How can I explain to my son he didn't make the team?

Moms I desperately need your help! I just learned my son didn’t make the 8th grade baseball team. I haven’t told him yet. I don’t even know how to. He’s going to be devastated and I’m completely heartbroken for him. What should say? How have handled this?


It’s best to always be 100% honest with him. I believe he will respect you more if your honest


You be honest and tell him the truth. There’s no easy way and he’ll feel how he feels regardless. Sometimes in life we don’t always get the things we want on the first try! You could maybe offer to practice with him/find someone to practice with him so he can try out next time the opportunity presents itself - he can only get better! Or you can see if there’s a different team/club he’s interested in and encourage that as an alternative. Just be supportive, let him feel and express his feelings in a safe space, validate him and when he’s ready, you can work on the steps going forward and what you’re going to do about it.


Be honest but more than that be SUPPORTIVE! Find a clinic he can join to get basic knowledge and skills, keep sending him to clinics, watch videos, practice with him at home on dribbling and things you don’t need to be at a court for and HELP him achieve it next year! Help him realize the dedication it takes and the hard work involved!!
Good luck!

Be honest,try not to let those feelings get in the way of letting him know​:face_holding_back_tears::sob::sob:

We are the example of them navigating these situations.

Be honest. It’s a part of life. Maybe some private lessons until next years tryouts, a travel league. If he wants it next year, encourage him to work for it.

My mama heart would be broke too.

Practice and try again next year

Just be honest , and encourage him to keep trying and practicing so he can make the team the next time

I’m sure he knows by his friends telling him they made it

As a parent I would just tell him that unfortunately he did not make the team. But not everyone makes the team. As a coach I try to tell players that didn’t make the team what they can do to improve. There is always next year. Practicing is a huge thing. Try to get onto another team to help improve his skills. It is hard.

100% be honest and understanding. Tell him you know it’s important to him, and unfortunately he didn’t make the cut. Usenit as a tool to work in his skills, and perhaps join another league to do so.

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Just do it. It’s going to hurt no matter how it’s done. Just be :100: honest with him.

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Let him find out from the coach and then buy him ice cream

I am thinking everyone else knows that they made the team by now. He has to know

As a mother losses come. It’s a way of life. My daughter didn’t make her first cheerleading team. Broke her heart and mine. But she took that to work harder to try out the next year. And she did and made it. We must teach our children to keep going through adversity, losses. Teaches them strength they otherwise didn’t know they had. And support them. They know we do but don’t let them get them down! Look up words from Rocky! Very inspiring and he’s young and he can get through this and one day will make a difference.

His coach should’ve told them.

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I’ve been through this many times I always tell my children you did the best you tried the hardest there’s always next year


Obviously you have to.let him know but also look into different recreation baseball teams he can join.

Tell him straight up. Practice harder try again next year


Not everyone can make the team and it’s a part of growing up. I know it sucks and we all want the best for our kids, but they also need to grow. Their not going to get everything they want in life. I’ve seen adults that were taken care of as children and God bless their future spouse!

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Uh, tell him he didn’t make the team. Tell him to reach out to the coach so he can figure out what he needs to work on for next time.


I had my child go and talk to the coach.
I told him that in order to get better, he needed to know what his strengths and weaknesses are.
It does a couple of things.
It pushes your child to communicate with the source. A skill that is necessary in life.
He then will hear what he needs to work on and where he needs to improve in order to make next years team.
It makes him be responsible for his future spot on the team.
When we, as parents, get overly involved, we (myself included) don’t like to see our child hurt and we tend to try to lessen the blow.
Disappointments are part of life.
Use this as a teachable moment and help him navigate how to better himself.


Be honest with him. And let him be upset for a little while. My son didn’t make the competitive hockey team last year, and I told him it’s ok to be disappointed. But as long as he did the best he could, then he just needs to keep working hard and try again next year. He did just that, and made that same team this year!
It sucks to see them so heartbroken, but it’s a great life lesson too!


So sad he can go to play in city team?

Is there a community baseball team that he could play on? Or Ask the coach if there is a way he could help out the team. Team manager? Have him keep practicing. Maybe the coach can tell you what he needs to work on. Good luck.

The same thing happened to mine their 8th grade year. I reminded them that almost high school level is very different and hard to get on. They worked thr whole summer their 8th grade into 9th grade year and at 9th grade tryouts made varsity. Sometimes not making the team is the nudge they need to work harder.


Disappointments are part of life .Tell him the Truth and Encourage him to Try Again.


Put him on a diff team …
Recreational team or travel team

Just tell him. But also tell him he did his best maybe next year


Honestly let the coach tell him ! As I played volleyball hockey badminton…one year I didn’t make the hockey Team but did as a spare and I was hurt but coach told me what to work on and I did…made it the next yr

Hit him square between the eyes with the news. At his age its beyond time for him to know how to handle the truth. Question is can you? If you can’t, let the coach tell him and why, that way he’ll know what to work on. If he really wants to play maybe he can be a part of the team in some other capacity, like batboy, equipment manager, most anything to be able to go to practice and develop his skills. Some kids won’t be able to stay committed, if he is he may be able to fill the void (but he has to be there).

Be honest. And then help him get ready for next season.

