How can I regulate my daughters sleeping pattern?

Does anyone have any sleep advice for a five-year-old, who I’m pretty sure has her nights and days mixed up like an infant? My daughter will fall asleep anywhere between 7 and 9 pm and sleep okay until 11 pm or midnight. Some nights we get lucky, and she sleeps until 2 or 3 am, but then she’s up until 6 am and then wants to sleep until 10 or 11 am. She gets her best sleep from 4 am to 10 am usually. And I’m exhausted! We use melatonin, and it helps her get to sleep but does not help her stay asleep. And giving her extra melatonin when she wakes up doesn’t do anything. She doesn’t seem to be having nightmares or night terrors, just isn’t sleeping…yet I know she’s sleepy!!! I’m at a loss.


Maybe the melatonin is giving her night terrors?

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Keep her up later also had a dr tell my Slster in law to give benadryl at night for five nights to rest sleep schedule.

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maybe she has Insomnia.

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Do you try giving her a nap during the day? She may be overtired !

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If she takes any naps cut them out. Whem my daughter takes a nap she won’t sleep at night. Keep your daughter up during the day…it sounds like you just need to get her on a schedule. My daughter goes to bed at 7 on the dot and sleeps until I wake her up at 6-630 the next morning and doesn’t sleep at all during the day.

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My daughter does the same thing. I did no naps, take away electronics, exercise, and make her go to bed later.

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Wake her butt up at 7/8 am stop letting her sleep in and no naps during the day anymore.

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Can you handle keeping her up to midnight wake her up at 6 Keeping her up all day the following day maybe an hour nap but make sure she is back up by 4. Then keep her up until 9 and try putting her down if she doesn’t fall asleep until 10 or 11 that is ok follow the same pattern and see if that works I because it should adjust on it’s own.

You have to do the melatonin in smaller doses many hours before bed for it to help them sleep longer. Not big doses right before. My son is adhd and we have been going on the advice of the doctor on how to help and that’s one of the recommendations. I’d say to speak with your doctor for help because small children shouldn’t use melatonin regularly unless there’s an underlying health condition like autism or adhd. It’s good for resetting clocks and adjusting but not for regular use. At least that’s what I’ve researched and been told by doctors. If her sleep schedule is off then there could be other things impacting it. My youngest ended up having sleep apnea and needed surgery to have adenoids and tonsils removed so he could breath at night properly and now he doesn’t wake like that anymore. Good luck.


Dont let her sleep past 7:30-8am… wear her lil butt out during the day…

I’d ask doctors for physical with a work up. Could be physical like thyroid or something

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Melatonin could be adding to your problem- it can backfire and not help instead of helping…

Check when she is watching tv/tablets. I’d recommend making sure they are off at least 1 hour before bed, but each child is different she may need it off before then!

I agree with looking at her schedule. I don’t know that I would cut a nap completely (if she takes one) but shorten it maybe? If she isn’t taking a nap you might try a “rest time” during the day and see if that helps too - sometimes more daytime sleep is needed to make nighttime sleep happen.

Let her play HARD outside after dinner time. For at least an hr. Maybe 2.

Wear her out. Then a nice lavendar bath, a story, and I bet she will sleep like the dead

No naps during the day my son wakes up at 7 to 8 goes to bed about 9 to 10 like clockwork and trust me if he wakes up a hr late he stays up an HR later. You have to get her on a schedule or else she will just keep doing it over and over.

Increase physical activity and have her get up at the same time every day. Also, look into extended relief melatonin. Of course talk to pediatrician before adjusting medications

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Melatonin keeps me up all night with awful dreams

Don’t let her go to sleep till later maybe? Give her the melatonin around 10 pm and see how that works. There’s also sleepy time tea. If nothing works you might have to go to the pediatrician and have them prescribe something better

Melatonin can actually cause irritation in young kids and it increases insomnia.

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I’ve had insomnia since I was a little girl & most of my siblings did too.
If I fall asleep around 7 even now my body would automatically do the same exact thing.
I have to wait until at least 9 to fall asleep and I can not take naps and if I do they can only be an hour max (anything longer is an actual sleep and not a nap) and never after noon.
And physical activity and long days don’t help me sleep any better. No matter how tired I am when I hit the bed I cannot fall asleep.

It really is all about getting on a schedule but that is so hard to do.

Melatonin might be making her legs achy!! It happens to me when I take it! So I personally end up awake after a few hours super tired but can’t sleep!

Keep. Her up. During. The. Day. And dont. Let. Her. Sleep


Brandy Allison sounds just like aubree. Read some comments.

