don’t care too. If they cared they would have tried a lot harder than they were(n’t). You’ll be ok if you do too. If it’s better for you and your family-do it.

Cut off just like a cancer and wouldn’t feel one bit sorry or bad.

My mother isn’t nearly this toxic, and I cut her out of mine and my daughters life when she was 2 weeks old she’s now 8 months old. It has been the best decision though also the hardest one that I have made. Cut your ties and you and your family will flourish. Good luck!:grin:

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My dad was a drug addict too. Love from afar. You have kids to protect.

I’d cut them off…I’ve been there helped family over n over again then they said I’ve never been there for them…toxic is toxic…do it for you. Otherwise it will drain you dry.

Fuck her. Best decision I ever made in my life at the age of 16 I cancelled my bio oven from my life. She was a complete druggy, and a horrible person. She stole my identity my lil sisters. She has abused me my entire life. Toxic is toxic. I realized I never loved her. My dad is the best man ever. Ppl dont need to be in your life if it causes more problems then good. Cancel her out of your life. My oldest sister asked me the other day said if she dies what am I supposed to do I said throw her in the dump.

No it’s not wrong. My cousin cut off her own father bc he was a toxic mess. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them it just means your done letting their lifestyle an poor choices affect you… I mean so you want your daughter to grow up thinking she can do that kind of stuff? Bc you lead by example so stop being a push over and keep them away.

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Dear, it’s says to forgive, it doesn’t mean you need to continue helping them!! Forgive and move on!!


Cut her off. Do whats best for you.

No never feel bad I have cut out most my family out, sisters aunties uncles in laws feel much better for it less stress do what you need to do

Seems like they make REALLY poor choices & are bad role models for the kids. See them as little as possible (if at all), do not leave your kids alone with them ever, take back the car, and use them as a cautionary tale of what not to do. Be prepared for them to be mad at you, but it seems they just want to use you. I’m sorry. Glad you have moved on with your life. Good for you!!

Anyone can be a mother. Its a special person that deserves title mum. Your unfortunatly dosnt. Me personally would stay away

Not wrong. I know someone who got a legal emancipation from their parents.

I kicked my mother out of my life due to drugs and lies. She was really the only family member I had. But it was the best thing I coulda done for me and my 3 kids. You do what you have to do.

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Take the car back and cut their asses off. Your liable for that car in certain things. Toxic is toxic cut em off and be happy

I know it’s hard bc it’s your family and your mom but family doesn’t give them an automatic pass to treat you poorly. Cut these people out of your life

No. Not at all. If anyone makes my life stressfull or they are toxic they are out,

You can still love someone by cutting them out of your life. Focus on yourself and your child. They don’t seem to care about your happiness so why care about theirs? Lifes too short.

Nope id cut her off completely. It’s one thing if it was once or even twice. But she sounds toxic. And you nor your kids need that. I cut my entire family off except my brother cuz they are all toxic.

Cut her off, you don’t owe her a thing. You can forgive from a distance

We stopped talking to toxic family. Live your life without the harassment.

My mom is currently in a mental facility down in hunnington right now and I don’t feel bad at all that she’s there. She has been very toxic torwards my husband and children. She has broken into my house while I was in the hospital in labor , stole all my shit, wrote on Facebook that I was the biggest meth head around and all kinds of shit, and some other hurtful things and guess how she ended up in the mental hospital? She got caught tweeing through high off of meth, flashing people walking in front of cars etc then tried stealing stuff for a store so they took her to jail for that and then switched her to the hospital. Hospital said some of their patients "snap out " of their trip within 3-4 weeks and some never do. I don’t feel sorry for her at all , I cutt her straight out of my life after all she’s done to me and this isn’t even all of it . I’d have to write a series of books to tell you all the shit that woman’s done to me. I always say karma finally bit her in the ass. If I were you and my mom cashed checks that weren’t hers in your account then blamed you for it that would have been the last straw with me.

This is coming from someone who has had to cut many many people that share the same blood with me. I don’t care if that person is my mother, my father, my grandmother, or my child. If they are not good for you you need to cut them off. You and your daughters safety, happiness, n health are most important and it sounds like your mom’s very very toxic. Please remember that keeping that person in your life will do nothing but hurt you and possibly your daughter. It’s OK to love from a distance.

I gotta say…without even reading your back story…just seeing “toxic” is enough…yes…YES you can and should cut them out! Toxic is toxic no matter who it is! If they are no good for you…:wave::wave:!! Good luck with everything!


