AITA for getting mad my boyfriend decided to go see his sister instead of me?

Am I in the wrong about this fight with my boyfriend? We have been seeing each other for 8 months and I figured he would want to spend NYE with me so we could share a kiss at midnight…but apparently his parents surprised him with a trip to see his sister who is in the military and now won’t be here…I told him its BS and he is with me and his family should respect and understand that he would want to spend time with ME his SIGNIFICANT other on a holiday…I told him if he went we were done and he legit left…was I wrong in this situation? I feel like I am not…like I should be more improtant if we plan on getting married one day


You sound selfish. His sister is in the military. Obviously there are reasons she can’t come to him. I hope he leaves you.


Yes, you are being selfish, entitled, and petty. He should drop you now.

As a spouse being married to a solider, whenever family can visit and see me it is a huge blessing. You never know when you will be able to see that soldier/family member next.


As a sibling to a soldier, currently not in the states, if I were given a chance to see my sibling, you bet, I am there. Husband or no. Family 1st. And honey until the day you say I do, you aint family and even then giving ultimatums, you’d be divorced! Glad he is starting fresh.


Yeah, you’re wrong! I’m assuming you see each other on a regular basis and this was a gift to see a sibling in the military who probably rarely sees. If it were me, I’d be happy for him to make this trip. I think you’re being selfish.


He should never have to choose between his sister or his girlfriend and I’m glad he did the right thing went to go see his sister …girl bye !!!


Yes you’re wrong. That’s his sister who he probably hasn’t seen in a long time. He can’t help when the trip is, he didn’t plan it. New Years isn’t even a big deal. Let him see his family without giving him ultimatums. That’s what’s BS in this situation.


Yes you’re wrong. It’s a chance to see his sister! Probably hasn’t seen in in a very long time. He has been her brother since his birth and will always be her brother. You’ve only been with him 8 months! You plan on more and actually having a NYE with him I think you need to be more understanding.


You’ve been in his life 8 months… His sister has been there his whole life… :joy::joy::joy::joy: you are the problem, not him.


Glad he chose his sister. You sound exhausting. Its his sister. His sister in the military. That could literally not be here tomorrow because she’s, ya know, in the military. If you can’t support family being family then you don’t deserve to be in it.


Entitled much?

Happy he’ll be starting off the new year with love and mutual respect :pray:


I don’t think you’re wrong. I just think his family should have bought you a ticket to go too since y’all are a couple now and they should have taken your feelings into consideration.

Your so wrong he doesn’t see his sister often and that’s his family and family will always come first in my opinion you are second best my dear


I think you are in the wrong. It’s his sister and he probably hasn’t seen her in quite some time. I feel you are a very immature and selfish person to not see how that may be important to him. Being in a relationship/marriage means you make compromises and this right here us one of those compromises. Maybe he needs to stay away from someone who is this controlling and ready to break up with him because you didn’t get your way. Grow up.


You ARE wrong! His sister is serving and you are barely a girlfriend. Honestly giving him an ultimatum this early on is quite toxic. Pick and choose your battles wisely, because this shouldn’t even be one of them.


he should be thankful that yalls relationship is now over. :triangular_flag_on_post:

i pray he has a safe trip and that he spends quality, needed time with his sister :yellow_heart:


I for sure think you are completely wrong, you’ve been dating for 8 months, that is his sister and she’s in the military which means they don’t see each other that often, he is entitled to go see his sibling instead of being there to kiss you on midnight


AYTA? Yes….yes you were. You gave him an ultimatum and he left. That relationship sounds like a wrap. He doesn’t get to see his sister often as she is in the military. Hope he has safe travels. But girl… definitely wrong on this one.


He made his choice when he walked out the door. Obviously it wasn’t you :woozy_face: & for good reasoning.


Wow, family comes first and you are just the girlfriend.


