Soo my daughters dad is moving in less then two weeks to Florida and we already went to court to set up all his visitation down in florida. As we are finishing up discussing it all with the judge he said he wants a whole year of not seeing her so him and his girlfriend can settle in and have some them time. How do I explain to my daughter that she won’t be seeing her dad for a whole year. I don’t want to tell her that her dad doesn’t want her down there for a year because he wants to have time with his girlfriend. She’s gonna be so heartbroken! How can I go about this without hurting her ?
12 Likes
Why in the world would a judge even allow it. You don’t get time off just because you have a new girlfriend you’re still a parent.
31 Likes
It’s not your job to disappoint your daughter on his behalf. Id make him tell her exactly what he told you, furthermore I wouldn’t be sending my kid in a years time either. If my child’s father could go an entire year without seeing his child he’d be going the rest of his life.
10 Likes
What kinda judge actually allows this of the father? Anything over 6 months of no visitations is called child abandonment. What a horrible judge and father. This world has gone bat sht crazy smh
7 Likes
I would definitely make him tell her. Why should you have to break the news to her and break her heart. Let him do it.
6 Likes
He’s going to abandon his daughter for an entire year so that he can spend all his time with his girlfriend? Wow. I hope he never gets to see her again. Your daughter deserves so much better than that.
6 Likes
Depending her age/maturity, tell the truth…never lie…shes gonna aak even if you dont tell…but he wants to pretend to be a man…its HIS responsibility to tell her
6 Likes
Without hurting her is an unrealistic expectation, age is a big factor here but parental rejection is a life long hurt. She needs to know that it’s not her fault and there is nothing she could have done to make him not want to see her, explain how he’s not healthy she needs constant reminders that she is loved
5 Likes
He needs to tell her and his reason not you! This is his decision making the gf more important than his child!
2 Likes
I would make her dad tell her that his self everytime she asks you what’s wrong tell her to ask her dad
2 Likes
Her age would seem to be important on what you would tell her, or how you would tell her. He should be the one talking to her about it.
2 Likes
When she asks to go have him call her to explain this
1 Like
She’s gonna be hurt it’s unavoidable when a parent refuses to see you. I’d suggest getting kiddo into therapy bc they will need the extra support to process. And be prepared for the emotional turmoil that comes with parental abandonment. Be firm but give them grace bc this is a big thing in their life. Dad prefers a GF over them and they’re realizing dads love isn’t constant.
I think it’s okay honestly. Why wouldn’t I want to give my child’s father time to get himself together for my child ? Especially if the courts are involved . Every parent deserves that type of opportunity . it’d be only evil and detrimental to show that child anything else . This is what happens when you have 2 different households you have to raise this child in .
Just need to sit down and tell her the truth
1 Like
Um let him tell her. Every time he speaks to her tell her to ask him when she is coming to see him. His responsibility to tell her he is abandoning her, not yours
If this is a continuation of another post…If memory serves from the previous post this move has ate up all of Dad’s savings and he doesn’t quite have a job completely secured as of yet.
The mom in that post was concerned about dads ability to provide airfare for himself and the child (he travels to pick her up, they travel to Florida, they travel back to drop her off, and then dad travels home) as well as his ability to provide for her needs in his care.
If this is a continuation of that…
It seems likely a judge granted this year at the behest of BOTH parents’ concerns.
(This stipulation makes it to where dad is not in contempt and doesn’t fall into category of abandonment as it’s part of a custody agreement)
Allowing dad to secure a job and build a little savings that will allow him the financials to provide transportation as well as having a room set up and other things the child may need.
I would tell your child that her father used up his savings to move. He wants to wait to take her until he knows he can financially provide for her while she’s in his care.
It may still hurt her feelings but it’s a valid reason that she can understand.
4 Likes
Make your ex tell her, it’s not your job to give her his bad news. You just have to be there for her in the fallout.
Prayers for her and Dad. Amene
My guess is- he’s setting up to basically not see her anymore. Because after that year, it will turn into “Well, she got used to me not being around, so it might as well stay this way.” My guess is the new girlfriend doesn’t want the child around, and he’s trying to please her. Don’t force visitation. It could lead to resentment and potential abuse.
If he wanted a year off from my child he wouldn’t see her for a lot longer then a year!
2 Likes
No, you absolutely do not tell your daughter that her dad does not want her down there. Which I think is absolutely insane of him anyways and disgusting. You tell her he’s been super busy with moving and work and eventually she may catch on and stop asking. She’ll realize he’s a loser on her own over time sadly
1 Like
Why do you have to tell her. Her Dad should be the one telling her
17 Likes
I would tell him that he needs to explain that to her, and he also needs to accept that after abandoning her for an entire year, she may not wanna see him. What a terrible person he must be.
You say, " let’s say bye to dad and count down the days until you get to go visit and see his new place"… and then you enjoy a blissful solid year of not having to deal with him much because he’s clearly a whole ass douch
Was thus an updated post, because yesterday it said nothing about her dad not wanting her down there for a year? Or is this a different post that is very similar?
Why are you explaining this to her? Make him tell her
2 Likes
Tell her the truth if you don’t she will hate you for lying to her
Why is it your responsibility to tell her… shouldn’t this fall on her father to enlighten her with the news… moms do TOO much…
1 Like
I’m going to speak from experience. I sugar coated it for years with my son and all it did was prolong the hurt, and cause a lot of anger to be directed at me. Be age appropriately honest. If he’s like this now, it won’t get any better.
I would tell her never to bother with her dad again. If he puts his new wife first, she is in for a lot of heartbreak. He’s a fool and will regret it
You don’t let him explain it if he can’t cut contact too many deadbeat parents around