Can I get my childs dad for abandonment?

I live in Texas and have two girls. Age 2 and 4. Both have the same dad. Our 1st was a 1 nightstand, and he moved out of state after that. Wasn’t there for the pregnancy or nothing? I wanted to try and be a family; I didn’t have a dad growing up. So we connect, and he moved back down here when my oldest was two years old. I got pregnant, and the true color came out. He’s a massive alcoholic and drug addict. He wouldn’t change his ways, so I kicked him out when my youngest was two weeks old. I have been with an amazing man for almost two years. He loves my girls has his own. I’m not looking to have my boyfriend adopt them that will be on the girls or if he wants to in the future. My kid’s bio father has never been in their lives except for the nine months we tried to be a family. Since I kicked him out, he has moved to AZ with his bio mother (he was adopted) who is a sex offender and hasn’t registered in over two years. She is wanted of now, and she is on the run. He has three other kids taken by CPS and in the foster care system. MY QUESTION IS CAN I PULL HIS RIGHTS FOR ABANDONING HIS KIDS?


I had a lot of issues with my oldest daughters father. We couldn’t find him at all. So we posted a note in the classifieds for 30 days.

He didn’t respond and went to court. He hadn’t paid child support in 2 years and my other daughters father has shown where he takes care of her since she was 6 months and she’s 12 now been adopted for 2 years.

Our situation was really different. We are the first to get our adoption approved as the adopted father and I are no longer together and hadn’t been for like 5 years but never stopped him from
Being dad. I never kept
My daughter from him
Or his family. Only thing different now is she has his name.

We paid for a social worker and a guardian ad litem and an adoption took care of everything. I feel this was the best for us.

So maybe look at step parent adoption if you are serious.

Where I live which is Ohio if you are not married when the child is born and he isn’t listed on the birth certificate you automatically have full rights… so with that being said since you wasnt married and if hes not on the birth certificate and you never did a DNA test he had no rights to begin with and he cant do nothing without taking you to court which is highly unlikely.


Yes…terminate his rights.

You will have to check the laws/requirements for parental abandonment in your state to see what stipulations need to be met.

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I know in arizona its 6 months with no contact from the time you file to have his parental rights removed. I also know that the time needed for abandonment varies by state, so file as soon as possible, and they will be stripped from him at the end of the time that the state says is needed for abandonment. Once his parental rights are revoked, your current husband could technically adopt your children if that is what you want.

I think it varies state to state. Google what qualifies as child abandonment in your state.

For termination you have to look at what the laws and requirements are in your particular state and county. Where we live in Michigan there has to be 3 years of no attempt of contact before they will terminate a parents rights. If hes knowingly associating with a sex offender that’s grounds for termination right there and if his other kids were taken away I’d look into that because depending on the reasons you may be able to get his rights terminated from that too. At the very least you’ll get supervised visits if he chooses to try to come back in their lives.

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Not in the state of Nebraska. Mine were abandoned. You need to seek legal counsel to explain your rights and his rights.
Hope you have everything documented daily, monthly and yearly from day one.

Plus, majority of States will not allow a termination of parental rights unless there is a step-parent willing to adopt. Reason for this is if something would happen to you there is no other legal parent.

You get a lawyer.He notifies Baby’s father of his rights to terminate. If he doesn’t respond( by going to court). it’s over.

I believe you can but the final decision is up to the judge. Just because you want them talen doesnt mean the judge will do it. All you can do is file for it, get your proof, tell your story and more than likely yes the judge will pull them. Especially with kids already taken away amd he is living with a sex offender. But you have to do all the legal paperwork. Best thing in cases like this is to get a lawyer.
My daughters dad molested her and the judge wouldn’t take away his rights. All he did is he is not allowed near her til she is 18. He is currently in prison.

Depends on the state. You can’t in Oklahoma. The only way there is if you remarry and spouse adopts. (I think that’s a wad of bull)
:crossed_fingers:t2: Hope everything works out well for you and the kids!

I’m in texas!!! If you are not married and he didnt sign that paper in the hospital that acknowledges paternity that they do here (I just had a baby here in texas 7 months ago) then he has no rights. He would have to file to establish them.

You should most definitely pull his rights. He hasn’t been involved. However, you keep stating you kicked him out. Not sure if the courts will look at that as abandonment.

You have a good case but you need to contact a lawyer because nobody on here is a lawyer.