Wow. Hopefully he finds a new girlfriend there. Obviously you don’t understand how military works, they are only home periods of time. And I would probably guess they are a close family.
The only way I would see your behavior valid is if this was an ex girlfriend his parents got him a ticket to go see. :roll_eyes: time to grow up honey.


You are replaceable, his sister is not…you choose what you want in a relationship, not someone else, pack up, move out, and learn to create your own happiness, or go with him…your choice.


Yes, you are incredibly wrong here. You’re not married, you haven’t even been dating a year, his family is more important, especially the chance to see a sibling who is in the military he may not get the chance to see.


Yes you are in the wrong. It’s his sister not like an ex.


You’re very wrong. It’s incredibly selfish, and frankly; you come off as controlling. Just because he’s dating you, doesn’t mean he can’t see and spend time with his FAMILY for a holiday. Get over yourself.


Yes, you’re absolutely 100% dead wrong. I was a soldier once coming home to see family is something we dream of doing. You never know when you’re going to come home again if at all. We are fighting for YOUR freedom. I would’ve walked out the door and not even turned back if I were in his shoes too.


U sound ridiculous. I understand being bummed but making him choose between family and you was too far. Im glad he chose his sister. U ask if u were in the wrong but clearly u believe u weren’t. You’re very lucky if he chooses to speak to u again after that bc I sure wouldn’t.


As a sibling to a military brother I would go see him in a heart beat. It’s been 5 years and counting. It hurts that someone doesn’t see that. So personally I think you are wrong to feel that way


You sound young and spoiled. You are not his wife, you are a girlfriend of less than a year. It’s ok to be disappointed. But trying to get him to choose you over his sister he probably hasn’t seen in a while is wrong. Make other plans of your own, and try putting yourself in his shoes while you work on you. Since you forced a breakup, wait a while before you date again


OMG break up now. It’s a holiday that isn’t about family or anything important. The fact that you are so selfish and ridiculous that he wants to see his Family who is in the military is shameful. If he chooses to stay with you after such an immature thing you don’t deserve him. A military individual doesn’t get to decide when they come home or for how long -you should be mindful that someone who’s serving this country so you can have a hissy fit over it is way more important. It’s not a real thing ( kissing at midnight)and again believe it or not there are lots of people that are glad and happy their family member hasn’t been killed. You aren’t the only person who matters to your BF. You need to really think about what matters and think if you have any empathy or feelings for anyone besides yourself and getting some cute pictures for the 'gram or whatever you think is NOT more important than family. If he breaks up with you because you are a snot you can focus your energy on whatever poor guy that comes along next. I don’t know many who will see marriage in your future with this guy.


I think you are overreacting. I am a former military spouse and you don’t know how much those visits mean to these soldiers. You don’t know when he’s going to be able to see his sister again. You don’t know if she’s going to deploy you don’t know what the circumstances are and to tell him that if he goes to see his sister over spending time with you, you’re done. I guess I’d be done with you.


Girl you need some therapy! It’s only been 8 months. Even if y’all were married now, you’d still be TA, just because y’all are together doesn’t absolve the fact that y’all have families! And frankly, if you sound like that now, I wouldn’t even want to get engaged to you, let alone marry you.

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You are definitely wrong and need to grow up. The world doesn’t revolve around you. His sister is in the military and his parents want the family together, stop being selfish and childish


Ma’am I’m sorry but this is childish it’s been 8 months and his family surprised him with seeing his sister. As a military sibling myself I would of jumped at the opportunity to see my sibling. And you also have to respect it his family and it doesn’t seem like your engaged yet but your showing him you can’t compromise with him instead getting upset. You can still have a great time I promise. One year My hubby fell asleep prior to ball drop. No midnight kiss It happens I promise it will be okay

Yes you are definitely wrong, think being single for now is better for you. You have a lot of thinking you need to do first. That was very selfish and childish to give him an ultimatum.


