I have a best friend who doesn’t have a significant other or any kids, I have 3 kids & I’m married. I include her in a lot of family things she comes over for birthdays we all painted pumpkins together for fall and I definitely try to include her when I can. Me & my husband are planning a disney trip with our girls during Christmas time and she’s been saying how she really wants to go. She’s already including herself in out holiday activities and stuff. I want it to be just us and have some family time but rn I don’t even want to go because idk how to tell her no. I feel like a bad friend but I do just want it to be us sometimes.
It’s family time . Explain Although you’d love for her to come and have a good time it’s a time for you to be with your family and when you return you can catch up. She will understand if she’s a good friend
Be honest and don’t make excuses. Just tell her it’s just for your family. You can celebrate with her later.
Just have her over for a Christmas dinner before you go. Make her feel loved and celebrate Christmas with her.
If she’s your true friend she will understand😀
If she feel so much love in return for you. She would understand❤ you are a great friend.
If she’s really your best friend, she should understand.
It is called setting boundaries and it is ok to do that. If she is true friend then a simple conversation she be able to be had and she will understand and if she doesn’t then perhaps it is time to move on. I say this after I distanced myself from my own best friend of over 20 years because honestly our lives went in different directions and our lives were just not aligning anymore.
Tell her you’d like for you all to celebrate Christmas together before you leave, but that you’ve decided to make this a mom dad kids trip. Don’t feel bad, you aren’t disowning her, just telling her you’d like special time with your hubby and kiddos.
Just be honest, tell her you want some family time. It’s out of your control how she reacts but you need to set boundaries. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her as a friend if you don’t want her to come.
I would say, “Let me ask my husband, and then just tell her He said No, it’s just a Family Vaction”
OP - “I know you really would like to come, but I’m just planning the trip for me, hubby and kids. It’s a cance for us to connect”
Friend - “oh, I thought I was part of the family? I’m feeling hurt”
OP - “I understand and I don’t want you to feel hurt. We love you and we enjoy spending time with you but I feel like this trip is an important opportunity for us to have one on one together. I’ll be so happy to do other things together when we get back”
You can set a boundary while still being gentle.
Be firm but understanding. Make it about connecting with your immediate family unit. Good luck!
Your gonna lose your best friend period. So good luck. You sound like a fair weather friend … only want her around when it’s good for you
Just say what you just told us. Hey it’s nothing personal I love you to death but we are really wanting this to be our little family trip and enjoy our kids together. Maybe later yall can plan to go another time or maybe she can plan a trip herself? Lol idk. As disheartening as it is she is still your best friend and you should be honest always. She’s family.
be honest tell her you love her but sometimes you need your family and not extras
I would just tell her . But also I would probably like a friend there so she could watch kids at night and me and my hubby could spend time together just a thought
Simply say that this is just a special trip for your immediate family and you’ll plan a special day together for another time. That’s it. Must have boundaries without regret. I personally find it rude when ppl try to invite themselves to things. If I didn’t invite you then it’s not an invitation. Period.
Just tell her it’s a bonding trip for you and the family.
Why not just do Christmas Eve and Christmas morning together but invite just for dinner and then plan a just family eve.
Be honest with her and tell her this time it’s just you, your husband and your children
just tell her. I mean if she’s truly a friend she’ll understand.
Twll her you and hubby need some well needed couple time and also time with the kids tell her you can spend Xmas together before you go and you’ll bring her a present back etc xx
Boundaries!!! Your being a bad friend by NOT telling her how you truly feel and setting Boundaries girl enjoy family time while you can and if she’s any kind of friend she will understand completely with no hard feelings
Ju as t say hey we’re going to do just family for this trip but we’ll do a friend Xmas thing later and maybe do something with her at a separate time
Just tell her that you want to do a “just you guys” holiday. She’ll get it. If she doesn’t, you might have to have a more stern talk with her about it.
Friends are friends there are limits.She needs to find her place & just let her know it’s a family vacation. She’ll either accept it or not once you tell her,the way she handles it is on her,if she is a true friend she won’t have any problems with your decision…Good luck.