And even if they are a lawyer if they are good lawyer if they’re going to tell you to call their office not talk to them over Facebook


Get a lawyer. Don’t ask Fb for help. Good luck


After 2 years yes… look up the texas family law on abandonment… and talk to a lawyer

Following as Id like to know for my situation as well

In my state none of that is enough to pull a bio parents rights.


Consult a lawyer, not the internet.


In some states it is, it depends on length of time of abandonment and varies from state to state and can even vary from county to county. The trick is finding a judge willing to do so

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Don’t ask Facebook … Call a lawyer


You kicked him out he didnt choose that you dont want him around its not abandonment all you have the right to do is ask for child support


Don’t bother. If he is out of the picture, trust me, involving the courts could actually blow up in your face. Judges rarely terminate rights and usually end up forcing visitation.


I’d talk too a lawyer

Abandonment maybe no. They can state you kicked him out he had no choice but to go to his mom. 2 you have to get an attorney. You guys had 2 children so he has come back before at some point. You should have opened a child support case to start some kind of case for your kids way before this thought to prove your words. After you can always put in a motion to dipute taking rights if the case is open and they have records of abandonment meaning missing payments and visits if he has them. It’s a fight you could be in for a while but trying to just strip rights from a parent based on what you posted is not enough evidence to say hes abandoned them. I feel its a fight you can turn into a bigger mess if you dont do things correctly. Every state is different. Best of luck.

Let me check my fb law degree…:roll_eyes:

Call a lawyer. There are many ways to seek free legal assistance for questions through a LEGIT source.


No, he didn’t actually abandon them, you kicked him out. And that’s going to settle that legal battle


An the facebook lawyers are coming out :joy:

Well, as the official lawyer on facebook, I’d advise you to not ask facebook.


Hes out the picture why even bother …u might regret it because courts dont always rule in ur favor…


If you kicked him out and haven’t given him the chance to see his kids, not likely gonna go as planned for you. However, in the event that he’s not once cared for his children, then the judge may rule in your favor for full guardianship, but nobody can make him sign his rights over.


Sorry for what you thought of him God Bless you for having the kids don’t care about what people are saying you got this Amen sister Love you and your kids

Abandonment no, because your kids/his kids are in your care. What you can do is go to court and request for full legal and physical custody of your kids. If he wants to know his kids in the future make it so he has to take a drug test each time and a supervise visit.

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Not really abandonment if you’re the one who kicked him out.

If you have proof of him being in their lives for an extended period of time and then completely going no contact, yes. I went through this with my husband and our 2 babies. He was only ghost for a month when I decided to hire a lawyer, but technically he didn’t abandon them in my case… in my childrens eyes he did though.

I recommend your local legal aid and law library location to get your answer


The best thing for you is to contact a lawyer. He will need to be subpoena to court. He has to legally sign his rights over or be hit with back child support. The only was the state of texas revokes right if he has put the child endanger. You would have to have proof of this. It is hard to get. I tired with my ex.

She asked for help. A sounding board perhaps. Not some of you making comments trying to make her feel bad. Build each other up people. This is a mother in pain


Does he pay child support…If no support or contact for 6 months you can get him for abandonment at least in Wisconsin.

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No. But you can file for sole custody with proof of alcoholism/drug abuse/lack of presence. I wouldn’t try for “abandonment” but he doesn’t have to be in their lives. If they have his last name, change it. If he’s not on the birth certificate I really just wouldn’t bother with any of it.

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Depends on the state. In the state I live in, if the bio parent goes 6 months without reaching out to contact the children in anyway, then you can claim abandonment. But it has to be zero contact and not because you’re not letting him see or speak to them.

I’m here in Texas. Answer to that is no. If he’s not there, leave it alone. All you’ll do is open a book that’ll take years to close :woman_shrugging:t3: Harder than you think.


Depends on state laws. In GA if a parent goes 30 days without financial support or extended visits then you can file child abandonment. It doesn’t take their rights away but it is a criminal charge and punishable with 1 year in jail. I had to file before.

No. You need to go to court and have him give up his rights

It’s different in each state. Contact a lawyer or at least google the laws in your state and inform yourself.

Everyone is focused on the part where you kicked him out. Kicking out of a home isnt the same as out of the kids lives. His obligations don’t depend on his residency.