Yes. You are wrong. My son is in the army. We don’t get to see him much. I imagine he doesn’t see his sister often either. That’s his family. Your a girlfriend. You can literally see him anytime. Good thing for him you broke up with him


Omg you are so selfish and entitled to pull this crap and come between a choice of you or his family. He has made the best choice walking out the door and leaving your drama behind. He can get another girlfriend, he can’t get another sister. Grow up or you will be lonely a long time

I hope he finds better. Never deny someone their family. You are :100: % wrong


To answer your AITA question…yes. Yes, you are. If you really love your boyfriend, you would understand that his sister is family–and throwing a child’s tantrum and giving him an ultimatum will ensure that noone in his family (including him) will want to invite you into their family. Try to see things from his perspective, he sounds close to his family, and is probably missing his sister while he is away. Being supportive would have been a better approach. I understand that you are passionate about it, but what is 1 holiday if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with this man? Relationships are about support and compromise, not ultimatums and drama :expressionless:


You are dead wrong for that and he was absolutely right to legit leave as you put it… it’s not like he’s out partying with friends… when you have family in the military you jump at every opportunity to be with them… you sound selfish and ultimatum’s don’t help your situation. You aren’t married so he is free to do whatever without you giving him grief :woman_shrugging:t2:


Yeah I think you overreacted a bit. It’s still his family and his sister. If you are in a serious relationship then inviting you also might have been nice. I do understand you feeling upset that he won’t be with you. But you gave him an ultimatum and he picked his family.


You just saved that man a lifetime of trouble. You are beyond wrong and completely immature. You have wasted 8 months of his life and will be a hilarious psycho-girlfriend punchline in his jokes moving forward.


I hope he leaves you. His sister is in the military he doesn’t get to see her all the time that’s his family. Seems like you think everything should revolve around you seems very selfish of you to act like that

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YOoooo…. Your selfishness is UNREAL. His sister is in the military, which probably means that he doesn’t get to see her often. This time spent with her could be precious, and you want to take that away from him??! :astonished: In my opinion, if you really love this man like you claim… his relationships with his family should be important to you. It’s NOT all about you!! Let the man have time with his sister. His family came LONG before you. There are special bonds there. He chose you to be his partner in love, but his family matters TOO!! His relationships with his family are a direct impact to his happiness. He deserves ALL the love that’s available to his life. Who are you to try and take that away from him over your own ignorant jealousy??? Damn… I’m glad he chose The “Fuck you, and I’m going to go see my sister regardless option” because your little ultimatum is selfish and inconsiderate. Also… You’re lucky I’m not your man’s sister, because this situation alone would FOREVER mark you TF OUT in my book. :100: #RealTalk

I can’t believe I’m saying this you are being a very selfish b**** he needs to go be with his family and his sister who is serving our country to protect us normally I side with the female but you are so wrong unbelievably wrong I’m going to shut up now before I say other things

Yes. You are so wrong. He obviously misses his sister. Don’t be a jerk. Let him go, apologize profusely when he gets back, and pray he doesn’t leave you. We all make mistakes but that’s pretty mean to be mad about that.

Your boyfriend does NOT need permission from you (a replaceable person) to go see his family (people who can never be replaced) that makes surprise trips to go see another family member who’s often gone. He did the respectful thing by informing you about the change of plans and you should have been understanding and even very happy for him that he has a family like that. It seems you showed who you are and won’t get a chance to be a part of his and his wonderful families lives. Like I said before, you can be replaced, his parents and sister can’t be replaced.

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Hell to the no! You must be young. He needs his family and especially if his sister is in the military, he should go see her when he can! You are naive and should not be in a relationship if you can’t understand how important family us! Grow up!


My brother was in the military, I live 800 miles away from my family, holiday or not, I do not get to see my family often, if I have a chance to see them, I’m going. If you love him, you would understand. You are in the wrong.


You are Selfish AF!!! Kiss that man before he leaves. Sisters are FOREVER. Lovers come and go, Js!!

