Divorce Advice after a few years of marriage and toxic ways

Please post anonymously.

Has anyone faced a divorce after 13+yrs and kids? How did you get through it? I’m finally making the decision to leave my husband. I’m tired of the constant bad habits and him allowing his family to overstep boundaries like hitting one of our 4yr olds a few months ago. Even then he chose to still be in communication when them telling about our personal life. Including financial. He never sticks with a stable job and always finds a reason to quit unless there’s a “work wife” that catches his attention. But he always quits and goes back to his parents for $$$$. We have a few kids together and while I understand sometimes there are struggles in life with income, there has never been financial stability because he’s used to getting $$$$ from his family. While I do understand family helps each other, this has become a financial crutch and we have no savings for us and our kids. I’m tired of the fear of getting evicted or constantly going to food pantries. Yes I have tried working before, he met me working but since we got married his jealousy and control got worse. I’ve gone through major alienation from loved ones, and last year I took a step to speak to people again.
He’s an astounding dad to our kids but when it comes to us he doesn’t even plan dates or anything, I usually plan the dates and buy my own flowers. I don’t ask to go out unless it family activities now. But he puts up an image like he’s the one doing it. There has also been physical and emotional abuse. We have tried therapy but he’s stuck in his ways. I know it’s time for me to leave but after so many years this is scary.