I have three kids, I’m 24 almost 25. One is a little over two my twins are almost 9mo. And I’m ready to start trying again, but my MiL says she would move and be done if I got pregnant again soon. My grandma would judge and be hateful about it. Am I crazy for wanting my kids tbis close in age ? Idk what to do. My husband is also ready.
As long as you don’t have to rely on other family to look after them then it’s no one else’s business. When you marry your husband and have a family it’s your family to look after weather you have 2or 10 kids. If your mil moves away then she doesn’t get to have the privilege of watching her grandkids grow
I’m not sure what your MIL’s opinion has to do with your decision to have more children or not… unless you rely on her to care for them. I could understand he being upset if she keeps them while you work or whatever as maybe the thought of another so soon is just overwhelming her. If you don’t rely on her for childcare, then it’s up to you and your husband whether you have another child now or not.
Evidently you all are not taking care of your own kids. If your family is reacting to you saying you want another.
Your body, your life, your choice.
I have 6 children and I’m 32!. If you and your husband want to have another baby then you go right ahead and do it… if people can’t be happy for you then you don’t need them in your life! Good luck
It depends on whether your wanting them to watch the children a lot etc if not then it’s your life and your decision
As long as you are with someone who wants that as well or can do it on your own if not
If you and your partner want to have another then that’s completely your choice, nobody else’s but I would ask why they’re saying this. Do they help with childcare because that would be alot on them, maybe that’s why they’re saying not to have another. I’d also consider if you can happily support financially and mentally towards each child. Growing up I never had clothes and things that I needed because my parents couldn’t afford it, I also never spent any time with my mother on my own, I don’t have that bond with my mother that everyone else does. I choose to stop at 3 so i can make sure my children’s needs were all met and I take them all out one on one to spend quality time with them on their own. Xxx
Live your life how you & your husband want to, no one else’s business, It will be your Mother in law loss IF she moves, which I doubt she will, stay happy together
It’s you life not theirs who are they to tell you you can’t have another baby, I don’t get why people think they can tell people how to live their lives, have you babies if you can provide for them, don’t listen to anyone else, u don’t need judgemental unsupportive people in ur life x
It’s you and your family. As long as hubby is up for it and you’re able to do it. Screw everyone else
That’s all that matters is you an your husband are ready. Everyone else’s opinion don’t matter.
Fuck what anyone else has to say. If you and your partner are ready that’s all that matters.
If you are financially stable and able to provide for another child without anyone else’s help then go right ahead.
nothing to do with your MIL, if both you and your husband are ready then go for it
Have your kids. Don’t get old and regret not living your life the way you wanted to
if you & your husband are ready, can financially handle it & both want it- No one elses opinion matters.
If you can financially afford it, and can care for another child then go for it!
25 is when I started having kids. You’re not too old. If that’s what you want then do what you want
If you both want it why not.
If you and your husband are ready theirs opinion should not matter
Go for it. It’s your life
Why should your mil have a say? It’s you and your husbands choice!
Who cares what others say. It’s YOUR body. you and your husband support those kids it’s Noone else’s place to have an opinion
Does she help take care of the kids a lot? What made her say that?
I’m lost on why your MIL thinks she or anyone else has a say? She’s threatening to move? Why?
Need more context
Are you and your husband living with mil or grandmother?
Are you supporting your family alone?
Are you relying on either woman to help or provide care for these kids?
Obviously it’s your body so it’s your choice BUT people are not required to agree with your choices
If you and your partner are ready that’s all that matters
Apparently they must have some concerns with what they are saying. Can you handle what you have let alone a fourth?
As long as you have your own home, your own income and you’re raising them…. Do it. You know what you want and it’s your choice. I wouldn’t do it if you can’t afford it and you rely on other people to care for your kids.
Unless they are helping raise your kids their opinions are invalid. Now if they are free babysitting and telling you they can’t handle more then consider daycare or other child care options.
As a mom to 6 think about Dr appointments for yourself, grocery shopping, house hold chores, it all seems great when they are small but once they start walking and talking good luck finding someone who would watch them so you can make those inportant appointments. It might not be now but there will come a time when you thought you had a tribe and realize you don’t have the support you needed. My husband and I learned that the hard way unfortunatly.