Um you can’t really be mad at home for wanting to spend time with his sister… He may not get to see her a whole lot especially if she’s in the military


You are super selfish. That’s his sister and she is in the military and you two have only been together for 8 months. Get over it. You are 100% wrong for giving him an ultimatum and I’m glad he went!!

You are so in the wrong. I understand you would love to spend the holidays with him but with you saying his sister is in the military, they do not see each other often and he never knows when or if he will see her ever again. His sister probably has not spent any type of holiday with family in a long time. I think you should have been supportive and told him to have a great time and you will be waiting for him to get home and then kiss him. You say you want to get married to him but if I was him I would never marry you seeing the kind of unsupportive person you are. Someone needs to wake up and stop being so called entitled.

You are really wrong and sound like a child. His sister is in the military? Than hell yes I want him to go see his sister and it really shows what kinda man he is. all this woman talks about is wanting a man that’s there for his family. Well guess what this man is. This shows he cares about family and one day when he has kids it shows he will not put a woman before his kids (when he has kids). You can spend time with him when he comes back let that man go see his sister. And honestly I can say if you would have told me that if I when and seen my sister you was done with me I would have left you right there. I would have not waited on you to leave me I would have been gone. At some point you have to grow up

With that attitude you won’t get married. His sister is in mitallery. This could be his last chance to see her. She might not make it home.yes you are aita. Grow up

You are the arsehole yes. 8months wow his sister is in the military its his family get on board and respect this. 8 months and you already gave him a ultimatum me or your family this will spell the end to your relationship.

So entitled ! I wish I could see my sister . Her bf wouldn’t allow her to see us. She’s gone now and what I wouldn’t do to see her . My husband doesn’t control me an we been together 12 years . He knows there’s situations I would always put him first and our children but also knows I have siblings that’s blood like wtf maybe try make plans To go or something instead of keeping him away. The family will dislike u if u do that.

Maybe your feeling left out. That you should be considered as a pair. I had a Christmas Eve once, that we spent with his family. I said I was happy to go as long as he could drive me home at the end of the day. Of course he drank like a fish and couldn’t drive me home. I was so upset cause I’d been out of my comfort zone all day and wanted to wake up at home with my parents. I was only young. So I got an awkward lift home with his aunty. Needless to say I was angry. He was so inconsiderate and rude. His mum was all about how he was her son and needed to spend time with his family and I was crying and said: he’d promised to take me home. He shouldn’t have been drinking like a wanker. It took 5 horrible years till I finally took my rose coloured glasses off and left him.

Yes, you are oh so wrong… Everyone else is correctly explaining why so I’ll save the time… But, girl! You sound crazy😂


You sound crazy. I’d leave too :joy::joy::joy: a person he’s been with for 8 months, and his sister he hasn’t seen in probably longer than he’s been with you…:roll_eyes: :person_facepalming::person_facepalming: I’d pick my family too! Sellllllfish

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Dude, that’s his sister… if you’re gonna dump a dude for him choosing to be with his sister, (she’s in the military so likely hasn’t seen her for a while), then he’s better off without you. How controlling and selfish of you!

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Youll have the rest of your life, shes got this one time with him. What if its the very last time???

As a woman who is married to a military man and has a brother-in-law in the Navy that doesn’t get to make it home for the holidays all the time, I say stop being selfish and let him visit his sister. She is putting her life on the line for your freedom! if I was him I would dump you.

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First yes your 100000% TAH second seeing my sister in the military is the absolute most important thing in this world seeing her is absolute priority you seriously sounds awful im glad to see he escaped and got those true colors before it was to late he definitely got lucky early on :joy::joy::joy::joy:

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If you feel your feelings are justified , that is all that matters.
But I, personally, since you asked, I feel you are over reacted, on a major level.
You could have gone with him/then, paid for by you (and maybe he could have offered to help with the price) but as you’ve only been dating for 8months, YOU being upset about him seeing his family for the holidays is a HUGE RED FLAG … FROM YOU!!!
Cut your losses since you’re wanting more than he is willing to give. You both deserve to find and be with someone who makes you happy

