My husband has an ex baby mama…they were together for a year or so before she got pregnant…so they share a child together. Well now she is once again in the same predicament and giving birth as a single mom…to another mans child…my husband wants to get her a gift and bring it to her in the hospital since she is once again on her own and he wants to support her…is it just me or does this seem off to anyone else? They have no reaosn to be in contact or engage unless it comes to their child and this is NOT his child…I am so upset with him right now…am I overreacting?
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They are raising a child together and that child needs to see how their daddy treats their mum regardless! Look at it from a lens of how you would want your baby raised and what you would want them to see. Best of luck x
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Depends, has she been been trying to get him back or is she a respectable baby mum? Because if she respects the boundaries of your relationship and keeps their communication solely about the child and is respectful to you why shouldn’t you both take her a gift? Have you ever been a single mum? It’s hard as sh*t! Not only that but it’ll be good for the child to see you being adults and respecting each other.
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I would take this to a step mom group to get advice. I have a ton of questions before I could give advice. I would need to know the background information between y’all. Is she HC? Has she caused issues, withheld his child, lied in court?? Lied about you, targeted you in any way?? When he says support, does he mean to be there at the birth, before, after?? What was their coparenting like before this?? It’s one thing to coparent and take his child to meet their new sibling, but saying he wants to support her during this time is too much. She needs to be getting support thru family, close friends, etc. He is married and she is in a vulnerable place, he doesn’t need to be there for that.
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What’s the relationship like right now? Do they get along? Co parent well? Ever are together with their child? Talk to each other frequently? If they get along well then it doesn’t seem that odd, she is the mother of his child. But if their relationship is strained and they don’t get along well it’s a little more strange. Like it or not she will always be in his life in some way since they share a child. Maybe he just wants to make the relationship more amicable to make it easier for everyone.
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My oldest sons father and I split up when he was 2 we didn’t get along for the first cpl years after but eventually that settled. when I had my youngest son (4 yrs after we spilt) I knew straight from day one of finding out his dad wasn’t going to be around but my oldest sons father was so awesome during that time and after. We get along great now and when I had my youngest I was life flighted and went through an emergency C-section 2 months early he was one of my greatest supporters. No feelings were involved we were just friends actually family. Even years after he takes my son and involves him with his other kids and my oldest. his wife is also amazing and includes him. When I needed something he helped even though it wasn’t his son but to him he looked as its his son’s brother. I never expected him to do anything but it was a blessing to have support from him and his past gfs and now his amazing wife. 5 yrs ago I got an amazing job so I no longer needed him to help me out financially for either of my boys but he still would if I ever would need it. We didn’t work out together but we had a child and we became family. I get that it’s not always easy to understand if you never experienced it yourself but it’s not weird or off it’s more common than you think.
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This has me at a crossroads. Because I can definitely understand why you’re upset. At the same time, this new baby is his child’s half sibling. So it’s going to be in your child’s life/husband’s life. It’s a tough one!
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I think taking her a gift as a couple is nice and very mature, take the babys sibling along to meet his brother or sister but as for supporting a child that’s not his, i would feel uncomfortable with that. X
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Round of applause for him because not many would !!! I think he’s being thoughtful , she’s alone wether she chose that “predicament “ or not! He sounds like a decent man and a great dad some of us don’t chose to be single parents , but that’s YOUR child’s sibling . I’m the first to admit I felt bitter as hell when my kids dad had another child he walked out and abandoned them but could have another child. Since then they split up and she became a single mother and I felt sympathy we don’t chose to have broken families !! . Now the children all have a amazing relationship because they are siblings ! I would do anything for their sister and her mum ! So yes you are over reacting her newborn will be YOUR child’s sibling wether you like it or not. Be the women that spreads positivity and peace not bitterness and hate.
Are you sure it’s not his too
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This is his child’s sibling, my partner wouldn’t need to buy a gift in this situation, I would have already purchased one…
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Yes you are overreacting. If she suffers, his child with her suffers. He sounds like a good man to me. He just wants her to be happy so his child will be happy. Be secure in your relationship and let that man be a father and a helping hand to the woman that raises his child. He has a responsibility to that child and right now, she needs support. Celebrate him and help him. Jealousy is an ugly thing.
Just let him get it as he told you, don’t be insecure however if he wants to do more then put your foot down. I just think if you throw a fit now he will just do more behind your back.
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No, he sounds like a lovely guy. She clearly has a poor pattern of behaviour which meant their relationship couldn’t last but it doesn’t mean he can’t do something nice for her.