Can you afford it? Do you have the space? Does your family help alot? Would you miss their help if taken?
Unpopular opinion- It’s okay to want kids close in age but how much help are you getting from those family members? The response makes it seem like they’re being used to babysit a lot.
I want a 4th kid and I’m 25, so nooo lol
I’m 28 with a 8 yr old, 6 yr old, 4 yr old, 3 year old, 11 month old
The only thing I would say is that IF the in-laws are helping in some way, such as babysitting, food, housekeeping financially ect… Then I understand their concern. That’s a sh#t tone of work.
If they aren’t in any way helping, then they may need a gentle reminder that it’s not their uterus.
Edit I would recommend giving yourself a few more months ( 6-9 months) before you start trying.
Pregnancy is extremely hard on our body’s. So to some extent I can understand their concern.
Who cares what other people think! I’m 24 and will be having my 4th in August… my husband, our kids and I are all super excited. We don’t have a “village” or much support. It’s mostly just us but we’re all happy and healthy and that’s what matters if you and your husband are both ready then go for it!.. also my oldest is soon to be 6, and my other two will be 4 and 2 this year
Need more to the story . Do you live with family seeing how mother in law said she would move ? Is mother in law financially helping ? Is mother in law baby sitting all the time ?
It’s no one’s business but yours! If your husband is on board, go for it!!
I was a mum of four before I turned 21 - it was awesome! Then I had another baby 19 years later and that’s awesome too!
My honest opinion is … why did your mil say that ? Do you work full time and she is the sitter ? In that case I completly understand her frustration. Lol watching kids is hard and she is probably older so it would be hard to watch another young one in diapers at the same time as all the others … if you are working I would consider using a different sitter if that is the case . Or if she is watching them every weekend maybe doing less weekend things without the kids and start bringing them … it doesn’t sound like she meant to be rude but more so she is saying she can’t physically do more then she is doing . You could also try working from home too . Its your life you can do what you wish , but you do need to rearrange different child care if she isn’t able to keep doing it . Most jobs are 8to 12 hour shifts … thats alot of running all day with small kids she has to do … I know its her grand babies but they get tired too … and they also have things to do too … I’m trying to say that nice because I have a little experience in that area … I have to work flexible and work around alot of things to get by so I don’t have to put everything on my family because its very exhausting for someone else to take on .
I would have to think twice only because of this crazy world, I know I worry about my grandkids and great grandkids. I won’t be here much longer but they have it to face.
Well I think with twins at 9 months ThT will be a bit more hectic. However it’ll take like a year so if your ready you got this.
I had 7 girls from 26-46 I now have 2,3,13,14,17,18. The babies are from my current common law.
Now if you want kids have them all together. My advice
My mom was pissed I had more than one and was very stupid about her opinion.
Because my dear, that’s all it is, is their opinion. Your mom has this idea of what her life is going to look like and your changing that on her. Like your doing it to her personally. So ignore it and do you. As for Grama she remembers different things and she remembers how her own daughter was and is with your kids.
Opinion are like assholes everyone has one nobody wants to see it or smell it. They just want someone to say yes do it.
You know yourself and wanting them all together is handy they all play together.
Again I had two more at 44 & 45
Your good to go.
All you need is patience and a bit of oh well fu$@ it.
As long as you and your husband are the ones that are the ones raising your children and want another, absolutely go for it. If they aren’t being raised by or financially provided for by you guys, then absolutely don’t have more. Why doesn’t your MIL or your grandma want you to have more?
No you’re not crazy but as a mama of five under five at one time when I was younger I will say that I got debilitating depression during the fifth pregnancy and it persisted for a long time… it can become overwhelming very quickly. I would hold off for a few years.
If you can comfortably afford it without help and you don’t count on anyone else to watch them all the time, go for it.
Keep this in mind though, it is easy to have them and hard to raise them. Each child is going to have numerous school functions, sports activities, recitals, and so on. Are you able to be there for all those things for 4 children? Are you planning on working at all? Daycare for each child where I’m from is at least 900 per child , per month full time. After school care is 400 per month per child. If not, and your husband is going to be 100% provider , do you have savings put away in case he gets sick or hurt for a period of time so that it doesn’t bankrupt your family?