Melatonin and other sleep aids make me restless and make my insomnia worse.

Maybe melatonin like I do and a later bath like 8 and bed at 9 that’s what had to do with my 9 yr old from young age she was up 24/7 I didn’t sleep till she started preschool and got wore down or keeps busy till worn down.

Is she getting enough excersice?

More exercise and sunshine during the day

Sounds like the sleep she has until 11, makes up for the amount of sleep a 5 year old needs… is she going to school ? I would be waking her no later then 7:30 at the most an putting her bed by 8. Or getting her into that routine.

My 5 year old daughter goes to bed by 8 an watches a movie to calm down An falls asleep by 8:30/8:45… then awake by 7 - 7:30 (sometimes she hears us awake but I wake her at 7:30) took her about a week to get her into the routine but u gotta stock to it… She may occasionally have a nap for a bout an hour after school if she is knackered by no longer then that (but only on school days or if she gets really grumpy I tell her to have a small nap … she may sometime wake at 4 in the morning thinking it’s morning already but I tell her to go back to bed (she tried asking for a movie on but that would keep her awake) so it’s back to bed with just her salt lamp on.

Before she started school it never bothered me as much of her going to bed later with me (we lived with family due to needing to move out of our house an had to share a room for a bit) so she would watch tv with me until she fell asleep then she slept in a bit an I got to do things around the house before she got up.

I use to have to wake kids up earlier and make them stay up later

I would start with some calcium and magnesium after dinner and an 8 AM appointment every morning for a week…the park, walk outside, tossing a ball with the dog, helping do dishes, baking cookies, calling grandma ect.

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Keep her up later. Put her to bed around 10 or 11 instead of 7-9. Mine slept 10-10 from 2 weeks old until around 5 years old. Then he started going to bed later and can easily stay up until 2am but will do it in bed watching tv quietly. He was never a morning person and still isn’t at 9 years old, but he is a night person like me.

Don’t let her go to bed at 7 anymore. Try 10-11, No naps during the day. Make sure she is full from dinner, no electronics after 9pm, maybe use that time for reading or other quiet activities. Make sure her room is a good temperature to sleep in (I personally can’t sleep if it’s not cold, I will lay there all night).

Put her to bed at 8pm wake her up 8am.
No naps. Consistency.
You will break the routine and create your own eventually!! I hope you get this sorted soon!

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Try adding a late afternoon nap and keep her up till 9 or 10

My son is the exact same way and we’re finally getting a schedule going, really it’s about the wind down time for my son in particular anyway, he needs to have his cuddles and movie with mom and dad and we have dinner later to make sure he’s content and full when we put on a movie for him with the volume on like 5 because it’s just more of a nightlight. But remember every little one is different just try different things like a lavender bath or something before bed every night, get a routine even if it’s just 2 or 3 things you do as a family before bed it’s still a routine and eventually they’ll catch on and realize “Oh they’re getting me ready to go to sleep.” It helps my son if I let him know he’s not missing out on anything and we can play when he gets up in the morning

You have to wear the kid out. Lots of outside time. Exposure to sunlight helps the brain & hormones sync so circadian rhythm can get back to a better pattern.

It will be tough at first. Just try to keep it fun. The weather is perfect for lots of outside stuff.


It sounds like melatonin isn’t working for her. It did not work for my oldest son and eventually gave him nightmares (I assume it was the melatonin). I have found with all three of my kids that making them play outside tires them out. If it’s hot, find some shade. I’d do a minimum of 2 hours, break it up into 30 minute increments during the day.

My daughter woke up like that for a while with bad dreams around one or two a.m. Wound up being her body telling her to use the toilet at night! Once we got her used to that, we set a routine that included a rule of NOT waking anyone else if it was still dark out…that was the toughest but if you have some books, soft toys, etc for her to use at those times, even if SHE wakes early you will still get your sleep…eventually :grin::vulcan_salute:

Watch how much melotonin. You give her. Even though its all natural it can be deadly. It naturally slows The body down including respiratory system. When she gets up at 4 keep her up until nap time. Then no nap past 2 pm. A week of two of this her body shld be regulated


Giving melatonin to a child that young on regular occasions is actually very counterproductive. Their body will stop producing melatonin naturally and it is much harder for them to get sleepy on their own and stay asleep.


My son stopped napping about that age. He was a flurry of energy. I just made sure he was awake all day and he slept through the night. He’s an adult now and has gone back to napping when he can. Lol.


I had the same issue not quit to your extreme. I saged her room and asked all energy to leave her alone at night good or bad angelic or evil. Keep in mind we did sleep clinics and all we could medically first.