I would have said adios in 2014. At the very latest 2015. Don’t have such toxicity in your life!!

I have no family — just my kids. Best decision I ever made. Especially, when they are toxic, drama and only want something from you.


Love and repect her from afar…Have no dealings with her/ them that can come back and bite you in the ass.

Honey… You can forguve somebody and not have anything yo do with them. Who says forgive and continue puttinv yourself through it. Tell her your done. Tell her you forgive her trangressions and just move on for all of yalls mental sake. Shell either say fuck you or shell eventually get over herself and decide she wants to be apart of your family… As for your sister is there documentation you handed the vehicle over? Id call the police and report it stolen and if they want it back they put it in their name. Sometimes… Yoi have to be petty to get shit done and clear your conscience.

Ok stop giving your family stuff, and love them from a distance. This is toxic and you dont need it in your life

Cut ties. If its a slow process that’s OK but do it

Cut them off. If sis doesn’t change the title of the vehicle in her name and pay for the ticket I’d report it stolen or at the very least go get it. If you do that then make sure to take a cop with you. Also might want to make sure you have a new title when you go to get it since I’m assuming she has your old one. Might even want to get it put it your SO’s and your name beforehand this way she can’t take the old one down to the DMV and do it after you pick it up and report it stolen on you for payback

Honestly slot of the situations are situations you put yourself in. How can someone deposit something into your account without your consent? Why let someone who I’m sure you know has a drug problem watch your kids? Why not go to DMV and take your name of of your vehicle with a point of sale form? Sounds like alot of excuses to me. You sound just as toxic as them. Stay away or stop participating in the drama


Cut out…I’ve lived this. It hurts so much, but a mother never treats their daughter that way and it will continue to worsen. I had to move 3 states away to gain some sanity. Eventually all my siblings moved even farther away. Love from a distance!

Cut ties immediately. Take the car back too. You will be responsible for more than a ticket if there is an accident. Stop being a door may.

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Sounds like all they do is take advantage…I wouldn’t have contact at all really or do anything for them but that’s just me

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I cut my mum off. Couldn’t deal with the drama I’ve had throughout my life anymore!! It’s tough because you do love them but it’ll be the best decision you make for yourself x

She is your mom but a mother shouldn’t do those things to her daughter cut her off. Don’t let her hurt you anymore.

You can cut her off and still visit her just don’t give her anything that has to do with money

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Dont feel bad about cutting toxic people from your life. Doesnt matter who they are


Sometimes u just got to let toxic people go

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Cut her off unless and until she changes (which will probably be never).

Go get your car and quit talking to them. Don’t feel bad at all.

You’re not obligated to forgive because she’s your mom! Loving her from a distance sounds like the best choice for you and your kids. Don’t feel bad about it. You can’t let people, even family, drag you down or take advantage of you. It’s time to move forward…don’t take all that negativity with you!!

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I read the first sentence and I will already reply.
If they are toxic to you cut them. No one else will look after you if you don’t

Every single one of you that has cut mom or dad out of your lives I’m guessing y’all was PERFECT kids growing up never done nothing wrong…I understand more with parents been abusive as you grew up but some these reasons are petty shit you cut ppl out of your lives!

Honestly, I didn’t even read your back story… It is imperative to your health to cut off any toxic relationship, blood or otherwise! Family is what you make it, not what you were born to…

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I wouldn’t hold the blood clot issue against her
If you didn’t know about it how was she supposed to?
Drugs around your child should’ve immediately stopped grandma being around your child
Get YOUR car back and STOP visiting your mother


It is time…really pass time to say by to them all and get your car back

She may be your Mother but you dont HAVE to forgive her. Keep your distance from her.

Do not hate, or fight the battle…just be the person who protects themselves and your little family from anything that effects you or them personally.
If they want a relationship with you there need to be boundaries that are met and respected.
If need, go get the car with authorities. They will be forced to hive it back or follow putting it in their names. You have the law on your side.
You are an adult now…but you feel like a child with yhem. You have to change that within yourself and quit letting them take advantage of you.

