How do I leave my relationship?

Open the door and go!

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Omg honey I think you already know what u need to do for u and your children . Leave and dont look back

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Run and don’t look back you will be so much happier in time

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Leave before you get something you catch wash off in the shower.
Work on yourself and get yourself straight come to the  realization that you don’t NEED him. Change is scary I get it but you can’t force something to happen if it was going to it would just work.

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Make him leave and don’t let him back. Your the one working and taking care of 3 kids. Why uproot them. If your taking care of everything now YOU CAN take care of everything while your alone. He needs a therapist if he’s paying for sex and having sex fixes on the phone. I’m assuming your not married. So it should be easier to get him out

It’s hard to leave bc you love him. And regardless of what’s going on he’s the father of your children and there’s a biological wish to keep the family intact. Maybe he gaslights you “it will change” “you would break the family up over a rumor” etc. it won’t be easy. Expect to break down in the shower- after kids go to bed- when a song comes on the radio. Then you take some deep breaths and get up and carry on bc life doesn’t stop and neither will you. Therapy can be good to help rebuild yourself. Even if things seem good get a custody order. Those a super important. I would work on figuring out where you plan to live as well and start getting boxes or talking to the land lord about the situation etc.

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I’d be getting tested & changing some locks. He’s been with however many ppl & then touches the children??? That should piss you off enough. :face_vomiting:

Love yourself and your kids first. Leaving is the first step. It will hurt but do u want to keep hurting for the rest of your life? Do you want your kids seeing this and possibly going through this? That should be your push. You got this. You may not think you do but you do. Trust me when I say you deserve happiness.

Listen. From a single mother of 3 kids myself…. If I can do it, you can do it. I finally had enough and made my ex leave 3 years ago in July. I had NOTHING. Not even $1 to my name and no Job. I was babysitting on the side for some cash. I was left with a house that was already behind on all the bills. I ended up finding a job, daycare and catching up those bills and living in that house for 2 more years. Redid the lease in just my name. My credit score was a 380 and today not even 3 years later sits under a 700. My kids are happy and healthy. My 2 oldest daughter does competitive travel cheer and middle daughter does competitive travel dance and soccer and my son just turned 6 and is picking what he wants to do. I am also back in school full time earning my bachelors degree. I have no family help her except my dad… who I don’t even trust to stay with them more then a couple hours at a time and no over nights. If I can do this… so can you. Please message me if you need any help or want to talk. You’re right, it will not get any better. I’ve actually had family members of my ex come up to me in the last year and apologize to me. Saying how sorry they were for Believing my ex and what he said about me because here I am with all 3 of my kids crushing it and he is with a new girl doing worse now then ever. You will get there. Believe In yourself. And if at first you can’t leave for yourself… leave for those babies. Remember you are worth it :heart:

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It’s so hard because he’s likely your first love, and he’s the father of your children. We always want to see the best in these two people and when they’re the same person I imagine it is even harder. With that said, if he’s paying for sex outside of your relationship you need to end it as quickly as you can. Even if he didn’t pay for sex, again, he obviously has zero respect for you to have done it the first time. Depending on your situation, go through the legal process of kicking him out and then change the locks. Change your number, cut all communication until you’re able to be around him without letting him back into your life as a SO. It doesn’t sound like he wants to be a dad so I don’t think you’ll he keeping kids from him or anything right now. So separate yourself from him completely so you can move on. He has a lot of growing up to do.

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Apply for housing, get a custody child agreement set up and he might get mad and leave for good. Once he leaves, change the locks. Then when he comes back have his Leave and call the popo next time he shows up

Aids HIV is a real thing :unamused: protect yourself at least for your children if you don’t care about yourself and still dealing with his nasty tail :nauseated_face:

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And he’s 3 years older than you since you stayed both ages :weary: you was 16 he’s was 19 :woman_facepalming:t2: he likes younger females period

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Pack your bag or 9 and carry them out the door to your Prius, and ride off into the sunset to your mommies. Your behavior (and so is your boy-toys) is too juvenile to take seriously. Listen to yourself…going thru phones, asking friends to prank call numbers. You act like a juvenile.