She needs to be completely exhausted keep her up as long as possible with no naps if possible shes gonna get cranky but if you see her dozing have her get up and play a game or run around for a few mins. I had to do this with my son hes almost 4 now and goes to sleep around 10 to 11 sometimes 9 and wakes up around 9 to 12 the next day. Its gonna be hard for a few days but you gotta stay on it. Also stay away from red dye in food and drinks after 3 or 4 pm. Ummm if you have any questions or want more advice or if I was not clear as my brain is all over the place lol feel free to message me

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Don’t let her fall asleep between 7-9 been in this situation before. It will be hard and there will be lots of crying and screaming but It can be changed then u make bed time between 830 and 9 she should sleep threw the night she will be up early but have a good nights rest (example when u see her falling asleep take a walk with her, play outside, do anything to prevent her from falling asleep .


Have you been giving her the melatonin for awhile? I heard sometimes after prolonged use, it can cause problems with sleeping rather than help. I agree with the comments above though. Don’t let her go back to sleep. The first few days will be hard, maybe go outside and wear her out. But after a few weeks she should be back on track.


Stick to a set wake time and bedtime! I have a 5 month old and a 2 1/2 year old on the same schedule since the baby was about 2 months. Even if it kills me, I make sure they are awake by 8 latest! Now they both wake by 8 on their own. Both in bed by 8:30p, the little one by 8 is knocked out and the older one in bed by 8 knocked out by 8:30. My older daughter recently did the waking in the middle of the night with me and I forced her up at her usual time and that readjusted her messed up day/nights.

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My 6 year old still gets up at least 2 times at night. Her bedtime is 7:30 and she gets up on s hool days at 5:45am. However, due to the covid virus and no school, she goes to bed at 9 pm but still gets up twice during tbe night. Its usually bad dreams or tbe toilet… After her dad or I prays with her she goes straight to bed and gets up between 9:30 & 10 am. She’s quite active during the day. Each child’s sleeping pattern is different. She will settle eventually.

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My daughter was this almost to the letter. We did EVERYTHING. People can say “wear them out” “no naps” “a warm bath before bed” so matter of factly but unfortunately some kids do not sleep. My daughter was one of them. She (we) would get 4 of sleep a night and if I was lucky another couple hours around 7 in the morning. Didn’t matter what we did that day, nap no nap, essential oils, bath, lotions ect. NOTHING WORKED and her doctor was baffled. Some kids just don’t sleep. She FINALLY started sleeping better around 3 1/2 and we got her a twin mattress not a toddler bed and she started sleeping majority of the night.
I wish there was an exact science to it like most people think but I’ve lived through this extreme insomnia and it’s rough mama.


Routine is the key. Had you changed anything. Bath time or anything else. . i changed my daughters it affected her.

I can completely empathise as my daughter sleeps from 10pm to 2AM and thats it (ASD, GB, chromosomal disorder) limit screen time, take her to the park and let her go feral I mean literally tell her that if she does three laps of the field she will get a toy from a charity shop. Mines struggles with walking but atleast it’s a little bit of peace

I. FEEL. YOUR. PAIN!!! :pensive:

My son’s internal clock is all over the place. He is turning 4. Its been this way on and off for years now. But lately he’s doing what your daughter is doing. Its exhausting. :frowning:

There are some nights that he will sleep through the night and I think, ok tomorrow we will do the same, but it doesn’t happen.

When he sleeps through, he plays all day, runs inside the apartment, doesn’t nap in the day time, we go out for a walk at night and when we get back home its bath time. That bath makes him sleepy. I then use baby lotion with lavender, I spray the bed with lavender spray and off to bed we go. I always turn on the fan so that it drowns out any noise. He knocks out.

I’m not sure if the running around, missed nap, bath or lavender helps though. I sometimes give him melatonin, but maybe like once a month. I’m afraid of him becoming dependent on the gummy.

No call melatonin or chemicals just keep her up all day and then at bedtime letter finally go to sleep and she’ll sleep all night 2 days of making your life miserable but then her sleeping habits will be better


My grandson uses a sound machine and he plays cricket all night that’s what keeps him I’m sleeping melatonin makes him tired and you go to bed at a regular time but if you turn the sound machine off instantly awake

What’s her daily activity look like? My kids are bears who won’t sleep if they’ve been stuck inside all day. A day out in the pool and they both nap and pass out at bedtime. They’re also happier nicer kids.

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Sounds like my sleep patterns…but I am 74 years older than your daughter! LMAO!

