How can I get my MIL to understand that she cannot just come barging in my house anytime of day to see our child? She doesnt listen to me and my husband doesnt want to hurt her feelings…she just does not care if we have plans or if we dont want visitors…she wants to see “HER BABY” on HER time and I am over it
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Maybe u should be grateful she wants a close enough relationship with ur child to “bother” u, if she didn’t see ur child enough for u that would probably be an issue too!
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Tomorrow isn’t promised. Let her have a relationship with the child. It may be annoying at times…Start locking the door, which idk, you should do anyways 
if or when she asks why, tell her it makes you uncomfortable people just willy nilly walking in. Tell a little lie and say you watched a show and now your creeped out or best of all, tell her the truth. She makes you uncomfortable just walking in…
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Your husband is afraid of hurting his mother’s feelings but not yours?? That’s the problem.
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Keep your door locked. It’s an easy fix.
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I’m a direct person. I would just straight up say we have loved and we love that you are a part of our life but we have other responsibilities and you have to call before you can just come over to see our child. Then I would keep my door locked and if she came over without calling I wouldn’t open it. People need their own space. I get that she’s trying to be a loving grandmother, but too much is too much.
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Well needs to come from him, he needs to quit avoiding the problem… he needs to tell her to either do a set time each week and make sure he is there to so u don’t feel uncomfortable…
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You can be indirect or direct about it, but hurting feelings directly might be the only way to get your point across if she won’t listen to what you’ve already said. That’s what sucks about in laws, I can tell my family “Don’t come to my house everyday or call first and if I don’t answer, I don’t want to talk or company” Lol. But with in laws I expect him to take care of it , If they don’t listen to me. But since yours won’t, definitely get gritty about it.
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Lock the door and ignore her 
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You don’t have a mother in law problem. You have a husband problem. HE needs to set boundaries with his mother.
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Lock the doors and put a sign on the door.
Have a quiet talk with her go for coffee explain to her you need respect as axwomzn also
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lock the door if you have to change the locks the point should be made with that
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Keep the door locked. 
If she calls saying she’s outside just say “I know, but you didn’t make plans in advance and we are busy. We can make plans for another time, if you would like.” If you’ve already tried talking to her about it, you’re going to have to put your foot down and do what you have to. I understand not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, but you have to have boundaries that protect your own needs as well.
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That’s my favorite thing about my dad. He stops by all most daily and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Be grateful.
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Best way I know is to just start doing it to her. I’m so serious. When she gets frustrated and says something about it just straight tell her “well you do it to us all the time”
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I love when my mother in law comes over… However she knocks and if we don’t hear she comes in and says helllooooo very nicely. I dont know what I would do in this situation maybe a conversation.
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I can understand not being up to company all the time. I can also understand being hurt that a grandparent doesn’t spend time. I also understand when a grandparent tries to override a parents rules. Just like parenting , there is no manual for grandparenting. I however notice that way more parents complain about the way grandparents treat their grandchild. It occurs to me grandparents can only do their best because there is no manual that comes comes with your child for parents. Some worry am I seeing the child enough? Go easier on Gram and Gramps we love those grand kids even though we make mistakes. Maybe their children’s grandparents popped in all the time and they didn’t mind so they feel ok with it. I am not saying let a grandparent do as they please but understand as you are learning to be parents maybe they are learning to be grandparents.
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Unfortunately you are going to hurt her feelings by saying how you feel anyway but it’s not your fault she doesn’t have common courtesy to think of what you may have going on and politely asking when she can come hang out with “our” baby. Boundaries have to be set now or you will eventually blow up on her over the minute stuff bc you wanted to save her feelings over how you feel so do it soon so you can talk it out in a loving way and not resentful. Best of luck!
If you haven’t talked to her already then tell her the doors will be locked from now on & you guys can schedule grandma time. If she says no to this & keeps up with her behavior then lock the doors & when she shows up next time I’d tell her she’s not welcome. If your husband can’t grow a pair & tell his mother to step off then let him know he can go back to living with his mom since he’s more worried about her then his family.
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Tbh I have a mother in law that my three children don’t even really know! She has only ever come around for birthday party’s and Christmas and that’s it. My oldest daughter is 7 she came around so little she didn’t even pick up on who she was til she was 4 years old. She’s never once even tried to see her grandchildren just to come over and hang out. I moved out of state for a year she didn’t see us that whole time I’ve been back here for a year and she has only seen my children ONE time for a birthday party in that one year. I’d be blessed to have a MIL that gave a shit. Mine don’t care at all to see her grand babies and it hurts me. They got my parents who take them all the time who call me and tell me they miss them when they’re away for 3 days and it’s a blessing. I love that they care. Bc my MIL lack of care hurts my heart. My youngest is 3 and has no idea who she even is.
Lock your doors at all times, if she calls tell her you are not up for visitors… also tell your husband grow a pair!
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I can’t tell you what it would mean to me to have anyone care that much to just drop by to love on my kids. If it’s interfering with plans you made, just continue with your plans. Going out to dinner as a family? Invite her. Heading to a birthday party? Bring her with. Don’t change your plans, just include her if she wants to go. One day, you will miss her. Boundaries are ok, just make sure you’re not missing out on the blessing of having her even care just to control the situation. And lock your door lol. Nobody can just barge in if the door is locked and they don’t have a key.