Leave before u catch something,you have your kids to think about too…

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It’s hard to leave bc when you got with him, your brain was still developing. You’ve ignored the redflags for a long time. You’ve put up with disrespect and lies and that’s all you know right now. You have to teach yourself what you need and deserve in a relationship. Seeing that he needs to go, making him leave, calling him out, all good. But shove his ass out the door. Lock it. And don’t open it again. Send him an email about all the things he’s done to you in your relationship that made you leave him. Tell him in the email that he can email you, not text, not call but email. And only about the kids, nothing personal. And then get a lawyer and file for a custody agreement and child support. Until court is done, being the kids to a park with a friend/family and he can see his kids at the park. Don’t let him take the kids by himself until court is done.

Why would you ask him if what the s#x worker said was true. Her number is in his phone. The number didn’t put itself in his phone. You need to decide if he is the role model you want your kids to become like. Having children together is not a permanent tie to him where he gets to do what he wants and you have no options. You have plenty of options. When we say we love someone that behaves that way we don’t actually love them. We love who we thought they were and the life we thought we would have. And that brings alot of grief because your hope for the future is tied to a person who isn’t who we thought they were. First you need to understand you’re own worth and believe in your own strength. You can and will have a wonderful life without him if that’s what you choose. You’ll be scared but fear won’t hold you back. Mum of 7. 2 with additional needs. Single mum for 5 yrs now. And I’ve carved out an amazing life.

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You are only hurting yourself if you stay!!! Run!!! You got this!!! You can do anything you put your mind to! I believe a way will be laid out before you❤️ sending you love and hugs!!

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And that is your problem. Why after 3 kids is he still a boyfriend! You are an adult- you are responsible for your children. Stop worrying about a useless user that apparently has no respect for your or the children he fathered. Get out- you don’t have time to feel sorry for yourself. You are a mother - you have to be the survivor. There is help start looking- and not for a man

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You have 2 options. :woman_shrugging:
1.) Walk away
2.) continue to live your life with worry of a repeat

Stand up for yourself AND KIDS…stand your ground get some legal advice so you hopefully get financial responsibility out of him for his kids

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That relationship needs to end and u need to check yourself for stds.

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It sounds like you know what to do, but it’s difficult. Perhaps eliminate the things that make it difficult? Find someone else to help u with your kids. Seek family or friends’ help. Get some counseling. Find some resources. Perhaps even go to litigation if that makes things easier, although it’s usually just hard in a different way. Good luck, girl. You deserve respect and love.

If he’s paid for sex before he’s doing it again. Don’t let your kids grow up and see the abuse and disrespect because eventually they’ll understand. Put your kids first, always.

Prayers for you to make the right decision.

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I know exactly how you feel except mine was not paying for it it was a skank he had been seeing on and off since 2008 the last draw was last year. I told him I was done, I went and filed for a divorce I told him it was a freaking huge slap in the face, I hate being antagnoized and laughed at he came back with well we were not laughing at you I told him when they were having sex and texting she knew he was married he knew he was married and they were doing their thang that is making fun of me by me just sitting back and allowing it by staying with him. The fool end up shooting himself taking out his mandible yea he lived. But like i told him he was JUST LIKE A freaking PEDOPHILE it does stop (no he is not a pedophile)) but they can’t stop and he cant stop whoring around. he hit me last november and I sent all teh pictures of my face and him slicing up my couch with a knife to his whores and told them welcome to my world they can have him but i just wanted to show them and let them know he is not such a nice man as he portrays him self to be. he has a violent temper and no it was not the first ime he has done it. But they can have him they come and get him hell I will will shove tuck, what ever the need to be in to their car and they can take him with them

hun he will NEVER stop even though he is telling you he is not doing it or he will never ddo it again. It is one revolving door he geos out he will come back in through that same door. Leave and get awya

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I hope you’re using condoms

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If this is the way you enjoy living-- continue to stay with the shit head! I had three hids and left !! Have made it to a better life! You should also!

Amen amen bless to you sweetheart

If you have some place to go take your kids and go. When you can be in a safe place to think straight you may realize whats right for you and your children. Its hard to leave because you have children with him and all these problems have become a Habit. To break the cycle you need to be some place quiet for a while. Do it for yourself and your children. Figuring it out correctly is the only way to decide whats right and wrong.

