I would like some opinions amd advice. I’m currently pregnant with my first and I’m a young mom and getting out of an abusive realtionship and situation. This may seem like it should be the least of my worries and I know , it’s just something I’ve been thinking about. My sons father picked his first name and I get to pick the middle name. Honestly , I can’t say the name the father chose and connect with him. And it makes me feel horrible and like I shouldnt feel like that over something like that. But the father has threatened multiple times to disappear on him and refuse to have anything to do with him … at this point would it be wrong to change his first name ? I’m 31 weeks and we’ve had the same name since 19 weeks.
I call him whatever I wanted and you should too.Sounds like you will be raising him on your own anyways.
You can’t force anyone to be a father and if he’ll leave over something stupid like that he’s not ready anyways
Ummmmmm, the baby hasn’t been born yet so you can name him whatever you want. If the father is that bad now, I don’t want to imagine what it will be like after he is born.
He’s not born yet…there’s no birth certificate. You can make him whatever you like
Look up a Facebook group called Speak Your Truth. It’s for abuse survivors and you will get a ton of great advice there too.
If he is threatening to abandon his son if you dont pick the name he wants he is only continuing his abuse tactics on you even though you’re not together anymore. It’s likely that he wont have much to do 2ith the baby once he’s born anyway and it’s probably best. You dont want an abusive person helping raise your child anyway nor do you want to continue dealing with them and their controlling ways when you’re no longer together.
Name him what you’d like.
Pick the name that you want. Or use the name the dad picked as the middle name & you choose the first name.
If he threatens to leave over something like that he’s already a shitty father and most likely won’t stick around. You forget him and name that baby you’ll be taking care of him on your own it seems like anyways.
Name him what ever you want…Why worry about what he choose.
If he is abusive to you then he shouldn’t have rights to your child.
The dad sounds like my daughters father. A horrible piece of shit. Guess what? He’s still not involved after I begged the entire pregnancy. He won’t change. But you have the power over your child’s name. Name the baby whatever you want because at the end of the day you and your son will probably be on your own. If he’s abusive keep the baby away from him. Protect and stand up for yourself!
I have picked out my baby name. First, middle, and last is as i choose. My SO/BD has no say so in it
OK I have kind of been in the same situation… I was never supposed to have kids, so when me and my very new boyfriend got pregnant very very early into our relationship, I tried to do everything right by splitting it both ways. My ex had repeated several times that he had no say in the names of his other two children, including his daughter’s name that was agreed upon,and then they split up, so when she had her, she didn’t even call him to say she was in labor and changed her name completely without his knowledge. So I really tried to be open minded! He barely even contributed to names other than his daughter’s supposed original name that they had agreed on and then she changed it. I wasn’t going to let my daughter be a second choice name, so I eliminated that immediately. Skip forward to me being seven months pregnant and we split up and still no name was agreed-upon. Things ended up getting pretty dirty, and ultimately he decided to keep a lot of our stuff from the baby shower so I couldn’t even get her room ready at my house. When I went into labor, he was still the first person I called, And he chose to not even come until the third day after she was born. I went ahead and named her what I wanted to name her, and I told him when he got to the hospital I needed to signed the birth certificate. He chose not to, which made her have my last name. Now she will be two in June, And he definitely filed for a name change last February. He is a manchild, so he ultimately showed his ass in court and walked out which made her still have my last name. I feel like an idiot for the fact that I tried to give him every opportunity to make it a compromise! So basically what I’m telling you is that you’re going to end up doing most by yourself anyway,&if he is that petty. You’re the mother and you’re the one that’s stepping up and doing the right thing when he isn’t; and your child will figure that out on his own. Do what you want-your feelings aren’t in his consideration,so why do you feel like you need to with his? You got this momma!!
