How Do I Handle My Dad's New Wife?

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QUESTION:

"So I’m trying to figure out how to handle an awkward situation. My Nana passed away Saturday night and I’m flying in for the funeral on Friday. The problem I’m facing is that my Dad’s new wife will obviously be there. When I say I hate this woman with a passion is an understatement. My dad cheated on my mom with her while my mom was going through chemo and radiation. She knew my dad was married and she knew my mom was sick. They got married 2 months after my mom passed away. I’ve also had issues where during video chats with my dad with my kids, she would butt in and even tried to get my kids to call her the same name they called my mom, which obviously threw me over the edge and I cut contact for almost a year. Since it’s my Nana’s funeral, do I just grit my teeth and bear it? What do I do if she comes up to me and tries to talk to me."

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Ignore her. Walk away from her, if she does it again tell her to let you attend your grandmothers funeral in peace."

"Walk away hun. You are there for your Nanna. No one else. Save this for another time. So sorry for your loss."

"Your dad knew he was married too right?? You’re holding her in a class different than your father, but they both made the same choice"

"I would just walk away. If you have to talk to her keep it short and civil."

"Just walk away. Say nothing and walk."

"You politely say “I’m sorry but I am grieving right now and prefer not to speak with you.” And then walk away."

"I’d honestly just go to the funeral and be respectful as to not cause a scene at your grandmother’s funeral but i wouldn’t be able to forgive that or have a relationship with either of them. But that’s just me"

"Be civil. It isn’t about her. It’s about saying goodbye your loved one. Set boundaries so there’s no question where she stands with you."

"You owe nothing to that woman. I would continue to not speak to her and if your father doesn’t see his wrongdoings then you already know."

"I’m sorry for your losses. I think since it’s a funeral you probably will have plenty of ppl to talk to so if she comes to you just excuse yourself an Walk away. I hope you can handle this for the sake of your family. Adn never would I allow my kids to call her what the called my mom. That’s too much. Sending prayers for you"

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