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Just know that you could get diseases from him being with different women. The trust is gone and although sounds like you’re trying to hang onto what you had but don’t want to. It will never go back to what it used to be no matter how you try. I wish it could for you but for your and your children’s sake you need to do something as soon as possible. I know you just had a baby 6 months ago so hopefully family can help out a while. Good luck to you and ma God bless you in your days ahead

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My advice is to reach out to trusted family and friends that are close by asap and see if you can stay with them temporarily. If that isn’t an option reach out to women shelters. Let them (family, friends, experts) be your support system through all of this. They may be able to refer you to therapy. I highly recommend it. You need to DOCUMENT all of this get a notebook &go back and document past events. Most courts don’t care about cheating but cheating with a sex worker may be enough to get you custody. Save the # and any proof you have. It should help you in court. Immediately file for divorce AND CUSTODY of the children. Also asap get tested for STD’s. Apply for Apts in your budget if there aren’t any in your budget apply for income based housing. It doesn’t have to be forever just long enough to get your feet on the ground. If you are struggling go to your local DCF office and you can apply for Medicaid, food stamps, &financial assistance. They will also have info on woman’s shelters, food pantries, churches& various organizations that will help with bills, food,& clothes.

Dependence
Run for your safety and that of your children. Or change the locks put his stuff Beatle on the porch and don’t open the door. If needed call the police to help evict him
Yes it’s hard but it’s worse to have your children see you treated so poorly. Get counseling for you. Talk to someone you really trust

It’s always hard to leave when u have kids but the plain fact is he won’t stop . I was married to a cheater and womanizer so I know they don’t quit. There’s help out there for u so check it out. Good luck

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It’s so easy for you to keep letting him come back because it’s what you’re use to that’s your comfort zone regardless of how he’s treating you. You truly won’t leave him for good until you’re ready regardless of the advice giving to you. One of these days you’re going to wake up and the thought of him will disgust you and it will be so much easier to walk around but you have to learn your worth before that day will come.

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Next time he’s out change the locks and put his stuff outside

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Your self respect is going to continue to diminish each time you allow him back and allow him to continue cheating on you with paid women. This behavior is not good enough for your daughter and so it should not be good enough for you. If you have boys, they will pick up on this behavior as well. Staying in a situation like this is harmful to you and very harmful to your children. Love yourself and your kids more than this boy and the safety net he seems to represent. It is scary to leave but as time goes on, you will see it is the best thing for you! Look into low income housing or rental assistance and see if you qualify. Look for a job you can do at home or day care assistance. There are also food and medical county programs through the state that can help. Get out!!

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What’s the emphasis on her age for? She’s legal :woman_shrugging:t4:

Make sure you have a separate bank account and start putting whatever money you can into it. You will need to have something to provide for yourself and your kids.

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There must be a reason he is doing this. Paying for sex is not the same as having an affair. There is no love involved in paid sex. Would you both be willing to get marriage counseling? If you stay with him, I suggest you make him get tested for aids and sexually transmitted disease before you have sex with him again. As for your self-esteem, he is the one doing wrong, not you. Are you keeping yourself up? Do it for yourself, not for him. Because there are children involved, I would try to save the marriage, but it takes two, not just you.

You can either stick to your decision to get rid of him…or risk your own health…do you have to contract a life changing illness or death sentence before you get it? Queen…you have to live in order to care for your children

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Have you ever asked him what he is wanting in your relationship sexually?? If he is seeking sex then there maybe something others are doing that he is craving. Do couples counseling and see what’s going on before just taking off. Sometimes it doesn’t work and you still leave but the question is: Is the relationship worth saving for you and the children?

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it the fear of the unknown, like how will I make it, how will I pay the bills, will anyone ever love me but do what your heart tells this is no way to live

You have to be absolutely sick of him and his lies, then you will leave and never look back. Get PISSED and hold onto those feelings, especially when he is trying to sweet talk you into staying. He will never change. People don’t change, they only learn to lie better.

Don’t usually say this, but figure out how to get out of the relationship! If he’s paying for sex, you don’t know what he’s catching and transmitting to you
!

Draw your boundary lines and stick to them.