My ex-husband and I share custody of our 2-year-old daughter. He has visitation 1 to 2 weeks every month (we alternate time per month). We live 6 hours from each other in different states. My ex-husband pays child support, but in return, I supply diapers, clothes, shoes, and maintain her health insurance. Well, for the past six months, every single time she comes home, she’s sick. It started as a simple cold, then came ear infections, pink eye, croup, etc. Every single time she came home. She’s been in the ER once and urgent care at least four times. We have spent $460 in the past two months because of shes constantly sick. Not to mention that she also gets our ten-month-old daughter sick and has to be seen too. Yesterday, my ex took her to urgent care because she was throwing up and running a fever. She has croup! She comes home in 2 days, and now I have to worry about my youngest catching it. My husband and I are drowning in all these medical bills, and I do use child support to cover some of it, but he still expects me to send diapers, pull ups, and clothes to his house every month. He refuses to take secondary insurance out for her because he doesn’t want to pay for her while she’s there, which I think is right! If she’s constantly getting sick there, then she should have a doctor there to see her. I don’t know why she keeps getting sick. It’s not the weather because our weather is the same. I put her on vitamins, but I don’t know if he gives them to her. I’m just so tired of her being sick. It’s every single month she has something. Now that its flu season, I’m extremely worried. She can’t get the flu shot if she’s sick, and I’m not sending her back without it. What can I do? I’ve really reached my breaking point, and I’m thinking of going back to court. I know kids get sick, but not every single month. Something isn’t right.
Every time my daughter comes home from her dads, she is sick and he won't help with medical bills: Advice?
Take him back to court and ask for a split on medical expenses. That’s absolutely reasonable.
You just have to take it back to court to request a child support increase to help cover them. Just being documentation
Agree with others take him back to court for split costs iff its that much a burden. Depending on what he actually pays for CS. Kids get sick my daughter stayed sick until she turned 9.
Split medical but do away with child support if u have her 1/2 & he has 1/2 why the child support
Agreed take him back to court. Remember to take medical bills with you
Do you guys live in different climates? Also most of the time when we are sick…and the most contagious we don’t show symptoms for at least 3-5 days.
Those are common illnesses. If you’re in disagreement, of costs, the only way you can settle is through court.
New germs. It happens
Some kid’s do get sick ever month. It’s kids. But he should be splitting medical 50/50 no matter who’s she with when sick.
No advice for the $ part of it. But our middle daughter was sixle every month for almost a year with something. We switched doctors and we then got referred to an ENT. They removed her tonsils put tubes in her ears an removed her adenoids. That was 3 years ago and since that time she has not been sick. Maybe talk to her Dr about getting those few things checked.
He should be supplying for his own home. It shouldn’t be up to you to do it all.
Back to court with your evidence
When she is with him he should provide her needs also including medical needs. If he has her for half the time which it looks like then he should provide medical coverage also
Stress can cause children to become ill. Maybe she’s stressed while she’s with her Dad.
Go back to court and ask for medical expenses as well as his reposiblity to supply her with clothes diapers food ect when he has her. Not unreasonable. Also does he have other children there that are school age this could explain the sickness.
it falls on both of you if her immune system is so compromised that every month she’s sick.
Go back to court get things changed medical and pay. Dont send stuff with her its not your responsibility. He needs to thats his daughter.
I wouldn’t keep sending her
I agree. Go back to court, keep a written record of when she is there, how long, sick record of what and when, collect the bills for the records and how much it costs so you can see the pattern of illness and the times you ask him for help. He can explain it to the court. The lawyer will love the record keeping. My husband’s ex let his boy stay for a year and still expected child support for that time. I just handed it over to the lawyer. It was dropped immediately because the records indicated she owed him money. She was supposed to pay some bills when they parted, she didnt,we paid them anyway. Case closed.
I didnt even read the whole thing just so happy that you two are sharing custody of the baby !!! Good for all of you! Good luck !!
He should absolutely help pay for Medical Bill’s. I normally only take my kids in if they’ve been sick more than 5 days or have an extremely high fever. Kids get sick unfortunately. I wouldn’t take her to the ER or Urgent care unless it’s an emergency.
Well, they do actually get sick almost every month sometimes more, especially if at daycare or have an older sibling in school/daycare
There is no legislate reason for him not to pay for her medical as well as supply his own supplies when he has his visitation. Him giving you child support is not contingent on you supplying him with everything he needs for HIS daughter.
I would go to court if I were you, ASAP.
How will that work when she goes to school? You need to figure that out. Also who pays for her health insurance? Why would you secondary health insurance. Why do you send all of the diapers and stuff?￼
He pay child support. You have to supply I am agree with this.