Just tell her it’s a family vacation only. A real friend will understand. If she doesn’t, there’s your answer.
There is nothing wrong with telling her that it will just be the family going. Be honest with her!
If she is truly your best friend then she will understand when you tell her that this is a family trip and she is not included
I would bring her with you guys and use the extra set of hands for a little alone time with my man.
My best friend IS my family though. She’s my children’s godmother.
Just tell her, if she doesn’t understand that, she’s not a friend.
Be honest! Tell her what you’re feeling, and let her know no hard feelings but this trip has been planned for my husband and kids! And you do gotta watch best friends” those be the ones that trying to make moves on your man! Just tell her no this time!
It’s as simple as we plan to have a family Christmas. What are your plans for Christmas? Boom she knows she’s not invited.
If you don’t speak up it’s your fault. Act like an adult and set boundaries.
Be honest with her an express that boundaries need to be made as your lives are not going exactly in the same direction right now but I would still include her in someway.
You should’ve been prepared to tell her she wasn’t invited when you brought your plans up to her knowing she’s always included.
Tell her the truth. However she handles it is her business. You don’t have to feel bad, explain yourself or anything else.
Well , if she was that great of a friend you should not be worried about how to talk to her .
Just tell her that this time is going to be you , your husband and the kids
Just tell her upfront. You don’t have any boundaries. She’s doing what you allow!
I would include her and it’s great because instead of hubby you have now an extra set of hands she loves you and your family you should appreciate that
Why wouldn’t you include her ? Shes alone. Thats pretty sad.
Say what you just said. If she’s a real friend she should get it. Even if she has to be alone. Unfortunately.
I don’t know your financial situation so this may not be possible but could you maybe plan a shorter Disney trip with her for the future? I know that’s not realistic for a lot of people but I live 2 hours from Disney so it’s not that expensive to do a quick Disney trip.
Since it hasn’t been asked or addressed that I have saw, what does your husband think bout it? And is she close w him too or just your best friend?
You can say no and still be a good friend. Be honest and tell her you and your husband need bonding time with kids.
Just tell her you and your husband just want to spend time with each other and your kids
Just be honest, plain and simple. Do it now before it gets too late. Can you update us?
Just tell her not this time.
Tell her the truth…if she is really a friend …she will understand…just tell her that you need that ALONE time with your family…good luck
Does she not have any family or does she secretly think your more than friends?? I mean including herself in every Holiday with your family is very sweet but also probably alittle awkward for your husband who’d probably enjoy some just family time… I’d probably have a private conversation with her and try to make girl time and family time different…
She definitely should not go that’s crazy that’s your family
You just have to tell her. I understand something like that, it’s a big trip. Is she expecting you to pay as well?
Tell her she’d have to pay for herself but you guys would like to go as a family for this and you will do something before or after…
She needs to grow up and get her life away from just you guys
honesty is the best policy.
Just be honest, this is a family thing.
So is it just your husband and you and your girls going? No extended family? You can point that out. “We’re going as a family alone to bond and connect with each other. Our immediate family isn’t even coming.”
Tell her that your husband wants it to be just you and the kids for family time sometimes I have to pin things on my husband
You can’t let her saying she wants to go means she asking to go with your family. If she ask you directly to join you and your family just tell her it’s going to be just us. No excuse.
Ugh what a spot to be in. I think it’s an uncomfortable truth that you have to be clear about.
I wouldn’t even say anything, sorry
She doesn’t have to be included in every single thing
Tell your husband to take one for the team!
Is she paying her own way…if not, tell her sorry, just family.
Just be straight up with her and say this is going to be just the family only
u just say no. its not hard to do
What she looks like maybe I’ll take her out
Just be honest with her. If you don’t go just because you don’t want her to go, you will eventually start to resent her and that’s not fair. You are close enough that it should be just fine.
B.O.U.N.D.A.R.I.ES girl. Be honest about your feelings. If she can’t respect it then I’d evaluate the friendship. That’s just me tho
If she’s any kind of a friend she will understand
Stop telling her your plans.
