Girl you can message me with any questions I have a few kiddos and dealt with toxic family members each pregnancy
Get away from them all… u nor child needs that kind of drama in your life… child needs good role model not ass holes… what kind of mom doesnt stand with their child…? I love mine and would walk through fire for him… so sorry. Know that’s not what u want… but it is what u need…
Does your mom have to be in the delivery room? Isn’t there someone like a good friend that is nurturing rather than stressful in your life? And if so tell your mother that she lost the privilege for telling her you she was going to beat the shit out of you! You don’t need that crap!!
Nurses will put them out. I had my step mom & hubby & sister. Not my real mom because shes always trying to fight everybody and anybody…or my mil Because she wasn’t here or i would’ve had her in to…
Don’t think about anything but having your beautiful baby coming into the world. Sometimes you get these family members that say the wildest things that confuse you, hurt your feelings, totally infuriate you or all of the above. Just dont over anaylze any of their word bombs that they drop on you! You scream, yell or yodel …whatever helps you with the pain. And it would probably ne an excellant idea to have a support person with you in the delivery
room. Someone who can laugh about things later with you. maybe your family has always been tbis way, or maybe are you suddenly feeling hurt by their comments just lately because u are in a more emotional condition?
Either way, you’re going to do fine! Good luck!
Education is very impowering so read as much as u can, Know what your body is just doing it’s job the pain will go away and soon you will forget the pain. Baby holding kinda does that to you.
Your mom’s a c*** and he’s selfish.
Wow Like your not supposed to scream,Holler something during childbirth,I’m sorry your mom is so rude to you You should be her princess,I wouldn’t tolerate that shit for one minute
I wouldn’t let her in the room and that way she won’t hear you scream if you do! This is your child and your birth story! You get to choose who is a part of it. Sorry, they are being unkind. But you can do this, this is what our bodies are made for.
I wouldnt be having my mom their if that’s how she is
Dont have her in the labour room. Maybe in fact just move out. Go to a family or womans shelter. Sounds like they are abusive.
I went into my labor terrified bc of all the horror stories. It was no where near the torture I’d anticipated. Every pregnancy/delivery is different. Don’t allow them inside your head. You’ll end stressing through your entire pregnancy. Trust me by the time you finish all your prenatal appointments and carrying around that baby for 9 months you’ll be so ready nothing will phase you. Welcome to the adventure of motherhood.
Everyone is different,but I say they have meds,I personally believe in Epidural? If someone loves you and has taken a role in your life its should un-conditional love,if he has been in yiurblife that long blood should not matter,you choose to be the Grandparent that baby will love you,he shouldn’t say that! Tell your Moma your 19,probably scared so she should not make it worse,show more compassion to you! Just be a responsible,loving,caring Mom! Ignore negativity!
Simple say well you don’t have to come to the hospital and you won’t hear me scream. As for her boyfriend well I would say I’m sorry but I have lost some respect for you after that comment
Tell your mom she needs to respect you. If she cant then she dont need to be in your room while your delivering.
Your support should come from some one who “actually” supports you. Labor and delivery is so scary esp ur first child. My daughter is 19. I could not imagine not crying a long WITH her! (While trying to remain calm during that special moment). It’s support! Anyone that’s had a baby knows how scary and hard it is. My mother told me to do what o had to do to deliver my baby. She told me to keep reminding and telling myself that it won’t last forever and soon it will be over with. Being pregnant is the BEST part of having a baby in my eyes. Congratulations.! Babies are always a blessing.!! Don’t get discouraged by what ur mom says. She wrong. You do what u feel you need to do…and rememeber to breath! It will be over soon and all that anticipation will be well worth it! Good luck
Can I just ask the person who posted this how was ur up bringing with ur mother an step dad an for them to say an do things like tha to make u upset is terrible u should give birth to ya baby with the help of the lovly midwifes an run as fast as u can away, from these toxic people I know it’s ur family buh ur baby is ur family an does not need to grow up around these types of toxic people as it may rub off on ur child an either make it like them or have very bad issues because of them seriously run the fuck away as fast as u can live a happy loving life the way u want with ur baby u will become best friends dnt worry no one is ready for their first child regardless of age hun trust me I weren’t ready I was so scared but now my baby girl is my lil Bestie they bring the most calming unconditional love its like ur whole life is complete an u dno wa u did before u had them trust me u got this! I wish u an, ur baby good luck with wa ever the choice u make plz make the right one for u an, ur baby xx
Fuck that. Don’t let her in, you don’t need her there in the room, you can do it yourself. Do NOT let her go in there with you, it will only stress you more which can cause your blood pressure to rise and all other kinds of complications. Keep her and him OUT
First I’m due in January and I’m much older lol it is painful so if you scream its understandable just dont let that scare you its really temporary in the grand scheme of things. your mom is toxic my dear and sounds immature I definitely see why her sassy attitude is hurtful to you. I’d find a different support system for your babys day of arrival cause she will make the experience worse than it needs to be. Congratulations on your baby I Seriously hope things get better for you.