Ya, you’re wrong. You want him to skip seeing his active duty sister with family to stay up for a kiss that you can do anytime? Or should I say, could’ve done anytime? You’ve shown your true colors to him and seems he made his choice. My whole family drove almost 4 hours to intercept me at a airport I had a 30 min layover in just to see me for a few minutes as I was on my way to deploy. It meant everything. My brothers and I would schedule our leave so we’d all try and be home at the same time so it wouldn’t be years apart from seeing eachother. Take this as a lesson to improve yourself and your empathy.

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I feel you are in the wrong. People don’t need to drop their family just because they are in a relationship.


Sorry but I would have choose to see my sister too. He can have any time with you. He apparently doesn’t get to see his sister very often. You as a grown woman should never make him choose like that. You should have expressed your feelings and explained why you felt that way. But remember he only has certain times he can spend with his sister and now days you take what time you can get with them life is to short.

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If you get married, pfft. His family isn’t important to you? You sound like you want things done your way only, which isn’t a relationship.

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As a military sister, if my partner ever said “it’s me or your military member whom you only get to see very little”…. Yeah, I’d be just like your boyfriend. It’s a selfish idea to want him to stay for a kiss at midnight. He will be back once he is done visiting sister. Although, I wouldn’t come back tbh.


Not one of you thinks he’s lying and that he’s going to be with another girl? :thinking: make sure he FaceTimes at 12 so ALL of you can celebrate the countdown. Then I’ll believe his story that he’s with his sister. :roll_eyes:

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Yes you are very selfish, think about your brother and parents

I’m glad he was smart enough to go with his family. You sound like a horrible control freak. That man’s family should come before a nye kiss :joy:. Please grow up.


Are you for real? His sister’s definitely more important, your relationship of 8 months was insignificant in comparison to the one he has with his family. Not to mention his sister is in the military, fighting for our country. Have some respect. Do yourself a favor and walk yourself out to the curb for trash pick up. Shame on you.

Not only are you 100% in the wrong, you’re selfish & immature. He’s only been your boyfriend for 8 months and probably won’t be after this. You’re mad that he’s visiting his sister, who I’m sure he hasn’t seen in a while, because you want a kiss at midnight :rofl::rofl: You should really grow up.

Girl you’re crazy. I hope he doesn’t go back to you. It’s his fucking sister! Who he probably hasn’t seen in a long time because obviously his parents knew this would bring him joy. Kiss those 8 months and wanting to get married GOODBYE! You deserve to be alone on NYE

Wow, you must not see your reason of being able to be free while those that over seas fighting for your freedom. Selfish, he’s better off without you. You’re right to let him go.


:rofl::rofl: you’ve been with him 8 months and pull this. His sisters in the military, I’m guessing he can’t just see her as he pleases. I hope he sticks to his guns and stays away

Oh your way in the wrong. That’s his SISTER. that’s family and family comes first. You have been together for less than a year. You can’t truly call yourself his significant other. Your a joke. I hope he leaves you honestly. Grow up

So wrong he prob doesn’t get to see her much and you can’t pull him from family. Sounds selfish for being mad at him. Why not ask to go with him instead of stirring up the nonsense

You’re definitely wrong. Not only does he not get to see his sister often, but she’s also in the military. This could be the last time he sees her for a long time. You’re literally jealous of his own family. Get a grip. He isn’t leaving you. He’s just spending quality time with his family. How can you even compare a kiss on NYE to a visit with a loved one? They aren’t even in the same ballpark. To be honest, an 8 month relationship is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Keep up your immature ways, and it won’t progress any further than that. If you truly love him and have his best interests at heart, you’d be happy that his parents gifted him this opportunity. Stop making things difficult for him. If he stays, you’re happy, but his family is heartbroken. If he goes, his family is happy, but you’re mad. Either way you’ve set him up to fail. It shouldn’t be that way. People should not be made to feel bad for vising their family. Especially so early into a relationship.

