I have a question to post anonymous, please! I have a 7 yr old with behavioral challenges. ! I have tried grounding, time outs, chores, and talking to her. She lies, has been caught stealing, yells, hits, and just outright ignores me. I am at a loss, ladies, please help me! I’m a single mom(dad sees her most weekends), and I don’t have any idea what to do next! I’ve talked to her dad as well, and we have sat down with her together to try to figure this out to no avail. Mamma needs some help, please!! Also, if you ladies can help me figure out how to keep her on my phone. She has never been aloud my phone, and I’ve hidden it at night put a password on, and she still finds it and figured out the password last night
Put her in time out if she keeps getting out put her right back don’t give in or give up…as for the phone just don’t give it to her if she gets it take it off of her put her back in time out and don’t give in…I have 4 amazing children who behave very well people used to ask me how did you get so lucky I could take my children into a store or restaurant…time out work as long as you stick with it…good luck
There is something underlying going on. I would suggest to start with a therapist, to see why she is acting out. She’s def trying to tell you something. Figure out now before it gets any worse and it can. With a therapist u can do behavior therapy, and figure out where the prob is. Could be oppositional defiance disorder, or something to do with the fact you guys are divorced. She might just be to young to know how to express why she is doing what she’s doing.
I would take her to see a therapist
Could she picking the behavior up from school or a friend she hangs with? I’d also monitor what she’s watching on the phone. Check your history on YouTube and Google.
Consistency is key. If its time-out stick to it and give her no attention for misbehaving(timeout should not be in her bedroom or anywhere she can play or watch TV) if she gets out of timeout 100 times put her back 100 times. If you ground her stick to it and don’t give in and let her off early when she behaves on punishment.
As for your phone does yours have the thumbprint feature or retina scan? If so try those.
Also if she is punished at your house she should also be punished at Dads house too.
For your phone if you can use Touch ID
It’s called an old fashioned butt whipping. It works wonders.
Concur with the therapist suggestion. Hope you get to the bottom of why she is acting out & are able to resolve things relatively easily.
Spank her butt honestly. Just can’t leave a mark longer than 24 hours if nothing is working then use that as a last resort. Get her into therapy also. The phone one is simple and easy to fix simply hide it from her put it under your pillow at nighttime or put in your closet in a shirt or your dresser in a pair of jeans or underwear.
My daughter did the same had to go to therapy she was diagnosed with ADHD AND ODD (oppositional defiance disorder)
There’s obviously a bigger issue causing her to act
How’s a child gonna know “hitting hurts” if they’ve never been hit. Bust that ass. Show her what a spanking feels like. Quit babying these brats.
A 7 year old knows your password or figured it out much less found your phone really. You sleeping that hard. No wonder.
How many kids do you have? Do your kids play any sport like soccor or touch rugby. My sons had to play a team sport in winter and summer. Softball in summer. Badminton my sons use to play some sport. Swimming lessons play cricket join a team. Netball or basketball. Martial arts or a dance group.
She may benefit from counseling . My kids went around that age and through some of the years growing up . It really helped . Being the child of divorce is really hard on these kids . You will also benefit from a good counselor . I know I did ! It’s hard to deal with as a mama and help is available .
Just let your daughter know that she is not the reason why you guys split up. Talk to your ex partner and I hope you have a healthy relationship even after breaking up.
Following for advice aswell
You/she need professional help with this.
As for the phone : put it in your pillowcase while you sleep…
Talk to her doctor. Check out Dr Ross Greene, he’s got some books to help.
Her behavior sounds like an anger problem and not knowing how to handle it.
It happened to my granddaughter after a divorce and until she found an outlet for the anger, she was violent
And full of rage.
No therapist could help her and continued to get worse.
She became involved in a sport which helped her but her life was changed forever.
The phone was also a problem but she was given a phone by her mother which brought out other problems.
Have you consulted with any health professionals? That is the road I’d be taking. Good luck!