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Ur wrong he’s being a good man, it’s his child’s mother! If a mum is struggling it will effect his child so he’s doing right thing showing abit of support, maybe go with him if ur feeling jelous
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I honestly do not see a problem with buying a baby gift for her child. He is showing his child that he is a caring, compassionate dad and that is a good example for the child.
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If you both will have her other child while she is in the hospital giving birth, this may be a nice way for that child to meet their new sibling.
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Acquaintances send baby gifts, too. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I think your a little jealous and would like her and her child out of the picture.
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Sounds a little bitter on your part, to me co parenting is much more than just contact over the child… it’s creating a friend for the rest of your child’s life if possible! I hope you never find yourself in her predicament… I also think while you are getting off your high horse that you also gift shop with your husband and join him in welcoming his child’s sibling into the world🤷🏼♀️
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He sounds like a great guy 
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Get on board or get left behind. What are you afraid of?
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I think it’s very mature of him to want to be civil and supportive to the mother of his child.
If you’re 100% sure this is not his child I see no issue. It’s better for HIS child in the long run
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Grow up and help him pick a gift.
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I think so. He may want do it to welcome their child’s new sibling rather its his or not. His kid also gets a promotion of being a bigger sibling. My x has bought and given me things for me during my pregnancy and after delivery checking on me food wise and ever since. He always works with my son for a gift rather it be for me or his brother. And we don’t hook up or flirt at all. We just co parent and communicate and are just genuinely cool with one another.
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I’m not seeing anything wrong with a gift for a baby. He’s showing their child that he’s trying to be supportive of their mom.
So what if she’s a single mom for the second time? Like you said it’s not your husband’s child. You’re making it sound like it’s a Crime. It has nothing to do with you.
Yes, you’re overreacting.
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Personally I think it’s a sweet gesture. This woman is the mother of his child and this baby is his child’s sibling. Having a good relationship with her will make the coparenting so much easier.
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I don’t think it’s weird he wants to buy her a gift as a show of support. I would find it weird he wanted to drop it off while she was in the hospital vs just giving it to her when they exchange for their own child.
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They have a child together. Whether you like it or not. He is doing a nice thing and it shows their child that they are okay and he treats women with respect. Instead of judging you should put yourself in her shoes, lots of things lead to those situations that some people don’t even see no matter how close they are
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I really don’t see anything wrong with this. It would be different if they have a history of disrespecting your relationship boundaries or something of that nature but this sounds like he truly is going there to be kind and supportive.
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A gift to his child’s sibling is one thing, “support” for her as a mom should be limited to what is needed for his child, and the other dad needs to be held accountable for supporting his newborn. The only possible reason to be upset is if he doesn’t get you gifts as well. If he’s just a kind and generous person in general, there’s nothing to be jealous about.
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As his current partner it’s ok to feel insecure and unhappy about it. Acknowledge and validate your own feelings and then think logically. What is his relationship with her? Do they co parent well? Is he open about everything between them? Because if he’s telling you then it seems like he is. Will he give the gift on behalf of the both of you? Now look at your entire relationship up to this point. Has he ever given you a reason to doubt his commitment to you and your family? It would irk me if I was in your shoes but I have to take self inventory. Is it a “me “ issue because you are afraid that 1. She will “think” he still has feelings 2. You feel he actually might still have feelings or 3. You are asserting control and he is not submitting to it. Look at your relationship as a whole and if he came to you, he’s already doing the right thing. Good luck!
So I just want to say your feelings are valid, you can’t help but feel this way and I totally get it. If it were me, I think it would best to try and move last then though. He isn’t doing anything wrong and honestly, it’s a great quality in him and is showing his child how to treat their mom and also making sure his child’s mom is taken care of so she can take care of his child as well. Good luck mama!
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My ex-husband would have done the same with me and my child had he not passed away before I had another child … but his family met my son (with another man) and immediately loved and embraced us because I am the mother of their granddaughter (my 1st child) and my son is their granddaughters sibling
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You’re overreacting. Let them have a civil coparenting relationship. Your husband wants his child’s mother to have a good life-that’s a good thing! Gotta look at what’s best for the shared kiddo!
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Go with him and make the gift from both of you. Take that insecurity and turn it into supportive confident couple. Still sucks but better than being mad at ur husband. 
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So… he got a gift for his child’s new brother or sister? 
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That’s his child sibling. I don’t think it’s a big deal to bring a gift for the baby. People give baby gives to friends and coworkers etc. I really don’t think it’s a big deal.