You’re definitely in the wrong. That’s his sister, who he probably hasn’t seen in awhile since she is military. I hope he enjoys every moment.

My sister & I are like :crossed_fingers:t2: let someone I’m dating for 8 months tell me I can’t go see her & they’ll never hear from me again.

If my HUSBAND told me "me or “family” &I don’t get to see them often especially military I would leave him… there’s plenty of holidays &everydays he can spend with you or family close to home… his sister doesn’t get that same freedom

You’re wrong. Grow the fk up. That’s his sister! She’s in the military and he obviously doesn’t get to see her.
Omg, you don’t get a kiss!! How will you ever survive?!
I hope he leaves your immature ass forever.

You are a big inflamed as*hole and extremely childish. I hope he runs fast and far from you.

I think you are in the wrong. For too many reasons to type out on a Facebook post. But, overall, you guys are in an early stage in your relationship. Family is very important! If his sister is in the military and it’s rare that he sees her, but is able to with a trip his parents surprised him with, then a good girlfriend would be supportive of that and excited for him. If you guys plan to get married some day (not sure if that’s an agreement between you or just your hopes) then you will have many more New Years to celebrate together. I feel your ultimatum was out of line and if I were him I would have left, too.

You sounds like a control freak. No wonder he basically ran away.
You need to do some deep thinking about some things in life. Just by reading this I would swear you’re a 15 year old girl who just got her heart broken for the first time. This is all coming from emotional thinking instead of rational thinking.


You’re the one who’s replacable, not his sister. Remember that :joy:


Wow you sound like a spoilt brat!! His sister is in the military fgs what about if they deployed her somewhere and he didn’t get to see her again for years or possibly never again… I hope to god he doesn’t marry you lady

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Question here? Why didn’t you go along to see his sister with the rest of his family? Have you met his sister? Were you not invited? Has she been gone for several months or years? Those are the questions you should be asking yourself and him. Rather than be upset that he went to see his sister. Try to understand that his sister and family means a lot to him and you should thankful for that, if you really intend to be a part of this family someday?

Do the poor guy a favor and keep your promise about being done with him! What is wrong with you?! Thats his sister thats been in his life FOREVER. Youve been in his life 8 months and with an attitude like this you probably wont be in it for much longer. You have some growing up to do.

Your are the winner…his military sister who he apparently doesn’t see often I’m and in this messed up world Is willing to protect our country.regardless of how anyone may feel about military or battle and if you were planning on marrying him one holiday wouldn’t make or break anything but If I was him I wouldn’t come back

His sister is in the service. You should be ashame of yourself
He should go see his sister. He probably hasn’t seen her in a long time. Might be a long time before he sees her again. He can see your ass everyday. I would walk out on myself. Not look back.

don’t think you’ll get anyone to agree with you, I was in the military I didn’t get off often so to get to see family was a huge treat. Think about it girlfriend for 8 months or sister I’ve had all my life. He dodged that bullet

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Sorry,not Sorry

Girl bye, grow up :joy::joy::joy::joy: Chile I would end the relationship if it were me.

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You are definitely wrong! He’s visiting his sister who’s in the MILITARY. That’s alot more important then seeing you, someone he can see every day! Now hopefully when he comes home he finds a better women to be with.


Well I may sound cruel you been with him 8 months it’s his sister in the army so perhaps be a little understanding I get it NYE but he’s not tied to you and if he left after you said that I’m not surprised his family came first not an 8 month relationship. :woman_shrugging:

Girl. Yes. Yes you’re in the wrong. You gave him an ultimatum to be with you or not see his sister that’s in the military and has probably been gone for how long??
That’s sooooo selfish of you, you’ve been together 8 months. Like honestly who the fuck are you when he’s spent his entire life with her, HIS SISTER. I thought you were gonna say wanna spend it with his friends, he made the right choice