AITA for enforcing this rule or go to school or move out?

Ok so am I the bad guy here my boyfriend just moved in with me along with his son my rule is you go to school or you move out his father don’t work (long story) he had an accident and can’t work his son just moved to a new school and after one day is refusing to go want to drop out am I the bad guy to say you gotta go both of them


Would depend on how old the son is. If he is happy to drop out and go straight to work I’d be okay with it. If he’s contributing to the household that’s fine.


No we all have to do things we don’t like he had to have a education find out what the problem is or dad do it

“You earn or you learn” in my house


My daughter knows that she can always come home. She’s just about to turn 13 but she knows when she gets older, she’s always more than welcome to stay home. We, of course, would charge her rent but it won’t be some ungodly insane number like 1500 per month but probably more like 400-500 per month. My SO and I agreed that we’d even save that money for her so when she is ready to move out, she can use that money as a down payment for her first house or something like that.

Ya you should t have to support them

1 Like

Reads like you need to go back to school to learn how to wright and use punctuations.


If it’s your kids that’s fine a little harsh but whatever. But someone else’s kids nah. If it were me that wouldn’t help any relationship with either of you

  1. I have a feeling you already knew that bf wasn’t working before he moved in. And also about the bf child. I think you should sit bf down and talk to him.

Should be don’t go to school then get a job and pitch in for bills.

It’s your place. You have rules. Don’t like them then there is the door. I get tired of people trying to shame people for following through on the agreement that was made. This is why people take advantage of people. Because they know people dont stand up and enforce the rules or agreements.


Well you sound a bit hypocritical. At first you are making an excuse that the dad doesn’t work cause of injury. But you’re ending this with “both of them gotta go”
I do agree with school or work, pick your poison. But the “or both them go” doesn’t make sense. I think you aren’t giving the full story here. Get your own stuff together mama.


NTA. You said they could move in if he went to school. He isn’t so he can move back out.

Way too much missing info here to give any kind of objective advice. From what was said, sounds like you changed your mind about wanting to live with the BF and the son not wanting to go back to school is just a good justification and excuse. You knew BF wasn’t working before you let him move in…so

As somebody already said…make it make sense.


More information is needed. How old is the child?


Too much information missing
But most important missing detail! How old is the son ?

1 Like

This sounds like a terrible situation all around. I’d kick em both out

If he’s old enough to get a job, then he can work get his GED in the mean time, contribute to the household or he can go. As long as he’s 17 years old, any younger it’s school

That depends entirely on if you have permission to parent them. Sure it’s your house, but it isn’t your kid.


Wait, so your boyfriend doesn’t work and you’re worried about his son? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!


So your boyfriend can’t work and your kicking him out because of his son? I wd talk to them both first ! I assume your not planning on him still being your boyfriend after they move?


Honestly I’d be trying to find out why the kid does not want to go back. It may be an issue with the school. Or a student there. Give him other ways to attend, like doing it online, or GED classes. Sounds like you’re not even trying to help, just bam go.


Both of them would be leaving lol… seems like 2 defendants just moved in on you.

  1. regardless of whatever, a man who is not my husband wouldn’t be living with me and not working. IDC what his excuse is. my husband would have a period of time to find work or get out unless a doctor medically determined him disabled.

  2. is the mom not in the picture? are mom & dad not communicating about their kid & whatever is going on at school? honestly, their kid is between them. even if you were married to dad.

  3. atp, they both need to go. if you put his son out, he’ll likely (and should) leave too.


I mean you’re not. If he’s old enough to drop out he’s old enough to get his GED and either work or do college classes


This is how people become homeless man.
I threaten to kick one of mine out constantly but never would actually go through with it because it’s just how he is. He has trouble focusing and as long as his working through it he will get there.
Kids today are like yesterdays. Society today isn’t like yesterday. Remember that. It’s a time of costa t conflict any wonder some kids struggle.
Sit down ask him what he wants to do.
Kicking both out coz of this I’d say yeah your an ass mate.

Here’s the problem… he’s only very recently moved in with you and rules and expectations should have been cemented before that happened. You’re not the asshole for trying to do that now, but for it to work, you really gotta sit down with your partner and hash this out together otherwise, both moving out is exactly what will happen if you try to enforce anything on the son without dad backing you up.
There’s also the child to address as well… he’s just moved, dads not doing much right now (for what ever reason, no judgement), new environments etc…you will need to be supportive and tend to his emotional and mental wellbeing alongside discipline etc or you won’t get anywhere with him.

Nope defiantly not in the wrong
He needs to go to school
End of story
I had this issue with my 15 yrs old
Until t gave him the progression line

No going to school
No getting a school certificate
Can I take your order please


What does your boyfriend say? How old is his son?

Too many missing pieces to this puzzle

1 Like

JUST ME… Taking in a man that doesn’t work and a child refusing to go to school, I presume you are the “bread winner” unless the man is wealthy and also a provider. Again just me saying What a fool you are


Sounds like a very stupid rule to me.