Don’t be around her or him . Take a break and worry about yourself.
Just. Because she is family doesnt mean she isnt toxic to you or you’re child and fine this isn’t his grandbaby and you’re not his kid fuckem dont ask to be called pop pop or expect presents or anything he made his place very clear. That’s what we are doing with shitty people making comments like that this year
Cut them out of ur life you don’t need that
Wow, how rude I simply wouldn’t have her there and I’d scream my damn head off, yes it fuckin hurts and it can feel like ur dying, u need a supportive person there that is helpful and calming not someone threatening u, wtf- mom fail there for sure. If baby’s fathers mother could be there, maybe that would be more helpful to you
Don’t allow them in the room during labor i had 7 ppl in the room i was 17 with my first I hit the call button when I sas in intense labor I asked that she had everyone go to the waiting room because I couldn’t concentrate Including my daughter’s father I was more at piece calm and relaxed after that
Hey love! I’m due in a month as well and also 19 lol. My advice would be to not have her in the room and honestly as for the boyfriend if he wants to treat you that way he doesn’t need to be treated like a grandfather.
Easy don’t have them in the delivery room
Open your mouth and tell them your thoughts and say no one is allowed in the room but u and childs father
I’m also 19 and have been a mom since 18. I’ve dealt with lots of family issues too. If you need some advise or someone to talk to you can dm me:hugs:
Just let it roll off your shoulders. And I wouldn’t let her in the room when your delivering
Keep her out of your labor and delivery experience, knowing you can make whatever noise you need to make and not offend or disappoint her. There is a waiting room for a reason, that’s where they wait. The labor and delivery room is for you, not them.
Turf them all … let’s see her squat and pop put a grapefruit and shes not to scream … Girl you sound like you got a family like mine .
Dont have her in there as a coach hun … do you have an aunt , BFF , babys dad … bring them in . Labour hurts like a b!tch yes you’re gonna a cry scream and beg for mercy … that’s all part of birthing! And you need SUPPORTIVE people … not them .
so sorry ur experience is like this.
I have no advice other than its ok to tell her she won’t be in the room.but shes also ur mom and u would want her there…
I hope u both figure it out!
I had the honor of photographing my first birth… it was her 3rd baby and a vaginal birth… she was amazingly so quiet & calm through 99% of it but when that babies head came out she was yelling at the top of her lungs & rightfully so… I’ve had three children but I had never witnessed a birth before… the human body is amazing., Personally I don’t think I would want my mother in there if she’s saying rediculous things like that… every person is diff and every birth is diff so if she can’t be loving & supportive I would chose someone who is to be with me…
Don’t let your mom in the room with you. If you step dad doesn’t consider the baby his grandkid have you child call him by his name.
They are the ones missing out. You’ll see when you have your child - if someone can treat their child poorly, biological, non-biological, young, old - then there is something severely wrong with them.
Get on your feet and get away from them. Set boundaries so that this toxicity does not carry into your child’s life.
This is a new life. Your new life. It will be beautiful. You and your child deserve it. Don’t let them poison it
Have her blocked from your room this is your day. With her attitude she needs to think about what she says
Tell her she doesn’t have to worry about you screaming bc she can’t hear you from the waiting room anyway.
It’s not only about the delivery. You need to stand up to them now. Tell them it is none of their business and you got this. If they don’t have something nice to say they need to keep their mouths shut!
Im really sorry, that should be a special between a mother and daughter, and husband, im so glad i was there for my girls,
Don’t talk to them, then when they ask why tell them the truth
Tell your doctor and hospital that you don’t want your bitch of a mother and partner in delivery room. Tell her if she lays a hand on you that you will have her charged with assault.
God has a greater plan for veryone
Don’t have her in the delivery room if she stresses you. It will be such a sensitive and overwhelming experience without that added stress. Honestly, have your baby and reassess your feelings afterwards. Once you hold that baby in your arms your whole heart could change. What once seemed so important will seem meaningless in comparison to this life that now relies completely on you. Maybe your parents are being insensitive because they know you are more emotionally stable then they are and it makes them feel insecure. Who knows. All that matters now is that baby. Good luck and God bless mama.
This is your child and your life changing experience. Don’t let them ruin this beautiful time for you. The hospital will grant your wishes. Not theirs. Don’t have anyone in the delivery room that will cause you anxiety or discomfort. Have your child’s father or your bff with you. They are not entitled to be there.