In maryland anything over $200 is an extraordinary expense and the other parent has to pay half
She travels twelve hours a month to different states and any adult would be stressed with that kind of instability and this is a child. Poor baby. It’s not all on him that she’s sick. That’s an awful situation she’s in
Zyrtec helps with croup. My friend’s daughter got it repeatedly last year. The dr told her to use zyrtec and it cleared it up. Hope everything works out and she gets better.
I’m not sure why you are providing him with the supplies of having a child. The judge ordered he pay YOU child support for her which means you needed it. I would no longer support her needs for over there as a father he should be doing more. My husband pays the premium for insurance every other for his child and any other costs added he has to pay half. You should for sure take him back to court and specifically show them all of your said medical bills and how your having to buy everything for her while she’s over there I’m sure even the judge would correct him.
Ok so when she is with him he is supposed to provide her needs clothes diapers all of it. If she’s constantly sick coming back from his house obviously he’s not taking care of her properly. I would go back to court and put he has to pay half of medical bills at least
Kids get sick. Doesn’t mean anyone is at fault. Just stop sending the extras and I’m sure he will have to take care of it. As far as med bills…he should help with those. Otherwise, some kids just get sick more frequently. Doesn’t mean someone is to blame.
Is she being kept in daycare when she’s with him rather than at his personal home?
Usually if you have a hold support order you can ask to have medical bills added on as 50/50 pay
He should be helping with medical bills for her also. Split them in half. And when she goes to his house he should have diapers and stuff she needs there. You shouldn’t have to supply stuff for his house.
Go to court to get medical expenses set up 50/50. Keep the receipts, and if he won’t pay get an attorney. I had to get an attorney to send a letter to my ex to provide family medical history. He was given 30 days to complete and return to attorney or else he would be back in court. He complied.
Back to court definitely! And as for the flu shot did her pediatrician tell you that she can’t get it while sick? Because I’m in nursing school and just 3 weeks ago my instructor said it’s actually a myth that you can’t get a flu shot while sick. My sons pediatrician suggested he go ahead and get the flu shot while we were at the office bc he was already sick and feeling bad. Every Dr is different but I would call the office and ask so she can go ahead and hers before she goes back to her dads
It could be climate change, other than pink eye and she could have gotten that when stopped for gas and restroom break . I used to travel 8 hours and always got sinus which in turn caused cold and bad ear aches.
You will unfortunately have to take him to court.
If your daughter is with her dad for a week or two a month he should be supplying the diapers, wipes etc & he should have clothes there for her
You need to go back to court.
She might have an allergy like something at dad’s house she is allergic too but I’d go back to court xx
Young kids do get sick every month, even a few times a month, while they are building their immune system. When my kiddo started daycare he was sick every week then every other week then every few weeks now once every month or so. That part is normal unfortunately. He really should pay for half of the medical expenses though. All that traveling likely exposes the child to more germs than usual. Hang in there. It will get better as immune system develops.
Y’all are missing the major part in this whole post… the dad lives 6 hours away!! That’s a long ass car drive for a kid… how many towns do you pass? How many cars letting off exhaust? It’s not her being at her dad’s it’s the damn drive!!!
Stress… could be travel, could be leaving mum and could be leaving dad.
Maybe you should have her checked out for a weakened immune system if shes ill that often.
Have him wash the outfit she went to him in and send her home in it.
He should provide clothes/diapers/wipes/toys etc at his house.
Take him back to court!
I thought That’s what child support is for, expenses for the child. If anything I would ask him to have Large bottles of hand soap and sanitizer, plus boxes of tissue. For his home when she’s in his care. Its not fun seeing children constantly sick. And u should only pack what she needs for the traveling back and forth part. He will have no choice but to buy clothes and diapers etc. for her.
Does he smoke?? It could be from that?
He should be paying maintenance and 50/50 towards medical bills, clothes, nappies or pull ups, clothes etc and he should also have spares of each thing at his property. If she keeps getting suck then it’s obviously a big red flag and you should not send her back until you get to the bottom of why she’s always get sick x
Kids get sick, unfortunately it happens a lot. Idk if she is around other people or kids at his place. For the cost of medical bills you will probably have to go back to court so that they can set it that the bills are split or something.
Court gitl court. Get it 50 / 50
Back to court, does dad smoke or anything like that, because that is probably the cause if so. Also, stop sending diapers and everything else to him, especially if he isn’t helping out with medical expenses. There is a reason for her getting sick, that’s really strange.
Some kids do get sick likes this, especially when in daycare, it’s a walking germ factory. I don’t think touching his visitation is fair or needed, but court usually splits out of cost medical expenses 50/50, or can have him get her secondary insurance. Also, he should provide everything the child needs at his house, especially with that much parenting time. It’s an equal split, he needs to have all the same things she has at your house at his expense.