Tell her its ur family only going if u dont want to hurt her tell her ur staying with relatives
Say girl love you but we can make plans when I’m back for something for us but just wanna have quality time with hubby n kiddos this time
If you don’t wanna tell her you don’t want her to go just don’t tell her what days you’re going. Just say I’m not sure yet, book it all and don’t say anything. She’ll find out you went when you’re already there or when you come back.
Just tell her it is family only.
She sounds like a really good friend, accepts you and your family. If she’s as good of a friend as she sounds, sounds like she could understand if you’re honest with her. Also, maybe if you do go on this trip with her, possibly suggest a just family time as well as she could help with your kids so you and hubby could have alone time as well. But communication is absolute key. She won’t know how you feel unless you say something. If you say nothing, you could burry it in you and then end up using it against her later on (not meaning to of course, it just happens, we all do it eventually). I would honestly have a conversation.
Then you tell her just that. “This trip is guna be just the hubs, kids and I” if she a true friend she’ll understand
Tell her the trips been post poned and yall are doing something small with your husband and kids and unfortunately yall need this time to enjoy the family and only family yall can always do something when yall get back but
You could agree with her and say it’d be fun to do something like that with her too - and suggest like… let’s all go to six flags or something next summer! Idk.
Make it a future plan to do something along those lines (doesn’t have to be as expensive or extravagant as Disney)
Ask her if she can keep an eye on your house while you’re gone
Tell here the truth. It may or may not hurt her feelings. Its better to be honest then lie. It may ruin the friendship for a bit. If she is truly your best friend then she will understand. I’ve learned the hard way of hiding the truth doesn’t get you anything so just be flat out honest🤷🏻♂️
Hard one but the suggestion are good if you don’t set that boundary now she’s gonna become a toxic friend if not already believe me I went through that finally had to set a line and not feel bad about it
It’s ok to want a family only vacation. Don’t rob your kids of an experience. If she’s your best friend she should understand.
Just tell her you love her and that you understand she wants to be included in holiday fun stuff but you and your husband want this trip to be a chance for your family to reconnect and bond during the holiday.
Everyone saying just bring her…there is nothing wrong with just wanting hubby and kids there. Not everyone brings extended family on vacations and this is the same concept. Her just assuming she’s invited is strange anyone even if you include her on holidays. I woukd just tell her you can get together before or after but this trip is just for you, hubby and the kids.
Be honest. Tell her that it’s a trip for you, your husband and your children. Do something before or after with her.
UR not a friend then to begin with. Grow up on your open heart.
Hell if you can’t do it get ur hubby to, I don’t think he will have a prob telling her no lol
Give her no details, no dates , no flight info , no hotel info, nothing!
What if your husband is involved with her in calling her to the holiday … just saying:crazy_face:
FYI Disney on Christmas Day is horrid. So many people. I will NEVER do that again!
Blame it on your husband just say he wants just family and thats that
If she’s a friend. She will understand with no hard feelings. Just tell her.
Be honest don’t cancel
Your families trip
It’s not your families job to fill her cup
So don’t know your situation but I applaud you in including her because I’ve been that person and it’s so nice to have a friend like you.
That being said:
I would be straight forward and just tell her that you’re excited to have an experience this Christmas with your husband and kids. If she gets upset then she’s not a real friend.
One of my best friends is going to plan a trip away soon and our families do a lot together. I asked her if we could tag along as well and she said she wanted family time and I respect that.
If she’s a good friend she would understand when you gently tell her that the Disney trip is just for you your husband and your kids.
I would make some suggestions of things she could do instead maybe go on a couple dates. And perhaps you can splurge on a spa day for her as a gift and schedule it during that time that you guys are going to be gone. Be sure to include her in a Christmas dinner prior to you leaving and some fun festivities.
Best friends will understand
Just have a Christmas with her and your family a few days early.
You should be able to talk to your best friend that you include in everything, very sincerely with no worry or feeling bad. She should understand! That’s what friendship is about.
Nope. You can still be a good friend with boundaries. Just sit down with her and explain you love spending time with her but some things are just for your family.