Sometimes when we are young it’s hard to look at the big picture. But these things you have to plan for. Having kids isn’t just about having them, it’s about raising them.
My husband and I have trouble just getting our 2 boys to all of their hockey practices and games. It’s harder as they get older, and super expensive. But that is why we only have 2.
You are making these kids with your husband, not your MIL or your grandmother. Stop worrying about what other ppl think. I got three under 3 and I heard it all and I shut it all down by telling everybody to either support me or get the f*ck away from me sis you want more kids? Talk to your man and get started
As long as you can handle 4 kids and not palm them on to other people go for it and you are financially ok and they don’t go with out children aren’t cheap especially when they are in their teens it’s your life and your decision so make the right one for you and the children
My 4 are close my two oldest are 7 and 5 (turns 6 next month) they are best friends and look after each other. They pushed their twins bed together to sleep together they have been doing this for ever and my son is 3 and my baby is 2 also best friends love each other and inseparable. It can be hard at times but they all have a best friend for life I hope
If you can financially provide for them & you & your husband want another child, go for it. I had my four kiddos by age 22. I definitely didn’t plan my first daughter at 17 but wouldn’t trade her for the world! My babies are very close in age (almost 14,11,10 & almost 9) they always have each other and they get along great (most days )
Babies are a blessing
Your family is about your husband and you. If you can care for and afford another then have at it. Grandparents are great but they are not the boss. If you depend on them for full time child care then I’d be mindful of that.
In this screwed up world I wouldn’t want to bring more kids into it. It’s ultimately your choice, but I wouldn’t do it if your family is financially supporting or babysitting your kids on a regular, if that’s the case their comments are valid.
Yes, hahaha j/k. but girl do it if you want to. I’ve always wanted a huge family but I started way too late in life. So now I think we will be foster parent in our older ages and as ours leave the nest .
At your age and the age of your kids you need to wait. None of them are even out of diapers. More to being a parent than just poping out babies back to back and providing just neccesites. Also, if your looking at grandmas as fill in parent youre not financially or mature enough for more babies.
Nope not crazy at all if you can afford it and want more than why not. I have friends that are having babies in their 40s
I had my son at 23, twins at 26 and my baby at 31! Your body , your life, your choice! unless she is paying your way, she should have no opinion on your life.
Can you and your husband afford 5 kids? There is always a chance to have twins again. If you 2 have decided this is what you want And can afford it all the power to you. Grandparent time might prove difficult though, chasing after 3 is difficult for Grandparents, but you love them anyway.
Maybe a tad crazy but I’m about to be 27 with 4 and had my oldest @ 21. This time wasn’t planned but I’m here to say you can do it!
Your relationship your choice! If that’s what you and your man want then it ain’t no one else’s business. And for you MIL to say that is just petty. Do what makes you happy ! No one else’s opinion matters ! But you also wanna give your body some time too. Pregnancy takes a toll. Especially after twins !
I had 4 kids at 24, they are perfectly spaced out and I didn’t miss the “partying in my twenties” chapter at all.
Its not up to your mil or anyone else for that matter. Its up to you and your spouse. I got 4 and when my last was born my oldest just turned 4 i had 4, 4 and under and its the absolute best. They are now 10 my twins 8 and last 6 and I love how close they are
Please think carefully about this. Have you budgeted for the future? Do you want them to go to college? Have you saved enough for sports fees, equipment, and uniforms, Boys & Girls club/Scouts/activity dues/fees, pool or gym memberships, vacations?
Babies take diapers, wipes and maybe formula, which can add up, but soon you’ll have to buy real food and lots of it, bigger clothes and bigger beds. Will you need a bigger car? There are car seats and booster seats, plus substantially more expensive holiday and birthday presents and parties to consider, and probably computers for everyone for schoolwork. Can you handle homework help for three middle schoolers?
Do you just have baby fever? They do grow up and you still have to take care of them all.
If two people who raised families are concerned about y’all having more kids, please think about why and be honest with yourselves about your motives. What if neither grandmother were around to help? What if you have to move for a job, god forbid divorce or one of you becomes disabled? How much medical and dental care can you afford? What if one of your children turns out to have special needs?