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Try foods in her diet that include melatonin naturally like banana grapes cherries turkey etc

Try cherry juice too, my son is autistic and also has melatonin you may need slow release rather than fast release depending what you use.

It’s not a case of trying to wear them out as sometimes that can have the opppsite affect that they are over stimulated.

New routine the same. Bath bed etc use lavender in bath or try a magnesium lotion to massage x


I will not do routines when I don’t have them myself, but I will tire my boy out because he will be outside, not on tablets etc.

Spray lavendar on her pillow and keep her up as late as possible.

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Could she be waking up hungry? Maybe a snack right after bed

I would stop the melatonin because it can cause daytime sleepiness and can also cause insomnia when waking at night. She could also be overtired. Try setting a schedule and make such you’re consistent. Wake her around the same time every morning and enforce a quiet time or nap time mid afternoon for about an hour. Also make sure she gets plenty of physical activity either outside or inside. Limit screen time at night. The blue light in our phones and TVs can trick the mind into thinking it’s day time. Do a nice warm bath and read a book or cuddles before bed.


Get her and u on a reg schedule during the day. No naps. Get up at 7am and keep her up. Be active …meals and activities at reg times-NO NAPPING. Nice full tummy at dinner and bath and bed at 8 pm latest. NIce hot milk and banana at bed time.


I’d get up at 4 and not let her sleep anymore. Only sleep at night

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Make an appointment with her pediatrician. They will advise you on what to do. In the meantime if she wakes up, tell her to stay in her room and give her some books to read or look at. It worked for my son.

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Don’t put her to bed until 10-11. That’s what I had to do with both of my kids. They don’t need to sleep for 13 hours.

If there is any lights in her room it will make the melatonins in her brain not shut off. Making it harder to stay a sleep

When my daughter was very young about 2 years old I would walk her to tire her out & yes she would sleep all nite.

my son does the same thing he is 6 and he is on sleeping meds from the dr. is your daughter hyperactive all day my son is

Keep her up during the day for a few days. Rest the clock. It will be hell for a few days but this usally does it.

I have my little girl take a bath around 8 with lavender bubble bath. Then let her lay down by 8:30 or 9. Give her a healthy little snack in between bath and bedtime. Hopefully that can help get a routine started. Oh and I sleep with a box fan to drown out the noise so if she is a light sleeper this will help her relax

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Set a schedule that works for you and stick with it

ok so early on in womb my daughter was more active at night and it continued. I think around 8 years old I kinda finally found something that worked so atleast it didn’t affect school work her issues actually co existed with her dyslexia… and it didn’t always work… you have to be consistent with bed time wake up times and even nap times everyday all the time… if she struggle with sleep the night before she got a nap soon as she got home from school for no longer than an hour. screen time including watching TV was taken away hour before bed half the lights in the house where turned off after dinner kinda think of it as slowly lowering light levels like a sunset. Find things that calm her at 18 my kid still struggles sometimes but she has an idea when it will happen and makes herself warm tea and will take melatonin if she thinks it will be a bad night

My grandson is the same. He will be up 10 hrs. sleep for 2 then up for another 4 or 5. He is 21 mo. old.

I’d wake her up at 8 a.m., no naps, not sleep until 8 p.m.

Did you use the cry it out method when she was little? Like leaving her scream until she fell asleep?

If you get a good answer please pass on your wisdom. My 4 year old has done that exact same thing since she was born. I have never had a full nights uninterrupted sleep. Pediatrician has prescribed melatonin (no change), switched her allergy medicine to bedtime (still no change), have kept her busy and on the go from the moment she opens her eyes until bed time to no avail. This is something noone warns you about when you are expecting. Theres no easy solution or even a hard one at this point that ive been able to make work. Parenting is hard. So i have just adapted how i sleep instead. I take a nap in the evening when dad gets home from work to prepare myself for the butt crack of dawn wake up. So i manage to get enough sleep between the nap and the sleep i get after she goes back to sleep at 3,4, 5am. Sometimes instead of changing the child you have to adapt to their reality. It doesnt work for everyone or every situation but its the best advice i have. So good luck and just be the beat mommy you can be for your little one

Maybe a sleep sound machine would help. There is sound apps you can download in play store

My LO is the same way! I could have written this myself

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Talk to the pediatrician & get a sleep study

Classical music at night

be sure she hasa regular nap then keep her so busy from 7 to 8 she can not go to sleep bed by 8;30

Cinnamon cookies and warm milk

You should give her powerful narcotics. At that age, just about anything strong enough is going to knock her right out, so you don’t really even need to worry about things like brand-name recommendations or dosage.

