I am a 27 yr old female. Ive never been one to have a lot of friends so I really have one best friend and we’ve been inseparable friends for over 10 years. We are basically the same person, share the same interests, and do everything together because we are so close. I now have a boyfriend and it’s been almost three years with him. He is also my best friend, he is my person and we are for sure going to spend the rest of our lives together. I really need advice because for the past three years, there has been so much drama within the three of us and I am constantly stuck in the middle because I now need to share my time with the both of them and it gets really hard. I am a people pleaser. I want to always do the right thing and make everyone happy but I am constantly in situations where I need to choose between my best friend or my boyfriend and it always seems like one of them is upset in the end. I feel like a lot of people don’t fully understand how I feel because she is my one closest friend who I’ve done everything with but now I want to be able to go out and do those things with my boyfriend as well but my friend gets very upset. Someone please help. Should I feel bad or guilty for wanting to do certain things with my boyfriend that normally I would always do with my best friend? How can I stop being put in the middle without feeling like a bad friend or bad girlfriend? Also, my best friend and boyfriend are actually friends too. They obviously get on each other’s nerves time to time because they feel like they need to fight over me, but at the end of the day they are friends and they definitely don’t hate each other or anything like that.
Sounds like you need some practice is healthy boundaries. It’s ok to set limits with people, even ppl you love and want to maintain relationships with. Communicate your needs and stop feeling bad. If he is the one and she’s really your best friend they will understand and get over themselves. If not then it wasn’t meant to be.