There is a reason she is acting out. I would find a counselor
There’s a wonderful book the explosive child and right now the author I can’t remember. But I took a training with him. For a child that has behavioral issues it’s a great book it’s a great book for anyone. My son is very special needs and difficult but I never called him bad he had difficulties. I would highly recommend this book. It will save you a lot of frustration and help your child as well
Take her phone away for start, no technology at all, remove everything from her room but her clothes and bed, and tell her until she starts behaving she won’t have any of her stuff, she will soon learn
Is she upset that you and her dad are not together x
Enforce boundaries and consult a medical professional. This sounds like a bigger issue and not getting help for her would just make her suffer.
My step son is like this and the things thats helped us is setting boundries,rules and stick to the consequences.Dont give in and have her dad do the same things at his house.You both gotta let her know shes loved and your split had nothing to do with her.Take everything away and have her earn it back.Stay calm but firm and dont let anything go handle it right then not later.I would also check into therapy and have her looked at for anger and adhd.My step son has adhd and anger issues his bio mom is part of why hes so angry but as he got older things get worse hes going to be 11 and somethings hes doing better on so it takes alot of patients and love…You got this girl
Therapy, obviously. Punishment won’t heal her.
What ever happened to an ass whoopin???
That sounds like a struggle. My only suggestion is to stay consistent. I grew up watching Supernanny and what I learned from her is that you have to be consistent. When you bring in new rules kids get worse to test the new boundaries. Stick it out and stay consistent and they will adapt to the new rules. Also pick a password she won’t be able to guess, just a random combo and try to use your fingerprint to open the phone as much as possible so she can’t watch you type in a password to learn it that way.
Had the same trouble with my youngest sad to ay she is an adult now and shes only gotten worse we tried counciling rehab nothing has helped now shes facing jail time my onlyhope is jail wil help her
Does she have frequent changes in mood, any aggressive behavior, poor school performance. She may have Oppositional Defiant Disorder and or ADHD. These behaviors are symptoms of these disorders. My advice is to get her evaluated by a clinical psychologist. They can also help you with techniques for managing her behavior.
Does she have actual behavioral disorders diagnosed? If so, Occupational Therapy, counseling, and medication are options. I also I highly recommend the book The Explosive Child. It has a helped a ton with my son who has ADHD and ODD.
If it’s just some challenges with your typical 7 year old, you can always speak to her pediatrician. They may suggest counseling which couldn’t hurt. Or they may have other ideas.
Either way, consistency is the best thing. And it’s important Dad keeps the same rules and consequences at his home too. Which I know isn’t always doable…
She might just be bored and needs to be challenged. Sometimes smart kids act out if they are bored
Just a thought
A good shrink and medical tests for toxins
Check for abuse, sexual abuse too. Depression. All can cause bx changes. Food allergies dye allergies. Don’t assume she is just being bad…
Well I Believe in a stiffer method such as spanking her ass if she can’t listen since she basically ignores everything else & if all else fails. Scared straight or a behavior place with strict discipline should do the trick. For 7 years old , that is extremely out of control. While I’m not trying to be rude, maybe your punishments are far to light & you can’t blame her not being disciplined on being a single mom.
When all of that “positive punishment” fails to help you, do what the good Lord tells us to do! Discipline her with a belt! I am a single mother of a boy and he started that mess around her age. He is 10 now, and he knows mom will get his hind end when he doesn’t act right.
I would honestly try counseling. I have a 6yo that was having some of the same issues, plus others, bc of mine and her dad’s toxic relationship and our inevitable break up. She had been having issues for a while, but we finally got her in to see someone when she was 5 and it’s helped A LOT. They’ve even pulled me in for sessions with her and went over different things to try at home with her. I definitely recommend it.
Get her into therapy. This could be anything from bullies, to anger issues, to neurological problems, to a chemical imbalance. She is asking for help by acting out. Please get her help.