I am about a month and half out from delivering and have had issues with rude family members as well. The best advice I’ve been given is that at the end of the day you have to do what will make you comfortable. You are the one who will be going through labor and raising your child. Don’t let what others, family or not, say affect your decisions. It can be hard but you’ll be thankful you listened to what you needed at the end of the day.
Move out of their house
Tell her not to worry about the screaming you can’t hear nothing in the waiting room
That’s sad that he said that. My mom is absolutely my kids’ grandma even though she’s not my “real” mom. And about the screaming, let me tell you - I read all these books, did all these things, didn’t matter when I had my second child (even knew what to expect at this point!) I screamed “no!” At the top of my lungs the entire time I was pushing her out lol. No shame in that! Tell your mom to mind her own business!
Family is a circle of friends who love you. Find the kind & supportive people in your life to be with you and help you raise your baby. And get the epidural. Took away my pain & gave me a slight buzz. Keep mom & stepdad at arms length. Sounds like they are afraid of your power, bravery & are scared of responsibility. Have friends or other friendly family members take care of you during labor, delivery and post partum. Mom & her BF will probably come around once they meet your little one. If not, choose substitute grandparents. Plenty of lonely older people who would delight in having a young woman & baby to dote on.
Do not let your mother in the delivery room and you can distance yourself from them you don’t have to stay away completely but cut a majority or your time away from them they will either change for the better to stay close with you or they won’t and you can either move forward with out them or with limited contact you decide
Well actually he’s not the grandparent. My fiance says the same thing with my grandkids and it doesn’t bother my kids at all cause he’s only the step grandparent and by the sounds of it your mum is really scared and she might not have had a bad labor with you. I didn’t find it as bad as people said it was going to be
I wouldn’t even let her know when I go into labour or anything seems like a selfish bitch
I wouldn’t tell them I was in labour for starters
And second of all. That would have hurt my feelings BIG TIME
I’m don’t let her in the room with you so she can’t stress your out in there
Don’t have her in the room. Sounds like a right bitch.
Keep her out of delivery room. Get your own place and tell your mom to shut the hell up.Being nice to her is NOT working.
I was lucky enough to be in the labour room with my only daughter and her partner on all three grandchildren the first two births were just amazing everything went well and quickly but on the third she had her water broke when i got two the hospital she was nearly there but things were getting scary she was begging for something stronger than gas air and she was screaming but that is the only place acceptable sounds like your mum isn’t helping its not her right to be there ask a friend good luck
You tell him to stay out of the delivery room they are not welcome they have no right to hurt your feelings this is not the time nor the place or any time for that matter
Keep them out of the delivery room if that talk to you that way
Keep them out. Dont need extra stress or preasure.giving birth of a child is going to hurt since he or she is coming out of ur body. You have the right to scream. Prayers for a safe delivery for you both. Its going to be ok
They both sound like shitty people
Child birth is not easy. Its emotionally and physically exhausting. Don’t let ur mom in the delivery room. U need only positive vibes. There were certain family members when i had my twins that weren’t called until the babies were born. Its not about them its about u and urs
I screamed once when I had my oldest and both the midwife and my ex-husband ridiculed me for it. I had five more kids in miserable determined silence. Don’t let people scar you like that.
I have no idea which family members you are referring to, but all I can say is any advice you receive from any one on THIS side of the family comes because they love you.
Tell your mother real families don’t have steps they are families with all levels of relationship !!
Reminds me of my mother and my family. They def all do say things. But the moment im in labor. It all changes. But after thatm i never tell anyone im pregnant lmaooo i love it and best pregnancies i have
Don’t have them there in the room no one needs stress or negativity on such a wonderful day
- Tell your Dr you don’t want her in the delivery room.
- I was raised that if you’re with someone who has children, those children become YOUR children. If that bf really loved your mom, he wouldn’t say those hurtful things to you.
Don’t let them ruin this for you. Being a mother is the most amazing, albeit scariest, wonderful experience. I have 3 awesome kids… I wouldn’t give away even on the worst days. Good luck! Congratulations!