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The question is why arent you getting the baby a gift as well? there are times in life when you should take the high road and this is one of them
If the kid is even there to see the gift giving noone mentions, on top of only close family should go to the hospital to see a new baby. He should buy a present and have his kid give it to the mom with a card “from our family to yours” so you are included. I should mention it seems kinda petty you mentioning she single again but maybe you know more about her actions in the past than any strangers. My man’s ex had his kid, cheated and went with that guy, got pregnant and he bailed so she slowly put herself around him to where they got back together. Used him for a couple years as the dad to both, cheated again and now went with that guy. For awhile every time they would fight she would be contacting him acting all like they are friends and whatnot, until he and I got together that is. I shut that crap down quick, and so she got pregnant with the new guy and he is dumb enough to marry her. Good luck to them and she can text about our kid but that’s it. Going to the hospital is way over boundaries and is giving her an opertunity for your man to play hero to her, that’s rough for guys to turn down especially with a woman he has a past with.
Go with him show support also it’s his kid sibling momma needs all the support no reason u can’t help
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I would encourage that. That’s his child’s mother and sibling. Seems like a very kind and supportive man and if they can have that kind of friendship it will be great for their child going forward while they coparent. I would offer to go with him to show my support as well.
Wow. I wish I had this kind of relationship with my daughters dad. You’re being selfish. It’s in their child’s best interest that they get along. I think you should be proud of him!
Yea, you kind of are overreacting. That is the Mom of one of his kids. He sounds like he is a great man and showing his child how to co parent properly. It’s not like he was trying to hide his plan with you. Instead of being bitter, how about you be proud of him…
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it’s good for his child to see how mom is treated. It sets the standard for them when they get older and how they should be treated. Girls tend to pick guys like their father and vice versa.
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Sounds like he’s being a good human. It’s his baby mom regardless and if she suffers then inadvertently his child may too.
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Well being as someone who doesn’t have a problem with my ex, I’d say it was fine. My ex and I are like old friends who just happened to make a baby. He even came to my sister’s wedding so I don’t think it’s too much out of the ordinary. Maybe he just shouldn’t get her a huge expensive gift. I might be mad about that.
Definitely over reacting. They share a child together. That child sees everything. No matter how young the child is… I co-parent with my ex and he’s had two different baby mommas after me and I’ve always helped them out. It’s about being a good person and showing support. That should show you how good of a man you have!
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You should go with him and support them both. You’ll have a better relationship with her and your stepson will love you more for supporting all of them
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“She is once again in the same predicament,” …. really? 
But yes, you’re over reacting. They’re raising a child together. Not only is he setting a good example for his child but this baby is his also child’s sibling. If my son’s father & his wife had a child, we absolutely would get them a gift. He sounds like a really thoughtful person.
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I had a kid with someone and 2 years later he had another kid with another woman. I took my daughter there to see the baby and the new gf. I tried to be there and show support too. There’s nothing wrong with it at all. Just shows your trying to support or be there for them. Don’t get me wrong I haven’t seen them since that day but it’s the actions that count. I tried to have the kids involved with each other.
You need to reevaluate a whole lot if you are going to be a successful step mother. You sound petty and childish “once again in the same predicament” like grow up and take notes from your husband who is being very mature and taking into account what affects the mom also has impacts on his child.
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Caring dad that he can show compassion to his ex who welcomed another child as a do her parent. Accept his decision or move on
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I don’t honestly see a problem with the gift. Unless you have other reasons to believe they’re relationship is more than just coparenting. My stepsons mom had a baby when he was about 6 he’s almost 14 now but I took him to see her and baby at the hospital and brought them a gift. I also had a son 2 years ago and she has brought him gifts and also on his birthday as well.
I think their child together could get the new baby a gift for sure and ultimately it would be your hubby that pays for it I of course don’t know all the circumstances but support for mama of my child is teaching my child to be compassionate just as it would be great if you have any children that that mama get you a little gift from sibling of your child.
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His child is watching him love their momma, that shows them how to be a good person. Don’t get in the way of that.
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My ex has given my child gift here and there when their siblings get gifts even though he didn’t father her. He just sees that it’s his children’s sibling and doesn’t want her to feel left out when he sends them gifts. I find it sweet. Not necessary but the kids are all happy. My partner has never had an issue and also thinks its kind of him. I respect what you feel and understand it. I think it just kinda depends on everyone’s feelings on the situation
Much love
My oldest child did this for my when I had my second (not his) although his wife come with and probably picked the present. I truly believe my daughter learned a lot from that as far as how we treat family. You may not like to hear this but they are family not just strangers who share a child. It’s so important to maintain a good relationship while co parenting for the sake of the child and if that makes you uncomfortable then you probably shouldn’t date anyone with children
I would encourage him to take his child with him to help pick out a gift for her/his sibling and maybe some flowers for her mom. Helping his child give a gift to their sibling and mother is a sweet gesture and should help you be more comfortable with the idea that the gift is from the child and not him personally.