You need to go after him for child support.Here they keep the other persons income tax until caught up.Also if he ever hit the Lotto or large sum of money you can go after it for back child support.Don’t let him sign off on nothing.

Also, if you kicked him out… Please explain how he abandoned anyone?

His mother’s situation has NOTHING to do with this.

You seem VERY bitter and drama filled. Maybe just chill out and focus on your kids and leave him be.

What benefit would it even be to you to file for abandonment???


y r u giving him any energy still??? he is gone… let him find the wind

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In my state, if he isn’t named on the birth certificate or has not taken a paternity test he has no rights. You need a lawyer. If you can prove his drug abuse, DUI’s? etc. You can get his right to visit taken. He legally would have to sign off paternity to give up parental rights. A good way is to offer to drop all child support in exchange for his signature. Most deadbeats will sign. Their priorities are drugs not the kids. Sex offender Grandparents, can not be in the vicinity of children period unattended. Children may not spend nights as well. My son’s Grandpa is a sex offender. He did 5 years in Tucson. He has to stay on the registry. Even when he moved back to PA, he had to register immediately. Sounds like you have found a good man. Willing to adopt your children and love you is fantastic! Best of luck!

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I’m in Ky and tried just for full custody change when my kids dad was gone over 2 years no contact at all and they denied it saying I have to Peterson him and I could t bc he was all the way in GA and no address and on drugs and basically wouldn’t do anything

You kicked him out… That’s not him abandoning anything. And it’s been two fucking years leave him be. You have 2 kids to worry about, not what a drug addict alcoholic is doing.


So for the people saying that because she kicked him out she likely wont win…r u saying that because she kicked him out if her HOM? I thought thats what she was saying. Not that she kicked him out of their lives. Or did I comprehend that wrong?

Only if he hasn’t contacted the child after so long. Contact is visist, phone calls, letters or payments. If you denied him any contact, it won’t count

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No but like stated previously you can go for sole custody

We proved abandonment in the state of Texas with my daughter and her bio mom. She had our address and phone number. She was to pay child support but didn’t. State of Alabama and Texas monitored it. I had my phone records proving no communications even though she had a court order that she was allowed to call. She just didn’t. It helped our case for termination that she didn’t even show up for court…she was not allowed visitation because there was known drug use and her fiancé at the time was a known dealer. She couldn’t even get supervised visitation.

maybe get to know the people you decide to sleep with first. just give his info to welfare.

In nz. If the father is named on the birth certificate there is litterally nothing you can do to remove him off it and he will always be a guardian of those children until he gives up his guardianship rights on his own.

I have wonder the same thing and in the same situation. My daughters dad hasn’t been in her life for a long time. It doesn’t matter on day to day stuff, her step dad is the emergency contact on everything.
But if I were die in a car wreck tomorrow, her biological dad gets first dibs. I won’t be here to protect her, and no one will fight for a child like a mother. Please don’t accept any of these women calling you “drama.” You are giving away your right to any child support or anything from him. It’s the final cut.

I’m just now starting to look into the process. My friend went through the process. The judge told her there had to zero contact for so many months (I believe 18). I think it’s also easier if your married and have someone willing to accept the rights as a father.

I just went through something similar and went to con salt with an attorney. She informed me there was no need. If you were never married, he has zero rights.

You have a great case, you will need to file a petition to severe parental rights with the court. If you cant afford it there are options to waive the fees. If it’s too overwhelming and you want a lawyer call the local CPS office, there are resources for free legal help.

If hes not on the birth certificate your boyfriend can adopt once y’all are married. If he is on the birth certificate then he has to have no contact or anything for 2 years and then still you have to be married for the other person to adopt. Regardless have an attorney. If you go at it alone you will most likely be denied right off the bat.

My question is why are you wanting to ‘get him for abandonment’? Is he all of a sudden wanting contact with them and you dont agree with them seeing him? Because you made it sound like he is not there at all and doesn’t want anything to do with them but then go into detail about his living arrangements and this new boyfriend that you have. Whats the motivation here?


I live in iowa…my son’s dad was $10000 behind in child support and did not see his child for 4yrs and still had to have him sign over his rights before my husband could adopt him and my son called my new husband dad for the four years we dated…and my lawyer advised us to be married before. We got married in Febuary and the adoption was finial in September…Goid Luck

You have a great case. If your going to I would do it sooner instead of later. Good luck!