Please enjoy the ones you have now and see how it goes when you have three mobile little ones tearing around the house, screaming and hitting each other. And think about three rambunctious teens who try to defy you at every turn.
You’re young and have many more years ahead of you for having kids. Please wait a few years.
Why do any of them even care? If you guys are able to afford it and have someone to watch them (if needed) do what you want. I understand frustration from your mil if she’s watching the kids, but you could find someone else, if that’s the case. Do what you want.
It’s yalls life and family. If it’s what you both want, and MIL and grandma don’t pay your bills or care for your kids, then their opinions don’t matter do you mama and get to procreating
Ultimately the decision is yours. My personal opinion is that you should wait for the 9 months old twins to be a little older, but don’t rely you having a baby on what other may think or feel. If your MIL want to move, let her. If your grandmother want to be hateful towards you because of a choice you e made with your partner well that’s on her.
Do what you think is right for you and your husband. As long as you have the means to take care of the child, do what you feel.
These little babies are so sweet wait until you have a house full of expensive rude teenagers
I had my 4th at 26🤷🏻♀️. And I never gave a single F who had to say what about how close or how many kids I have. I’m the one who financially and psychically supports them. I did get my tubes tied after my 4th. My body is TIRED. My mental health is struggling trying to keep up with my house and all my kids activities. I don’t get much help, but my kids, my responsibility. And 4 kids is rough sometimes lol. The only way I can justify someone having an opinion on how many kids you have is if those people regularly are needed to watch your kids for you. I was pregnant with my 4th the same month my youngest turned one and it was hard on my body. My doctors had me as high risk for having pregnancies too close together. So in my opinion I would just wait a little longer before trying to get pregnant again
Do what makes you and your husband happy it your little family and unless there medical reason it not there business
I would say if you and your husband are ready then that’s what counts. Just be prepared to care for them all. Consider the cost of living, your financial status. If you have weighed the options and still want number 4 then go for it.
I had 4 kids by age 30 - it’s a tremendous challenge but rewarding - forget about sleeping 8 hours a night - lots of work to keep the family going each and every day -
Yes I think you are crazy.
Decision for you and your husband only. If you make it You raise it not then . Follow your heart
Run your own life…I assume you do not depend on those family members for childcare.
I had my 4th baby at 31 . It’s your body and your life don’t let anyone dictate your decisions . If you and your husband are in mutual agreement then I say go for it
You’re ready. Your husband is ready. It has nothing to do with anyone else.
If you and your husband are ready and can afford it do it!
Keep in mind of the possibility of having twins again. There would be 5 little ones to care for.
I want another baby abd I’m in my late 30’s.
Personally I would wait at least 6 more months , but do what you want.
It is your life and choice.
It’s between you and your partner no one else.
Its not their life or decision.
I had 5 before I was 25
If y’all are providing, go for it.
It’s your life, no one else’s. Do what’s in your heart.
Your body your choice, your family your choice, your house your choice.
Just hide the pregnancy. Nobody can stay mad at a baby
If they are helping you raising them then I don’t blame them.
I’m 24 with 5 do what u want it’s ur life at the end of the day. If she wants to move offer to help
If you and your husband can do it all by yourselves 100% go for it. If others have to help in any way - then no .
Yes you’re crazy unless you e ample funds to give them everything they need.
Do they have valid concerns? Can you support clothe and feed them independently so you are not asking for help?
You want more? Your husband wants more? Go for it. No one else’s opinion matters
Maybe you shouldn’t have any more because , honestly, if you base your pregnancies on the votes from your family… then probably not…
You and your husband should be the only ones to decide
Girl, you’re still young! Get it!
Id tell everyone who’s negative,bye.This is your life,your choice.
As long as YOU can afford another and your not on welfare do what you want
My husband and I are 26&28, we have four kids aged 5-1.5. I will tell you now, ITS A LOT. But I wouldn’t change a thing! If you absolutely love being a mom, and it’s what you want, DO IT. Fuck everyone else.
I think it depends on if a. You’re taking care of them yourself or using family as a constant babysitter. & b. If you can afford them. Keep in mind you may very well end up with a second set of twins, 3 kids can turn to 5 kids real quick, my ob told me the closer you are to 30 the more likely you are to have multiples if they run in your family.