My sons father and I had a name picked out. It was a name that meant a lot to me for all of my life even before I had kids but as soon as my son was born I changed his name. His father was an abusive jerk. I left him early in my pregnancy but kept the name because it was something I lived up until my son was born. He just didn’t fit the name I had picked out. It’s totally fine to change names. If it’s not something you want then change it.
Cant force somwone to be a father. If u are no longer with the ass hat then you name your kid whatever you want. He will have to deal. If he chooses to leave then BYE. He is trying to manipulate u into doing what he wants. Stand up for yourself and be strong for ur kid. If this guy is abusive dont be with him. He will hurt ur child…ill tell u that right now. In some way that kid is going to get hurt if u are still with him.
You pick the name you want. He chose to be abusive and you were strong enough to leave, so he has no right to tell you what to name the baby.
In Most states it’s the mother that pics the name and fills out the paperwork it must have her signature so talk to the hospital social worker find out what your rights are decide the name you want maybe even fill out the papers ahead of time but talk to the social worker and daddy is an a****** and he’s going to pull stunts like this any excuse to have his way you need to stop this now he is going to be holding this s*** over your head for as long as the two of you are together if you don’t like the name he picked out don’t saddle the kid with it it sounds like you need to get out of this relationship anyway like I said talk to the hospital social worker find out your rights so you know where you stand and get information from her where you could go if you leave him it’s always best to be prepared and it looks like you’re going to be in a bad situation so be prepared ahead of time
Change it. Call him a name you won’t have trouble saying… the name he’s chosen has left a bitter taste in your mouth and every time you say that name to your child, you’ll regret it, and TBH nd frank he’s an asshole narcissist, he’ll do and SAY anything to have control over you! MAMA, TAKE YOUR POWER BACK and name that child after someone in your family that is fierce and strong… don’t give in too his bullshit, coz if he really wanted to be an absent dad, he will be. And a name is just an excuse for him to do it! Fuck him
Pick your baby’s name. If the father leaves he leaves. He is only doing this to manipulate you and continue to be mentally abusive and controlling
Name him whatever you want.
Any male acting like won’t be much more than a sperm donor.
Make sure you see a lawyer and do whatever you have to do to protect yourself and your child…
Like, see everybody with Free Consults ASAP.
I only call my son by his name when he’s in trouble or if I need to get him to stop something ASAP, like eating things or running towards the street I call him little boy, sunshine, my squeeze-bo-beeze! But if your baby isn’t born yet, change it gurl.
Name your kid what you want.
You name him whatever you wish. He sounds like he is a bully.
Change his name if daddy wants to play games n not be around.
Heck with him - you name your baby whatever you wish.
I mean if he wants to leave over a name who knows what else he’d leave the kid for🤷🏻♀️
Pick a good name that you like, your the one going to be calling your son and taking care of him every day. (For the most part) if dad is threatening to leave, chances are he’s going to at some point or another. Do what you think is best for your son and if dad wants to be there for him, great!
Name him whatever you want
Name him whatever you want ! He won’t be in the child’s life anyways
I left an abusive relationship when I was 7 months pregnant and changed the name. Best decision ever.
used my ex’s moms name as her middle and last name, even though I didn’t want to. threatened not to sign the birth certificate if I changed it. long story short I caved and went along with it and 15 months later we broke up and eleven years later with no contact from him I legally changed her name to what i wanted in the first place. my opinion: if he’s threatening disappear he’s already wanting or looking for a way out of the obligation of a child.
Name the baby what you want
He’s gonna bail anyway. Sorry to say. Name him whatever you like.