My “sperm donor” was arrested for DV with me 13 years ago and just recently for molesting his wife’s child. He admits to abandoning my daughter, he only works under the table so the state cant find him, and refuses to sign his rights over. (He signed her birth cert.) 13 years. I could careless about childsupport Im just glad that trash wont ever have visitation with my daughter.
Its better this way esp if your kids father is struggling with addiction.
Depending on the state mothers have full rights but its shared custody by who ever currently has the children. Like if you were to allow him to pick them up and stay with him. He wouldnt have to give them back because there is no court order of visitation established.
I suggest you get some legal advice on your situation.

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There are no rights to pull from this person. If he were to come back and say “I want to be in my kid’s life” he’d have to go before a judge and prove why you should give him that opportunity.


Every state has different laws. No matter what happened with any of these other people in another state, its based on your state Laws. In the State of Ohio where I am, if the parents have never been married, the mother automatically has full custody and the father does not have any legal rights to said child unless they file in Juvinile court to obtain their rights, even if they signed the Birth Certificate. Again though every states Laws can differ.

I don’t get why people are on here saying, “Talk to a real lawyer, not a computer.” Um. The ladies on here are entitled to asking for advice without unsolicited additional comments. Clearly, she is looking for advice leading up to when she would seek legal counsel. (Trying to see if anyone has been through something similar/knows the process/if it’s possible) If you don’t have real advice or words of encouragement, why comment?


Depends on the state. In Utah it’s 6 months with 0 contact to file abandonment

Doubt it. A judge usually wont remove rights unless someone wants to adopt and thats after showing he wants no intrest in the kids or has not paid or contributed in any way. If he even asks about his kids thats showing intrest and can go against you for removing rights.

Its easier to go for sole custody where he has no legal or physical rights and no visitation rights.

In the state of Texas you can file abandonment at 6 months as long as you and your children have had no contact with him.

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Serve him papers revoking any and all rights. If you don’t know his address they’ll post it in the newspaper and he has 30 days to respond, if no response then the judge all sign off.
This is a better process and more than likely he won’t want to spend money to hire a lawyer.
*this is the process I went through. So I’m not just talking out of my ass or just “giving an opinion”.lol

Can I Get??? Wow. Just move on damn. Y’all were toxic from the start.


I’m sorry but I feel like so many woman these days love the drama or want to feel relevant so they do these things.most of the time it’s because the child’s father had a new girlfriend why can’t woman just leave things alone.unless there’s proven abuse on the children leave the father’s rights ex has not spoke w his children in 2 yrs but it’s still there father so I leave him alone and don’t bother w the drama of court


Your boyfriend and you have to be married for 1 year to claim abandonment (abandonment is 6 months- 1 year depending on the state) and he has to be willing to adopt. It’s near impossible to get a judge to relinquish rights without an adoption

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I mean here whoever has the kids has physical custody until there is a court order so I wouldnt ever let him out of your site with the kids. I got full legal and physical custody of my son after waiting 3 years for a court date. It will be faster with a lawyer but you dont need a lawyer especially if you’re able to get documentation to prove everything you’re saying. My sons father is a master manipulator when we went to court he pretended to be super concerned about his sons well being and tried to said everything horrible thing he could think of about me. However I didnt plan to just flap my gums. I brought proof of everything I was saying especially all the messages from the middle of the night saying he misses me and begging to hang out never mentioning his kid. Like dont get me wrong. He can talk a good game. Just lie after lie after lie. You will be fine I would file before him because the men I know with custody of their kids filed first.

In the UK, parents don’t have rights. Kids do. Parents have responsibilities. So I never understand these questions. I think the op is being very sensible by keeping this man out of her children’s life.

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Take him for full custody

6 months in the state of TX!

You have a good case if you can prove that they are unfit which obviously he is and it helps the fact he’s never had anything to do with them and never paid any kind of support. This will be very simple for you to prove to have his rights pulled as a parent that way you don’t have to take in consideration his say on anything he obviously did not want to be a parent and considering he’s already had children taken by CPS they will grant you full sole custody and pull his rights

If he’s absent and not bothering y’all then leave it alone!!! :woman_shrugging:t2: why waist your money and your time dealing with someone who hasn’t even given y’all a thought?!?! Live your life happy with your man and kids!


Why would you have kids with someone like this?
Man, yall need to smarten up. These are lives you’re bringing into this world.