A belt n an ass whipping a few time
Stop punishing her. She sees that as negative behavior towards her & will retailite more. Reward her for good behavior. Too often we skip over the good & focus on the bad. Reverse that. I use play money. Once enough is saved up they can buy things I’ve picked up at thrift stores (that they picked out). Spend time with her. Do a craft, go for a walk & talk, cook a meal together. 1 on 1 counseling as well as counseling with you & dad would be beneficial. Don’t present it as a negative thing. Just say “I know something is bothering you. I love you & want to figure out what it is.” As far as your phone why is she getting in your phone? Is she looking for secrets? Is she jealous? I would let 1 of children use my phone. He deleted everything on it, factory reset it. I was pissed. Years later he said he was jealous of my phone. Maybe you need to put it down more. Also could sound crazy but I’d buy her a phone. She sees everyone with 1. She’s probably very curious. You can check clearance phones. Stores will be getting rid of older models to make room for newer ones soon. Install a parental control, some educational games & text now. Teach her how to make calls. Give her time on her phone when she’s had a good day.
You need to get a handle on this NOW!!!
Speaking from my own experience, I was just ANGRY at the world, not just my mom. My parents divorced at a young age and I played them like a fiddle… Charlie Daniels had NOTHING on me!!!
But there has to be a reason… 7yo aren’t able to use words so they don’t feel like they are being heard… Don’t just settle for the first Dr (shrink as I called them before they were useful)
YOU meet with them… Get someone that specializes in their age…
As for your phone…
Use a password she wouldn’t EVER guess…
I tend to use OLD b-days… Grandparents, Great Grandparents… Or fingerprint passwords work… Locks are the best until you can figure this out
Talk to her doctor. Its likely that she may be having some issue like adhd/add, odd, anxiety, asd ect. Identifying what is going on with her can help tremendously.
I know sometimes that process can be super slow though. In the meantime…
Use a very strict economy rewards system. Make her earn not just rewards but privileges. Essentially set it up so she has to do thing she needs to do before she does things she wants to do.
If she doesn’t earn enough tokens to buy her privileges then she doesn’t get them. Make sure you word things in a positive way. In stead of dont hit try play nicely instead.
Try having structured conversations. What did you do wrong? Why was it wrong? What can you do differently? You will probably feel like a broken record but repetition tends to help.
Try offering appropriate alternatives when possible. “You may not have chips but you may have an apple”
Make sure she hearing you. My kid…I swear if I say it’s too close to dinner for a snack he hears “I’m gonna make you starve” so have her repeat back what you’re saying so you know shes not misinterpreting you.
The reward system is typically consequences in itself I know for some behaviors it’s not enough. Try short term consequences. No more than 24 hours. Again it feels like being a broken record but repetition is usually good for helping kids to remember not to do something long term
A swift kick in the ass once in a while never killed anyone
If these behaviors are new and worsening I would consult a medical professional. Often times when children are being abused they start to show negative behaviors like this for seemingly no reason
Get her evaluated by a mental health prof asap.
There is a while most of psych conditions that emerge at this age.
Use toe for finger print scanner
My sister in law did all these things growing up and everyone use to say she is hopeless she would never change…everyone use to talk with her she was counseled and was the same thing…and then one day…she just changed and she became a beautiful young lady who knows her now will never think she was a naughty kid…so i think patience alot of talking punishment wont help talk with her not down at her she will come around…we mamas have to suck it up and be strong for our kiddos…supermoms
A four year old can hack into your phone?? She needs a gifted and talented school.
My kid used to pull the tantrum shit, and odd, just odd behavior. Turns out she is on the autistic spectrum, high af functioning, she is grand now. Beautiful, intelligent, 8 year old. We have behavioural therapy, still.
Have her evaluated there could be physiological problems
How long have you and dad been separated? You don’t have to actually answer. It’s none of my business. But that could be where it’s all coming from. Maybe she doesn’t like the way things have changed? Talking doesn’t always work. And while I do believe in a good swat on the butt, if it’s her heart that is hurting. Nothing like that will help.
Take everything outta her room but her bed if that dont help take bed make her spend time in thT room thinking about her attitude. Make her earn back her stuff. It works
I see you didn’t say nothing about busting her tail and making her mind, and pray them spirits out of them younguns , if you can’t do it, get someone who can
Porter stark for therapy…they go by income… if u get therapist she doesn’t like…ask for another