My heart is aching for you!!! As hard as it can be, the long term suffering you will endure by NOT cutting off even family can be even more devastating and hurt your health even more! My mother is a narcissist and out of 12 siblings I was the main scapegoat and some of my siblings were her flying monkeys and others joined in on her smearing campaign to keep her wrath off of them. 3 months ago I cut off my entire family, changed my phone number and left no forwarding address. Me and my 2 children are so much more at peace and already my mental health is showing great signs of healing. If you decide to go no contact, you are NOT a bad person!! Just remember, you can’t take proper care of yourself and heal completely from anything if you are continuously getting hurt. Please take care of yourself!! You DO deserve to be happy and treated like the wonderful human being you are!!! :green_heart::green_heart::green_heart:

Visit occasionally if you want to BUT stop giving anything of value or relying on them for anything. How long does it take to show how they are unreliable & untrustworthy.

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Her love is obviously a need. Making you feel guilty is a strength of hers. Narcissism is toxic. Take control of your life, even if it means slamming the door.


Why tf would you want her around?? She’s clearly a selfish bitch that’s manipulating you. I wouldn’t let her anywhere near me or my family. Blood does NOT mean shit! Cut her out.

Either they return the car by tomrw or you’ll report it stolen. Period. Not your problem if it’s not been changed.
As for mom, cut her out too.
Send them pics of the kids in a Christmas card.
**As soon as you get your car back, change your phone number and block them on everything.
Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to take it. It means YOU let go of their bad energy for YOU. :green_heart:


If they aren’t good to you love them from afar I do and they live 15 minutes away

Get into therapy and start working on how to set healthy boundaries and draw your lines. Once you do those things in black and white and they still keep violating your mental health and your families then you can cut them out of your lives and know 100% that you tried to make it work but they aren’t willing to try. And to answer your question yes, absolutely you should cut them off unless they can maintain a healthy relationship with y’all. When I got sober and started working on my little family and our lives and stability and mental and emotional health I knew I would have to cut the ppl that were still using out of our lives for myself and my husband just to stay clean but I never realized just how far into our families this would end up going. Today, 5 years sober, we can count on 1 hand the family and friends we let participate in our and our girls life anymore. I didn’t realize it was way way bigger than just clean and sober, it’s mental, emotional and physical health and in my family they like to just “sweep it under the rug and never talk about it again”. I know from research I’ve done and experience that this doesn’t work out well in the end but they aren’t willing to work on their ends at all. And my husband and I discuss this issue a lot and we both agree that we are much happier than we have ever been and when we do go against our better judgment and try with these ppl we always end up regretting it and it always ends up leading to arguing and fighting and we’re usually left feeling like shit. So we just DO NOT ALLOW THAT ANYMORE. It’s your job to protect your children in all forms of that word so keeping them away from “toxic” and honestly dangerous family and friends is part of your job. It doesn’t matter who agrees with you and who does not, if they choose to talk to “mom” or whoever that’s their choice but they absolutely need to respect you and your husbands choices for your family and if they can’t then reevaluate your situation with them as well. Therapy is really key with these situations though because they help you figure out what you want for your life and who may or may not fit into that vision you have for your family. And it sounds like you may have been raised in some toxic shit(just like us also) so you probably need therapy anyway. It can never HURT you in any kind of way to go and talk to someone, that’s what I always tell ppl. The worst thing that can happen is it doesn’t work and you’re still in the same boat but honestly if you put the work into it therapy is truly a life saver! Good luck and I hope things get better for your family! XoXo Oh and you and your husband take your asses up to wherever and get your mf car back immediately! They don’t want to pay you for it they don’t fucking get it! And keeping it in your name your just going to end up getting sued when they get into an accident. It’s happened to me and it sucks.

I would stay clear of your f amiley. Sounds like they use and abuse you. Enough is enough.

See ya. It’s about you and your own now.

U did the right thing there toxic

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Blood doesn’t make family…js

Don’t let her do these things to you get her ass sued. You have to earn a place in a family not just by blood

Nope. Don’t feel bad about it at all

Drop them like a hot potato. Don’t look back better off without them

NOPE!!! If they are toxic to you or your children, BYE!!! I’ve cut off many that needed it and life is so much better!!! Just because she gave you life, does not mean she can make that life Hell!!!

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Nah I’d cut her off in a heartbeat. Not worth the stress in your life.

May I mention that since I didn’t show up for easter in April my family seems to think I picked my husband over them … Which I do and would over and over again . my family has never approved of our relationship but will stand next to my sisters relationship and her spouse abuses her. Does drugs … Pretty much he’s just like them so they stand by her relationship . I’ve never had my mom be there for me and I dont think she truly cares , but thank you ladies . good luck to all of you guys as well . at this point I’m taking care of my family because they’re my priority now