Child support is to cover for when he doesn’t have her, when he does he’s supposed to provide diapers clothes and needs etc. Unless he takes her to the doctor, he won’t be responsible for the bill unfortunately but he doesn’t and shouldn’t get to use your insurance when she’s with him that should be cash pay. You could go back to court and ask for a home evaluation, you don’t get sick from weather you get sick from germs. If she has allergies to something in her environment, it could weaken her immune system. Good luck.
It’s actually very common for that age to be sick a lot. But he should be paying half medical bills.
Take him back to court
My family has been sick every week or other week for 2 plus months. My oldest started school and this all started.
He shouldn’t have to get seperate insurance on her but should be responsible for half of the unpaid expenses. Check your paperwork.
You also don’t have to send pull ups etc. I would send clothes, because as long as he is returning them then there is no reason not to.
Sounds like a terrible arrangement! I would try to modify it.
Is she in daycare or with a babysitter? I mean kids this age pretty much pick up everything. I mean of course he should have clothes and pull ups and stuff at his home for her as well but that’s whatever really. If he pays child suport and it sounds like you guys are splitting time equally, that should cover your expenses if its 50 50. It doesn’t sound like you guys have a legal custody agreement? Because all of this would be spelled out in it. If there’s nothing in writing then it needs to be in writing who’s responsible for what
Just because same weather doesn’t mean anything. He could have the temp in the house say different than you do at your home. I always ended up sick when I was younger and went back and forth from my moms and dads house. They only lived 20 mins away from each other. Mom had gas heat dad had electric heat. To me it was colder at my dads than moms because they used different heating sources.
Just dont send anything. Make ur point. He will end up buying them for his house
if he can help, he should help because that’s his daughter too and medical bills are expensive so it shouldn’t all be on you.
I got confused with your statement" he pays child support, but in return, I have to supply diapers, clothes, wipes etc".
That’s not how it works. He pays cs because he makes more money then you and you have her more then him. That’s why. He should be able to provide diapers and she should have clothes there in her room.
Look over ur CO…medical should be split 50/50. Also…if he has insurance, he should have her on there since it’s his friggin kid.
That’s his kid too. If he refuses, take him back to court.
It is not unusual for younger kids to have btwn 10-20 respiratory infections a year according to immunologist who my son saw as a consultant after referral by his pulmonologist. Consider having her checked for some type of immunological problem. I know it is frustrating as I went through the same with my son when he was about your dtr’s age. Despite breast feeding & my son being up-to-date on his immunizations, he was diagnosed with an IgG subclass II immunodeficiency after ruling out allergies. As he grew & developed & his immune system matured, he had fewer respiratory infections & eventually no longer required medications when he finally started 2nd grade.
Is there mold present in your ex’s residence???
How can you blame your ex husband for her sickness we shouldn’t be quick to make assumptions that’s just my opinion.
Have doctor test her for allergies. There may be a tree or plants near her dad’s residence.
Tell him he needs to supply diapers and what not when he is with her you shouldn’t have to send her with diapers he is a father and has he half the time he should have everything he needs at his home as you do your own.
As for the medical bills probably have to settle that in court.
Get for her an immune booster at Dischem ! It will help both your children from getting sick so often!
He needs counseling on how to take care of a two year old. She must not be getting her rest or eating right or keeping her or him warm when they go out or maybe house isn’t clean. May be trying to do too much with child and wearing her out. Some thing is not right.
I put my daughter on it plus a multivitamin ! It helps her a lot ! She use to get sick so often that was staying out of school for days and landing in hospital all the time!
Go BK to court get full custody then get medicaide for her …mk him pay more to you they can look to see if his pay has changed and get more to help you …
You need to go back to court asap! That arrangement is definitely not working.
some kids just get sick…
but I would definitely get the court to revise it to where he has to either provide secondary insurance or help cover whatever your insurance doesn’t and stop sending everything with her
he can provide clothing, hygiene products, and diapers/pullups
Take him back to court and up the child SUPPORT.
Child support is literally for diapers, wipes, clothes, and insurance…
You shouldn’t be sending her anything will anyways he’s supposed to supply that at his house not with a child support that you get from him
So he refuses to take her to a doctor when shes with him? Take his lazy irresponsible ass back to court and fight to get that time. Hes medically neglecting her.
Are you a super clean momma? I really messed up my oldest’s immune system when she was a baby. I never let her come into contact with germs. I quite literally swept, mopped, and steam mopped the floors every single morning when she was crawling and every single bottle got rinsed out as soon as they were finished and filled up to soak and washed daily. I never refilled bottles shudder my sister in law does and it’s disgusting. But long story short my kid brings home very little bug that comes into school… to her sister . I hate it too but unfortunately it’s part of life. And apparently the better parent you are at keeping your kid clean as a baby the worse damage it causes. I grew up in a nasty home. Probably where I get my OCD from because I vowed my children wouldn’t never live like that. However I have the best immune system in the house… go figure. Emergen c helps if you can get her to drink it. It is pretty nasty.