Its his childs sibling. He can bring his child up with a gift to meet. i think it is nice.
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Yes be upset, it’s just a phase though. What would be wrong with you going to give gift with him? My ex mom in law gave me baby gifts even after her son and I split… my best advice would be to make sure the gifts are for baby only so there won’t be any mixed signals…
He is being a great father to his own child…by showing them how the mom should be treated. By welcoming his child sibling into the world
Your feelings are definitely valid but I think him being cordial to her new baby is a good learning experience for the daughter they share. If it doesn’t sit right with you, try to find a way to be apart of it too (in a healthy productive way, not in a paranoid gripey way) the old saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”…kind of keep that in mind. There’s nothing wrong with being nice and tactful, while being aware.
Think of it as a gift from his child to the child’s mother. Without more information, it sounds like you have a kind man and he’s trying to do something nice.
Is it a gift from him or is it from his child to his/her mom and or new sibling? This is a huge difference. It’s important for him to be supportive of his child having a good relationship with the sibling.
Supporting her and this child you have every right to be upset. Just because he wants to have a good co parenting relationship with her and give her a baby gift no. Are you also going to be upset every time her helps the child buy the mom a Birthday, Christmas or mother’s day present? If you can’t handle him successfully co parenting with the child’s mother and having a decent co parenting relationship with her then maybe you should move on. It’s in the best interest of the child if it’s parents both have a respectful friendship/relationship in every area.
Nothing wrong with this. I have a great coparenting relationship and he would prob do the same. It’s about kids not you
I think it’s nice that they are still friends. This baby is his child’s sibling and this shows his child that his parents are both good people. I see nothing wrong.
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I would be ok with him getting her a gift, but not sure how I would feel about him bringing to hospital. Your feelings are valid
Not seeing anything wrong with him doing so. Why don’t you join in and go with him to drop off the gift. So that their child sees how you have opened yourself to their child’s needs, instead of complaining. Their child needs to see a good interaction between you all and the biological mother. Stop sweating the small things in life, it’s what bring more negativeness in your relationship.
I’m sure he’s taking their child to see her/his mother. He can take a gift, but doesn’t need to be holding her hand during labor.
My ex did that for me because it’s a sibling not so much about the ex 
honestly I’d do the same if my baby daddy before my husband had another child
Jealous are we?? No need …Respect him…He is one in a million…Not too many like him around.Acting like this will just drive him away eventually. Maybe your too young n immature n need time to grow as a person.My grandsons dad did not father my daughters other 2…but there’s nothing he won’t do for them…He is there 24/7 for all 3…
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I think it’s weird that your not offering to pick out a gift and take to her regardless of her status with the babies daddy, that’s your step child’s new sibling.
He sounds lovely , looking out for the mother of his child ,.dont make many like them
Do it together so it is joint effort… you are a team
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He’s setting a good example for their child. I really wouldn’t be too worried.
Idk, that’s his kids mom, he probably just trying to be nice
Go with him then. That’s still his child’s mother, you sound bitter.
Stop calling women baby mommas, if she is active in that kids life, taking care of that child, then she is a MOTHER… not a baby momma.
Don’t be bitter. If you weren’t emotionally ready for the things that come along with dating a father, don’t date men with kids.
Are you sure it’s not his child? That makes no sense to me.
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That may not be his child, but that is his child’s sibling.
That’s the mother of his child… you sound insecure.
My husband and I gave his ex a baby gift. It smoothed things over.
Have the child get a gift and the dad take him to pick it out
Let him take a gift - and you go with him.
Always a difficult situation.
Well… It’s gonna be his child’s sibling… So…
Nope I would b the samecway as you
That’s called coparenting to me 
Yes that is his baby’s half sibling.
I think him wanting to give a gift to his child’s sibling & support his child’s mother is nice. Just because they aren’t together they don’t have to be enemies. In supporting the emotional needs of his ex he’s supporting the emotional needs of his child. Why do you want to create a hostile environment for your step child?
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If the child is still small I would suggest you go as a family and give her a mother day gift.
Sounds like he’s just being nice. They do have a child together,that his his child’s brother or sister.
You’re overreacting… They share a child together. That baby is their childs sibling
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Don’t second guess yourself. You aren’t overreacting. That’s for the baby daddy of that baby not him. Yes to me that is suspicious.
Think of it this way… that baby is your husband’s child’s sibling. Maybe that’ll help make you feel better
Please forgive me for saying this are you sure it’s not his child
Maybe this one is also his child!
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He’s trying to be a decent human and father … join him and be a good person. You don’t have to agree with how she lives her life but you’re not supposed to punish her. That’s not your purpose on this earth.
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