Be honest and tell him.
You don’t always get what you want. He’s going to be sad amd his feelings are valid, but he deserves the truth


Tell him straight out and explain that he needs to practice between now and the next time there’s tryouts so he can make the team in the future 


I’m not understanding why coaches need to tell the kid, parents need to parent! It’s a part of life, sorry you didn’t make it this year, work on those skills and hopefully you’ll be better next year. Stop coddling over this stuff, this is easy life stuff, if you make this hard wait till the real hard stuff hits!


Does he play for any other teams? (Rec, travel, etc?)

If he does, remind him that he has a lot of room to grow and to keep working hard. Middle and high school teams can be competitive to get on.

If he isn’t in rec or travel, I’d consider having him join one for the spring.


Isn’t it the coaches job to tell him he didn’t make it and give him some pointers. At least that how it went when I was in high school. As far as what to tell him you tell him not to give up, work hard and practice and try out again next year. Gave you hire a personal coach like a former all star player. I know several in my area that give private lessons.

Tell him the truth. It’s part of life

You be honest but kind about it. Explain how life is full of disappointment and it can be expected sometimes, then you can give him a lesson in never giving up and search for a local community ball team he might be able to join. Check with your community center, or if you have The Y where you live- that’s a good place to start looking for an alternative place for him to play. You also spend time in the backyard with him, practicing. Get him amped up to try again next year and build good memories during that practice time along the way. I don’t mean watch him or record him either; I mean throw him the ball, offer to bat or catch when he wants to practice pitching. Play with him. It will make you both feel good, I promise. Good luck :four_leaf_clover:


When my daughter didn’t make the volleyball team at school we just sat down and talked about it. I explained some kids have had alot more experience in playing and to take what she learned at tryouts and practice it for next year. Even not making the team gives them the experience of trying out and learning what the teams are looking for. It doesn’t mean they aren’t good players but unfortunately no matter what it is there will always be someone who may be better or have more experience.


Coach should tell him IMHO. If the coach told you, then you could have asked what he can improve to make the team next time and if there anything he did well that you can temper the bad news with. I know this hurts you, but he’s going to face disappointment in life. Use this opportunity to teach him how to use this experience to make himself better.


Tell him and make it a life lesson that you fail but learn from it. Have him ask the couch what he needs to work on to get in next year and support him on improving

So this happened to my 11 year old daughter last night at competition cheer, some moved up and she didn’t, there was only so many spots, not everyone can get one, she was beyond mad and wanted to quit the team, didn’t want to cheer this next season but I made her think bout it and she’s not mad anymore and it wasn’t our fault or control, he had to choose the highest scores and unfortunately she’s not ready for division 4!

“Hey bud. You didn’t make the team. It’s okay. You can keep practicing at home and try again next year”

When I was in school they put up a list. If your name was on it, you made it, if not you tried again next year. :person_shrugging:

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Just tell him he didn’t make it. Not everyone makes every team. It sucks but that’s just how it is. Tell him to keep practicing and there’s always next year.


You sit him down and say- sorry son , you did not make the team this time… work harder and Better luck next time!!

Tell him you guys can go and work, possibly get some lessons and then have a goal to make the team next year!!
Michael Jordan didn’t make his HS team either!! Talk about a come back…!


Unless he’s special needs I’d just tell him straight forward he didn’t make it. Teens don’t need this kind of stuff sugar coated. It may be good to look into getting him onto another team somewhere to improve skills, if its something he wants to play in high school. Most kids can’t just jump into a sport in middle school. There’s sometimes years of training before that, and still some don’t make the team.

Don’t sugar coat it … men don’t need anything sugar coated Tell him he didn’t make the team this time so if he wants to make it next time he needs to train harder.

That’s the coaches job to tell him

Let him ask the coach and have the coach tell him. And then tell him to work harder and maybe he will make the team next year.

You just tell him he didn’t make the team, now it’s time to get to work for the next try out.

Id just sit down with him and tell him he didn’t make the cut but he can try again next time


The coach should tell him and give him what to work on to make the team.


You simply tell him. Disappointment is a part of life unfortunately.


Don’t start crying before him, have some prep work ready like telling him check with the coach what he can improve on and tell him the truth. Don’t sugar coat it or put other kids down who made it. Encouragement but not fairy stories. I feel like this is why people get so upset on shows like Xfactor. I blame the parents for telling their kids they sound like Celine Dion but they sound like a cat crying.

NOT everyone makes the team son. That’s realty. It sucks but that’s how we were taught. Practice with him , he will get better and it will be a great bonding experience…Boost his ego by saying I know you can do it ,

Should be the coaches job.


Just tell him. He will be fine

He is in 8th grade man up and tell him that is why kids are so soft nowadays yall baby them

Tell him straight up
He didn’t make the team
Trust me your kid will get over it
And will learn not everyone gets a spot on a team
No matter how good they may be

This is a lesson and to work harder to achieve his goal of getting on the team next year

Tell him Michael Jordan didn’t even make his high school varsity basketball team!!! His mother told him to practice more if he wanted to make the team! Look how that worked out for him😉

Tell him Michael Jordan didn’t get picked to play on his Jr High basketball team and things still worked out great for him.