Call her after the birth of your child not before
My response to her screaming comment would have been “lol how would you even know you’re not going to be there”
And then do exactly that… not allow her in there when baby is born
Depends on how you plan on giving birth because you are an adult and it’s your choice they can give you the iv epidural and any stress you have will disappear no mater who’s in he room . If you plan 100% natural you can chose to have no one in the room with you but the doctors and nurses. And everyhospital I’ve been to they understand and see it every day and know how to keep you calm and relaxed especially if you need a C-section the first time I had one the nurse was telling me everything that I’d feel and what was going on to help me stay calm I it wasn’t for him I’m sure there would have been more stress while I was tied down
Mom told you what BF said? Why? What is her problem? No one while in labor room and delivery room. Let the nurse know, they are very protective. Screaming? No that doesn’t happen Dr will make sure if delivery is to hard you would probably have an epidural or C-section. It isn’t like all those movies. That is what I thought would happen but wasn’t at all. I sure hope you don’t live with her!! So depressive to even listen to her, so stay away for a while??
You can ABSOLUTELY tell the wonderful nurses who to allow in and who not to allow in. My nurses were the BEST. Draw your lines, keep your boundaries. Childbirth is HARD no matter how it’s done. If you need to scream, you scream, if you need to cry, whine, and complain the whole time do it. If you find yourself mastering it like an Amazonian goddess, good for you! You do you and what’s best for you and that baby.
Stay away. That’s how you handle them. Don’t allow negativity into your life.
Tell them to stay out of the delivery room you don’t want them there.
They have no right saying those things to you.
You don’t need that .
Your better off with out them
It’s not just rude. It sounds toxic and unhealthy. You’re an adult, and you can choose who goes into the delivery room with you. I’d inform your mother she’s not allowed in if she can’t provide you with support. I’d also not allow them around your child until they can get their act together.
My best friend’s mother and father was the ones who were there for me and my baby.
It is what it is, she isn’t going to change now. Find a better support system. They are not going to be it. And it’s not your fault.
You need to go to someone that has your back, whether a best friend or another family member. Ask them to be in the delivery room with you to support and help you. Make a birth plan with them. Have them keep your hospital go bag and use a code word for it you have contractions. Dont tell your mom or her bf anything until after the baby is born. I was 17 when I had my first baby and she was premature. You will need positive and supportive people around you. Obviously in the end it is your decision and I hope the best for you and ur baby
Don’t let them in labor rm and leave them out of your decisions. Find someone else in family who will make you feel food about yourself and baby.
If you haven’t yet you need to get a life move out where is the father it takes two
Let the bridges be burned and dont rebuild them. If they’re not happy about your child then no need to welcome them into your child’s life. Think bout what’s best for the baby you dont want them growing up with the negativity. Also dont force people to be in your kids life, if they want to be then they will show it and be there for the child along with support and respect you otherwise let them be. Just do what you can to be the best mother to your kid
You should take all the Answers to heart .
From a mom of 5
Do not let them be in there with you. Exercise your right to have them removed. Also never allow them to speak to that child that way either. Start protecting that child now. Congrats on your baby! Enjoy with people who will celebrate every moment, even the pain that you will have. Its inevitable.
Then I’d tell her to stay home until after it was over. What kind of response is that to tell your own child? I didn’t feel anything during labor. I couldn’t tell you what a contraction feels like. I’m grateful to have had two births that easy. But that doesn’t mean it’s not extremely painful for other women and for your mom to threaten you is absolutely horrifying. If she’s acting that way now, then tell her to stay home. Problem solved. You get a semi stress free birth and she gets to miss a major milestone due to her behavior.
Find a better support system for you and your baby! Bless you both.
One when you go to deliver don’t let them in I would rather be alone than have someone downing me and I would want good memories with my child. It will be stressful enough. Two when you are in the position it might be better to move out of moms house if you are living with her it sounds toxic to me. Use your resources in the community and stuff until you can get on your feet
First if all he should have been accepting of it to begin with. It is your life and your child’s life. Don’t let them know until the baby is delivered it’s not there right to put stipulations on you and the delivery.
Trust me that will change. My sons grandfather isn’t his biological grandfather but let me tell you that man LOVES my son like no other. That is his grandson.
As for when your in the hospital you can request they not let your mother in the room.
You are an adult…19 years old, take control of your life. If your mother continues to be a toxic person in your life you x her out of your life. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you, demand respect from your mother or she simply shouldn’t be in your life. Find yourself a positive, loving, & caring support system.
Sweetie this will be one of your greatest events of your life think positive and don’t let any nit pickers ruin your God giving right so lay back speak up against negativity be cool and congratulations to you
Don’t have her in the delivery room. Anyone else may be better choice.
That’s one momma/grandma that won’t be in the delivery room.
It’s there los. Stay away from them. You need your peace of mind
I wouldnt want them around…
Join Gentle parenting
Ignore them. You have to focus on yourself and your child.
Take a friend and call after the baby is born and you are home
Do not have her in the delivery room!!
Do what we did. We never let anyone come to the be hospital until it was over.
Rude? More like toxic!
Scream if you need to!