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Be careful using melatonin unless the doctor says she has a deficiency. Your brain naturally produces it and when u start taking it your brain stops producing it, then you’ll always have to take melatonin to fall asleep. It scares me so many people use it in their kids and babies without knowing how scary it is

You might not be able to. It’s not good but I’ve had this problem all my life (68 now). When I was a kid and as an adult working it was really difficult, used to be so tired, especially in the morning. My parents used to get angry with me, so did my ex but I genuinely could not go back to sleep when I woke anytime between 2.15 am and 3. I didn’t go to sleep (and still don’t) until about 12 or 1. However, those few hours sleep keep me awake until at least 6 to 7 am, sometimes as late until 10 or 11 am. That’s OK now I’m retired but it does cause problems in normal life. I have been to numerous doctors and sleep experts during the course of my life, to no avail. You’ll be getting advice like have a bath in the morning/just before bed, try a drink of warm/cold milk, try herbal teas and other herbal remedies, try different mattresses, coverings. I myself have given up and just live with it, just don’t get her into sleeping pills. I found a little help in sleeping on a fairly hard mattress, 70 degrees C max in bedroom, light but warm covers, dark room (a 5 yr old might not like the dark though) and reading as boring a book as I can find without wanting to throw it out in the trash! Of course a 5 yr old will still need to get up in the morning and school might help provide some framework. However, I found during my working life that my blood pressure shot up if I didn’t get enough sleep. So watch out for that in a few years. So sorry I cannot be more positive but we are all built differently and I would hate you to do what my parents di. Force me to go to bed, no book, driven almost mad with boredom. Good luck to you and your little one.

Melatonin is an all natural sleep aid. Get your facts straight before you try and bash someone you idiot. And I’m sure she isnt doing it for her convenience either. More like for her daughters health. Jesus

Katie Hartmann, there is some interesting information in here . Read all of the comments, i am sure u can relate

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Don’t let her takes naps

Please check with your pediatrician. I’m sure they can help

She is too old to have her days and nights mixed up, cut out the melatonin esp during the day, its not made to be taken during the day…talk to her Dr for any underlying problems…good luck

Melatonin can give you vivid nightmares. I have mom friends who have said there kids go to sleep better with melatonin but dont stay asleep because their dreams wake them up.

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Best thing I’ve found Is to wear their little butts out before bed with lots of activity and a bath . Make sure her tummy is full and be consistent. Keep putting her back to bed when she gets up in the middle of the night. Will take awhile to break the cycle


My 5 year old goes to bed at 7:30pm-8:30pm and wakes up at 7am. No naps. Stick to a wake up and bed time and don’t let them sleep during the day. They need 10-12 hours at 5 years old.

At that age my kids went to bed 7:30pm no naps. Melatonin may be giving her that “hung over” feeling. Maybe try some lavender or sleepy time tea.

Don’t let her sleep that late 8am or 9am the latest wake her up take her a bath and then start your routine. Let her take a nap about noonish for only an hour to two then wake her up play games to wake her up and keep her awake til 9pm do the next routine before she falls asleep brush teeth hair nightgown. The 1st week she will be cranky and fight you every step but once her body and mind fall out of the old routine she will get used to the new plan.

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Keep her up during the day with a healthy diet and lots of activity. No sugar or caffiene after 6pm.

When she falls asleep early, wake her up. Give her a bath. Keep her active until you are ready to send her to bed. It may take a few nights to get her in a better schedule

Melatonin causes nightmares

How long have you been using the melatonin? No judgment at all.
It may be stopping her from making her own natural melatonin and when it wears off she’s waking up. This is why they say to avoid using it on a regular basis. It can also cause insomnia.
Could be having leg pain or even night terrors. All that can be side effects of melatonin.
Maybe a high energy activity daily and look up foods that promote sleep.
Camomile tea, sleepy time tea, and lavender essential oils also help calming and sleep.

Try a kids gravel don’t become reliant on it, but sometimes can work. Then talk to a professional who may be able to assist.

You’re not supposed to give your child melatonin every night. It’s habit forming and messes up their natural melatonin production. Your poor child is going to have a difficult time of you continue giving her melatonin. Her sleep schedule won’t get any better. You’re supposed to do one week on one week off, but I never gave it to my daughter more than 3 nights in a row. I stopped giving it to get altogether when she was around 3 just because you’re child doesn’t need it. You do, to make bedtime easier for you. Stop using it and teach your baby how to sleep normally. It’ll be Hell at first because she won’t produce the melatonin normally for a while and most parents these days don’t have the patience to go through that with their child. I hope you do.