School or work is what I told mine


Get them both out. If you don’t you’ll take care of both of them :woman_shrugging:t2:

1 Like

Either you work or go to school :woman_shrugging:t3:

1 Like

Don’t know about dad, but our rule is similar. In high school once you drive, you get a job unless you play a sport. The only exception is if you are taking difficult advanced classes for scholarship or college class credit that requires more study time. If you quit high school, you better pack your stuff because you are not living under my roof. Then same with college, you will get a job…if you aren’t playing a college sport. My oldest never had a job because she played sports her entire life and college too. Middle one works part time while in high school and will do the same in college.

1 Like

Mine wasn’t school or move out but go to school stay for free other a job and help with rent and bills. Forcing them move out is a little harsh in my opinion but if they need to be productive in some manner.

Need more info to give you a answer to your question. What is the boyfriend doing to contribute to you and your household. Does he get disability or waiting on qualification. Is he looking for another way to bring in income. How old is the son? If he is old enough to drop out, is he looking for a job. If he is not old enough to work he needs to go to school or enroll online, otherwise it’s against the law. I do understand you want them to contribute but you also took them in.


You are not bad, just smart

My moms rule is go to school and live rent free. Drop out then you have to get a job and pay rent and contribute to the bills

Well he sees his dad doing nothing for whatever reason…it’s not negotiable at all… school and or work. I don’t care what the reason is. Actually I would respect a man living in my house not working

We definitely need more information to determine if you are the AH or not - next time preferably with punctuation.


Our rule was always if you want to live for free in the house then you are to be in school (once in highschool) if you choose to drop out then you are working and paying for rent , food and bills. Now that I’m older I totally understand this rule and will enforce it with my kids as well. Definitely try and figure out why he doesn’t want to go to school first maybe try an appointment with the school counselor or look into alternatives to finishing school such as doing correspondence classes.


Depends on age of the son. If the son is a minor absolutely cant kick him out. Also the bf needs to figure out something too. Theres temporary disability. So i have no idea if YATA if there isnt enough info.

Nope. Stick to your boundaries. If they don’t want to then they need to go

How old is son. I told mine you have two choices at age 16. Get your GED at 16.then get job and pay your way in my home. Or finish school with your friends.

One kid chose to finish high school. One chose GED. Give him options.
He sees his dad loafing so he thinks he can too.

You and dad can get in serious trouble for truancy.

Sounds like you might be looking for a way to justify breaking up with your boyfriend


Why would you move the boyfriend in when he can’t work or provide for himself in the first place? If the son is old enough to drop out then he’s old enough to work.
High school should be 100% education, extra curricular and volunteer work. If he’s not doing something to better his life he couldn’t be in my house.

1 Like

Your BF is disabled at this time. Your trying to make rules for your BF son ! You knew all this when you let them in. At least let them stay until your BF can work again. You sound controlling to say the least. You won’t win over the BF son. So try to cool off and don’t throw people out on the street with no way to be able to live. You knew this when you let them in !

NTA. My kid or not you aren’t going to be bumming off me in my house. If there’s an issue with the kid going to school or working then both the bums can go b/c if one parent is ok with letting the kid give up after a day then there’s no drive for either one.


Exactly, you don’t need a freeloader or two

He sees his dad not doing anything so he’s thinking he can do the same. How old is the kid? No, you’re not wrong. It’s your house, your rules. After you get them out, be alone for awhile and concentrate on YOU.


Not allowed to drop in my state anymore ( KY)

We definitely need more information to determine if you’re an AH or not.

You let the boyfriend move in, knowing he doesn’t have a job - and stated him not working is related to an accident. Is he getting any kind of income? How old is the child?


Nope. Get rid of the freeloaders.

I think if it were me I wouldn’t be making rules for someone else’s kid…especially because y’all aren’t even married he’s just a boyfriend and this is his child. You’re okay with your boyfriend not working but want to dictate what his son does? Sounds like maybe you shouldn’t have let them move in…
I would find out why the kid doesn’t wanna go to school and try to meet him with compassion and empathy and understanding to find a solution, not an ultimatum that seems controlling . If you want a future with this man his child comes with that and creating animosity and resentment towards you bc you’re making up rules that clearly his dad doesn’t align with is not a great start.
Maybe let him drop out and help him get his GED ? Then help him get a trade or a job?


School is kinda a joke for some people. It’s outdated. Math , science and history have all changed in some shape or form since I went to school. Yet the books are the same? Figure out what they wish to do in life. If this is a reasonable way to make a living, pour your support into this. Unless they have ADHD like myself. Then you must support as needed. Best of luck.

Go to school or get a job

Are you talking about a minor children here? If bf has custody you can’t kick him out. His father’s home is his home. Does bf contribute to your home? Either financially, cleaning, repairing things? If not & you just moved him to take care of him kick him out. Son has to follow. Otherwise you are not the parent. You can’t make a child homeless because you’re not happy with his decisions. You let your bf move in knowing he comes along.

No your not you set rules

If the bf is supporting the son’s position unjustly, yeah, I agree with you.

No you are not!! STAND FIRM ON YOUR RULES!!!

Keep the same energy with ur fella aswell or r u just looking 2 get rid of his kid?

You were kind of a dummy for letting them in in the first place.

Maybe something happened with his son on the first day of school that made him not want to go back