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Yall are missing the point…making memories with her grandchild is definitely ok. What’s not ok is letting herself in whenever SHE deems fit and not what works best for their family! Is it really too much to ask for her to call before she just comes by? This momma is supposed to be inconvenienced bc grandma doesn’t understand boundaries? Nah!
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One day she won’t be able to see her BABY anymore… She will be gone and your baby will not be a baby. Time Flies by so fast let that woman make memories.
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Does your door not have a lock?
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Put saran rap Infront of the door and when she walks in she’ll run into it and get mad then hopefully leave 
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First and foremost, you need to have a very blunt conversation with your spouse and tell him that he must be on your side. He may be her son but he is YOUR spouse. YOU come before his mother’s feelings. Tell him that you require his backup here.
Once that is done, you BOTH need to sit MIL down and explain to her that while you’re grateful that she wants to have a good relationship with her grandchildren, she needs to have PERMISSION to come over. No more unannounced visits and she MUST knock, always.
Set this boundary. You do not need to tell her why. You do not need to give reasons or excuses. It is YOUR home and YOUR family and these requirements are non negotiable.
I would conclude with “if you cannot call ahead, get permission, and knock, we will be locking the door and refusing to answer”… then follow through.
I couldn’t imagine someone barging into my house constantly. Like could not handle it. At all
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Y’all are Wilding in these comments. People are allowed to want and have boundaries and privacy in their own home. It’s healthy. If you allow people to just barge in and have no issue with it, good for you.
Telling someone they should just be grateful doesn’t take away the lack of respect they feel. Smh.
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Change the locks if she has keys to your room. And once you change the locks get a video doorbell and she’ll have to ring the doorbell or knock to get inside if door is locked and if you see that it’s her you can ignore it or tell her to please leave. Your husband needs to grow a pair n tell his mother to stop barging into the home.
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Keep your door locked and ignore her that’s what I do lol
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You can bet your husband was raised with violation of boundry being the norm, so do you want your child raised under that dynamic? get her a puppy and fortify your borders
Lock your doors. Also if she has a spare key you can change locks and tell her she can get the new spare key when she learns basic manners and knocks.
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Keep your door locked. If she comes without calling first, don’t answer. But first, let her know that you really need a heads up before she wants to come over. I don’t know many people that like unannounced visitors.
If she shows up while you have plans etc plainly tell her NICELY the 1st time. Sorry, you should have called we have plans. Then tell her you can visit tomorrow or whatever day. We will be free then.
Come straight out and tell her. Or when she is there go run errands, have me time, ask her to come in the evening so you can have a date night. Many ways this can be advantage.
My parent did a couple days a week. I would go to work and about my business and they would either stay the house or leave. The both are gone now. And i miss it. I have no one like that
Nope. Lock your doors and make sure she don’t have a key. Talk to her and let her know that she had HER baby, he’s now grown up and has HIS baby. That you don’t mind her coming by to see her GRANDBABY, but she needs to call and see if you have plans or even want visits before. That if she just shows up, you won’t he answering the door.
Dress in lingerie and say baby was sleeping and you were busybwith her son. She might want to call next time
Come up with a set time n day she can visit once or twice in a week. Please dont hurt her feelings. She is elder to u and one day u r going to b that side too 
Lock your doors & don’t answer them! If she has keys, change your locks!!
Lock the door and if she has a key change the locks.
Yall need to have a sit down and talk and if she gets mad do not back down! And explain she raised her child and now its time you all raise yours and if she wants to see baby she needs to ask first.
Lock the doors. Make sure she does not have a key
Keep your door locked and don’t answer it
Keep the door locked. Lol
Lock your frickin door!
Change your Locks.
Go out at times you suspect she will pop by
How is she barging in? Did you give her a key? Change your locks is the most obvious answer to me.
I had this problem with my kids grandfather. He couldn’t come in. He’d sit outside, sometimes for hours. Then I’d hear how rude I was for either being home or not answering the door. In my case it was my kids father having him check on us. If your husband isn’t putting a stop to this he’s most likely part of it.
Don’t open the door? 
Your children , have two sets of grand parents , if your lucky, they love your kids as much as you do , if not more, we as grandparent , want to be with them , as much as possible ,because we realize just how fast they grow up. With them we notice every little thing they do. Every new development , as parents we didn’t always take the time . To notice or appreciate, busy like busy parents today, we assumed they would be little for a long time. But truth is they are grown in a blink of an eye. And don’t want to spend the with adults anymore. . that why grand parents can be intrusive at times. But also you never know how long they will have grand parents, let them have relationships, if it’s to inconvenient, for them to come to your house, drop them off to grandma, every now and then .
Ugh that’s a tough one prob wouldn’t bother me but I don’t know your situation everyone’s different
You ain’t got no locks, Sis?
Stay naked, always.
OR
Ask your husband what he thinks would be best, him letting her down easy or flipping your shit on her? It’s bound to happen if she refuses to respect boundaries.
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Cops 
, she entered you home without permission.
Straight out tell her no or your calling the cops
Lock the door. Change the locks if she has a key. Tell her you’ve got plans. And work on your spineless partner.
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