How Do You and Your Spouse Split Expenses?

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"I’m curious how you and your spouse/SO manage money, split bills, contribute, etc. My husband and I both work. He pays for his vehicle note, the house, and electricity. Most of the time he gets the groceries as well. I pay my vehicle note, car and boat insurance for both of us, water, cellphones/electronics for all of us, the kids doctor bills, prescriptions, school stuff, clothes, registration fees, equipment, etc, and those “in between” grocery runs. We split the cost on smalller things like Hulu, Netflix, formula/diapers/baby stuff. I recently switched jobs, so between checks I had to borrow from our joint savings. He is the one who contributes to it, though, if I borrow from it - I always pay it back. Of course, with the switch of jobs it’s taken a little longer to pay it back, but I’ve paid 90% of it. He knew I did not have much left over after that, but needed me to grab some things for the baby. Fine. Well, I asked him if he’d pay for those items since that cost left me with practically nothing. The man is now lecturing me and telling me I need to pay more than I owe to savings plus the money I am “borrowing” today (which is the money I spent for the baby stuff). It’s just frustrating because he gets paid and moves more than half of his check to savings. That’s awesome. I envy him. But at the same time, I’m stuck with random costs after bills and gas for my vehicle are paid - basically my leftover earnings are expendable"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"We put all our money in one account and discuss big purchases and pay all bills out of it. We share as a family. Especially if your married"

"We both moved what we needed to cover bills into our bill accounts and moved the rest into our joint account. It was all our money and all our bills."

"Not everyone is going to be the same at all with this conversation. My husband and I put all our money into one account. We calculate all the money needed for bills and move out the extra for groceries, gas and fun into our spending account. We talk about any big expenses over $40. We also have learned to check the account before swiping the card. This works for us."

"Our households functions as “ours” not “his” or “mine” we have a joint account in which we pay our household bills out of, and discuss big purchases with each other."

"I’m having trouble even relating because even though my spouse and I have separate finances, it all goes to the common good of house and family. If some unforeseen large expense pops up, whoever has the extra funds covers it. We don’t keep track, it’s not something that needs a score kept. I think I’d be rather insulted if he presumed to lecture me about something like that."

"We are a team/partners. Our funds go to one account. We go over our budget regularly, discuss goals/wants/needs and set aside money for our savings/kids funds/etc."

"We have a shared account we both contribute to to pay all the bills with and we each have our own account to spend how we want."

"We pay 50/50 of everything that is used by both or family"

"All our money goes into the same bank account. So whatever bills come out the money is there"

"We got a joint account before we were even married because it made sense for our situation at the time. That’s been since we were 20 going on 12 years and money has never been an argument. We see it as communal and nothing is “his” or “mine” because bills, groceries, kids stuff, and even fun stuff are both of our responsibility. I know that doesn’t work for everyone but it has been a blessing in our marriage that we have never had to argue over who is going to pay for what and figure out what is “fair”. It just all comes from the same account and we are 100% a team."

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