He needs to be providing clothing, diapers h the rest of her needs at his home, not u having to send them. You also need to take him back to court & make him take out secondary insurance on her cause u shouldn’t have to pay it all
Smoking in the house with her there can get her sick.
He might have mold in his house or bringing her somewhere that has mold …or even another child that may be around her that lives in a dirty home or is sick as well … I went through the same thing except it was a another child getting my kid sick … I had made a rule unfortunately that my child was not allowed around this kid anymore (not the kids fault it was the parents fault letting him live in filth and not being clean) but the father and the grandma would go behind my back and my rule and let my kid around this other child. My son was always sick after… Till finally the kid moved to another state and my son has been fine since … So … Id ask him who ur baby is around and where…
It should be check out & different arrangements made for her health care.
He’s supporting his child when she’s in your care, not his. His time with your daughter is factored into the amount he pays, so stop sending anything the clothing on her back.
Talk to social services about the situation. They will advise the best course of action with her always getting ill.
Maybe she is allergic to something at his house like a cat or dog
Kids get sick… they’re little germ factories. I dont think it’s his fault or yours.
As for the financials where I’m from that’s above child support and my ex would hsve to pay half.
I would reccomend looking up your laws and your agreement.
But I dont think anyones at fault because a toddler is getting sick…
Ear infections are common for kids up to age 5. A temp is good when they’re sick, depending how high obvs.
Allergic to something over there or possibly mold in his home.
Stop sending supplies to him. He needs to pay the support to you but he also needs to do his share at his house and yes he should help with her medical bills as well. You may need to let the courts set an order that has him talking his share of her care while paying support.
Are there smokers at his house? We got sick if we slept in a room with a smoker
Some illnesses don’t always present right away, who’s to say she didn’t pick up the bug at your house and the symptoms just showed later? Also, if you can’t afford to medical then a revision of your agreement is clearly needed. As her father he should be paying half of everything and he should be supplying his own belongings for her! Shipping things back and forth is ridiculous.
No no no… your NOT responsible to supply his house with supplies… He needs to buy his own stuff for her to have at his house… You need to copy all your Medical out of pocket bills and give them, send them, email them to him. Put time & date you gave them to him. He is financially Responsible to pay tor HALF for any & ALL out of pocket expenses for her medical, prescriptions, dental, eyes… ( even over the counter meds especially if they add up). He has 30 days to pay you back. Keep copys and proff of Notifications you have him. There is clearly something that is getting her sick… He’s either - smoking around her or in the House , car or others are… Or Pets, cat, dog, rabbits, genny pig, any animal with hair even cows can cause it… or Mold, mites, dust etc… I bet once he starts having to pay for all these Medical expenses he will stop what he’s doing or having around her or ckean up the environment he subjects her too… I had the same issue with my daughter… it was bad… come to find out him and his gf was smoking in the vehicle ( on long trips & short one’s)& smoking in the house with my daughter… I took him to court with a Doctor’s order…
Sounds like his house is either warmer or colder than yours
My daughter had that happen all the time for almsot a year everytime she went to her dads and come to find out he was smoking in room and car with her
It could just be this time of year, kids spread so many germs and sooo many respiratory viruses flying about, I know its alarming because my step kids are literally getting sick all the time, but it’s just the season for them
Check your state laws. In Colorado the father has to have kids on insurance whether the mom had insurance for them or not, then they’ll just be double covered.
And no more sending supplies. Child support isnt given to you just so you can give it back to him in the form of supplies.
You can’t put the blame on your ex it’s no ones fault she gets sick and he is being responsible by taking her to the doctor use the child support money to pay medical bills make a new agreement to each provide diapers etc at your own expense
Time to go back to court to change your visitation agreement he should also provide insurance and the childs needs at his house and if not you need a increase in child support
If you both have her equal amounts of time then split the cost of everything down the middle
You dont send anything. Just 1 set of clothes and jacket. He needs to supply stuff. Take him back to court. My kids father and i paid 50/50 weather he wanted to or not
It really sounds like weather change to me. My middle one and myself get sick with everything easily if the weather changes suddenly, or maybe mold in his home. Or possibly a day care or sitters home that she goes to if he works?
As for supplies at his house my ex and i split that. When he takes our 18 month old he gets 10 diapers a package of wipes and a change of clothes and snacks. Just her diaper bag goes with her. And if he uses any out of it there are always 10 diapers and package of wipes in it when i get her back. He does buy his own clothes and things for her tho.
I think if you and the father can not mutually agree on some terms here, you should go back to court and put some things in place.
Also, if u live in a cold climate, the flu runs rampant and it’s hard to keep clear of it. I lived in Alberta then moved to labrador Canada and my kids are sick constantly. And I am OCD when it comes to cleaning.