Name him whatever you want
Sounds like he’s looking for a reason to ditch the baby/child anyways since he has threatened to… Naming the baby what he wants isn’t going to make him stick around and take care of it…
Fuck that guy. If he is willing to leave over such petty shit he doesn’t plan on being around forever. I was in a horrible relationship for 11 years very physical very bad. I was 22 when I had my daughter and that’s kinda how he was. I just came to terms early in the pregnancy that I knew eventually I’d be raising this kid by myself and it didn’t matter what his opinions were cuz he wasn’t gunna be there anyway. Lasted barely a year after she was born right after our 11 year anniversary and I was sad but felt relief most of all knowing it was over and time to be a great mom no matter what
My narc and I had two kids together, the first we had I named completely and I love his name, with our second he guilt tripped me so bad that I gave in and named him what he wanted… I resent it but love my baby … name what YOU want
Name your child what ever you like.
you pick his name & say hell with him. hes abusive? as you stated? So i wouldnt even want to have him around. Dont let him bully you.
Change his name and dont let ex on the birth certificate. He doesnt need an abusive dad.
DO NOT listen to these women… The dad has a say until he proves that he’s not gonna be around. If you take away the name he chose you’re setting him and your child’s relationship up for failure… You never know how he could bond with your guys’ son when he sees and holds him for the first time and it’s VERY selfish and unfair for you to be this way because of how he treated you. My dad was the absolute worst husband imaginable, (cheater beater and anything else terrible) to my mother but he was always a great father. Don’t intentionally take your son’s father out of his life, it isn’t right.
Me and my son’s dad had baby names picked out. After he walked out on us, I couldn’t even think of using one of those names without crying. So I picked a different name. I don’t feel bad about it either.
Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t name your baby. It’s your child and your choice. I was forced into one I didn’t want and even the nurse outdone me. But at least it was only a middle name.
You might see the child and decide the chosen name suits h or you might say nope neither names you have choose suit. I had a few names picked out we forgot the lists and only one from the list Was used as it was a family name.
Omg no screw him, I didnt leave my abuser until our son was close to one…so I let my abuser pick my sons name and have him my abusers last name to try and make him happy. It never keeps me from being attached or bonded to my son, but it does piss me off still lol. Name your baby whatever you want!
Screw him dead beat and name the baby something you love that is what nick names are for if he don’t like the damm name
Name him what you like… That man is already halfway out the door love.
Definitely don’t name him what he wants. Find a name YOU love.
If your husband’s like that now what’s he going to be like later control control control Carol Ann
Change the name if he isn’t born yet
My ex has a three year old daughter with his ex and they had an abusive relationship. Mostly the woman though. He’s still around his daughter but threatens to sign off his rights to her often, things have escalated to where he’s currently being held in an er last I knew because of him being “high risk” as a mental patient. Scared that he’s going to hurt himself. When he gets mad he throws a fit saying he’ll just walk out and make your concern a personal attack and your own wrong doing. For things about like how he should probably be looking for a job since I’m 31 weeks and he plays xbox all day and starts yelling and throwing things if you interrupt him for ANY reason. He’s started packing his things while his 3 yo was around and kept screaming at everyone. Thrown a pack n play on the ground because the family he lives with wanted him to wake up so he could put his daughter to bed. (after he was screaming about how its bs that shes there in the first place when his ex had just given birth to her second baby and couldnt find someone to watch 3yo) he’s abusive. When he gets mad it knows no boundaries. You can tell he’s hurting and that’s whats really painful about it. He’s hurting over something but he’s completely unwilling to do anything for himself. He didnt threaten to leave our son because of a name , it was because I was trying to ask him what kind of cutody thing we should work out and if he thought about it yet. I’ve been asking since 16 weeks. My worry is that if I change his name that it’ll send him off the deep end. Again. I have multiple mental and medical issues from the relationship with my sons dad and talking about it or thinking about it sends me into episodes that mimic symtoms of MS or other nero disorders/diseases. I dont want to be that person , but I dont know if I could ever really be okay with his name. And the way it’s going with his 3 yo , he’s been seeing her less and less over the course of months now. Only sees her about once a month since about December.
Change it. Don’t put him on the birth certificate. Trust me, abusive relationships are not good environments for you or your son. Don’t let him try and scare you into anything. You are the mother. Do what is best for you and your baby